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Traffic School
Author: Closet Fetishist

Written: February 29th, 2016


It was a bit weird when a perfect stranger offered to take me to traffic school but I needed a ride and who was I to pass it up. I'd picked Toilet Traffic School because the name sounded funny and I thought a comedy traffic school might make it go faster.

Outside my house, she was waiting.

I get in the car, "Hey, thanks for doing this again."

"No problem, where is it?"

"It's on 3rd Street near Lincoln,"

"Okay, great."

She starts to drive, after a few minutes she asks, "So you never told me what happened to your license."

"I lost it after an accident; couldn't pay so the judge ordered they could take my license, fucking bullshit."

"That sucks." She said, she seemed insincere.

"Yeah."

A few minutes later and we were there, I got out of the car and noticed she was too.

"You don't need to hang around, I can find a ride back,"

"No worries, I just wanted to see the class; never hurts to get a few pointers, right?"

I smile, "I guess not."

We walk to the class together where, once inside, we see a relatively empty class, a few people here and there, and the teacher sat at the front of the room; she was gorgeous, with a tremendous booty that was barely covered by a black micro skirt but her leg was mostly covered by thigh high black boots with sharp looking heels. And on top she had a bright pink shirt that showed off her breasts prominently and perfectly as her long blonde hair flowed down almost touching them before she pushes her hair back behind her.

Jess keeps walking, I'm still frozen by the door for a moment.

She looks up, seeing me, "Let's go dear, we're about to start." She says politely.

I take a seat right in front of her, the only seat left; it's feet away from her.

"Let's begin, I'm The Goddess and you'll call me as such; and you're all here because you suck at driving; you're disgusting toilets who can't work a car to save your life, isn't that correct?"

Everyone in the class nodded, I didn't though...I mean, it's a bit exaggerated, isn't it? And Goddess, really?

She stands from her chair and comes around the front of her desk, starting to walk between the aisles near me. "So you're all here to learn how to properly operate a car," she says, just passing me now.

Suddenly, within a few minutes, I smell a horrible smell; like rotting eggs. Maybe someone farted? But...oh my god, this smell is inhuman; I look next to me but he looks back at me, disgusted..."it wasn't..." I try to squeak out but he's already made his mind. Fuck. What the fuck, who did that?

"So that's what you need to do when making a lane change," the teacher says as she comes back down my row. I notice her puff her booty out a little and a long, hot wind blow across my face before I smell the nastiness of her fart. It was her! But I immediately was choking on the smell but trying not to make a scene.

"Do you have a problem?" The Goddess asks me.

"I...uh..." I struggle, what could I say, "uh...no..." I cringe on the rancid smell.

"Good, then I'll continue."

The guy next to me, disgusted from before hits my shoulder; "Dude, cut out the farting, alright?" He whispers angrily.

"I...it's not..."

"Just cut it out, asshole." He whispers.

"I..."

"I believe I'm trying to talk here, toilet," The Goddess says bluntly to me, she's in my face.

I nod, scared.

When she turns around, I feel hot wind blow hard against my face again, assaulting it. She fucking farted again!

"You'll never pass a truck on the right side, it's quite dangerous." The Goddess continues the class. "And I guess that's it, come up and get your certificates,"

The rest of the class rushes to the front, leaving me in my seat until the end, everyone's gone except Jess. I notice there's no more certificates there.

"Uh...did someone take my certificate?"

"No, they didn't; you didn't earn one, I don't think you're ready to pass the class." She says bluntly as she wipes the board down, her booty shaking.

"Didn't earn? But I was in the class, same as everyone else? How didn't I earn the certificate?"

"You caused multiple disruptions; it's clear that you do not know the first thing about operating a vehicle." She says bluntly.

"Distracti...you mean the farting?! That was you! Every time you passed by my desk I felt a long hot wind on my face! What the fuck was that about?

Instead of recoiling back she gets angry, "Were you staring at my booty?" She demands.

I'm off guard, what did she ask..."I...no..no."

"You disgusting little toilet!"

"Why are you calling me that?!"

"Because, toilet, I have decided that you must be disciplined." She says sternly.

"I...wha..." what did she mean.

"You will be taking my gas. As you can see, I've been a bit gassy and I need a face to take it."

"I...how...no I don't want to do that!" But then...she could fail me for this class, and I'll never get my license back.

She just looks at me and smiles.

"Okay, I'll do it," I say, defeated.

She stands and pulls my face into her booty, just hiking up her skirt a little before BRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrraaaaaauuuuuupppp!

A huge, tuba-sounding fart blows through my face, blowing my hair back and the smell is like pure, horrid sulfur right from the source and I wasn't able to get away from it.

"God that fucking stinks! toilet, you need to inhale the gas so I don't smell it."

I get angry while trying to break free, "Fucking bitch!"

PRRRRRrrrrrrppppppp! bRRRRRRRRRRRRrrraaaaaauuuuuupppppp!

She blasts two more massive farts in my face, they seemed inhuman and deafeningly loud.

In between farts, her stomach would gurgle loudly, each time getting more and more gross and wet sounding. What the fuck could that be...what the fuck else could she give me?

"Ahhhh," she sighs but stops suddenly as her booty gurgles grotesquely. She pushes a bit, her booty puffed out over my face before blowing a load of wet shit all over my face.

"Oh my god!" I scream, disgusted by the shit as I pull my face from her booty, falling back on to the ground as I watched her laugh at me, Jess laughed too from her seat.

"You may as well unload all over him now." Jess suggests, laughing some more.

I'm horrified.

"I think you're right," The Goddess says as she prepares herself but Jess stops her.

"Actually there's a stall in the bathroom, I've covered it just for you."

"Really?!" The Goddess' eyes glow, "I can't believe you'd do that for me." The Goddess says as she grabs me by the arm and drags me as her and Jess head out the door. I try to grab a chair leg but it's no use as she breaks me free immediately.

Jess gets down in my face, smiling; "Her booty is going to destroy you, just completely demolish your face until you got shit coming out of your eye sockets."

"You...you can't be serious," I say, still fighting for freedom.

"Oh, I'm so serious. One time, she demolished at least 20 train car loads of toilets and was still ready to dump on a planeload more before she got home."

I shudder with fear.

"I've seen her drown entire cities in her shit, you won't fare well I'm afraid, but she is a Goddess after all...and you're a toilet." She emphasized.

The Goddess moans a bit listening but stops Jess, "Now, dear, don't say that, you'll frighten my toilet." She giggles cruelly. "By the way toilet, it's The MILF."

She open the stall door, inside is one giant toilet and a seat next to it; probably for Jess. Was this something they did together often?

I had no time to think about it as The MILF grabs my head and gently presses me into the toilet with my face up. "Ready, toilet?" She asks maternally, almost sweetly.

"No..." I say.

She just smiles and turns her butt to me, farting a long wet shitty mist all over my face as she sits. "Ahhh. God, this is going to be nasty toilet!" She announces.

"This is fucking disgusting, please don't do this," I say, choking on the gassy blast.

"Hey, this is your fucking job, toilet;"

As she finishes, a large clumpy load drops onto my face with a huge thud like horse shit hitting the ground with a splat that blasted the shit around.

Jess laughs, "That sounded like a huge one, how was that, toilet; the first of so so many!"

The MILF opens up to a few more huge loads that thud on my face with great force as Jess enjoys herself, she seems to be holding her nose now as she speaks, "Ah god, that's so nasty," she laughs, "I don't know how they don't just die within the first few seconds."

Another booty blast throws several more logs onto my face.

"Jess, my booty really doesn't feel good. There's so much pressure in my booty." She says like a child calling to her mother.

"You should just unload all over his face, don't hold back, just completely let rip," Jess says, loudly ensuring I can hear and laughing cruelly after.

"You fucking bitch!" I yell out through a mouth covered with shit.

The MILFs booty explodes like a dye back with a huge brown mist of shit all over.

"What the fuck Jess! How could you let her do this!" PRRRRRRrrpppppp!

She chuckles, then gets angry, "This is what The MILF does and you need to get used to it, toilet!"

"MMmmmmm," The MILF moans, "Jess, dear, tell my toilet how my booty will keep exploding on his face, how my booty just can't hold back and how it's his problem."

"Of course," Jess says, she turns to me, "Her booty right now is churning up some really nasty, nasty shit; it won't be able to hold back at all, it'll just explode all over your face and it's all your fault."

The MILF smiles as her booty starts to rumble, she sits up a bit. I take the time to catch my breath despeartely and wipe my face but then I see the giant log crowning from The MILF's bootyhole, it's huge like a bus and it just hangs there, ominiously over me.

"Oh my god! NOOOOOO!" I scream, seeing it.

Jess laughs, "What is it, toilet? Saw a ghost? Or a huge turd?"

"You can't...please...don't...I...I..." I stammer, eyes glued to the massive log.

"That's going all over your face," she taunts.

The MILF moans pleasurably as her log drops a bit lower from her booty; that's it! Jess was egging The MILF on, this got her some sick sexual thrill. What the fuck!?

"It's about to drop, toilet!" She taunts.

Just as she does the massive log makes easy work to crush my face underneath it's goopy disgustingness as it explodes into a brown mess all over my face and my shirt.

Jess heard the sound and laughs, "Oh my god, I've never heard anything like that; new record!" She shouts proudly. "But, toilet, she's got a lot more to unload on you so don't get too comfortable," she chuckles.

Mmmmmmm, she moans again; clearly enjoying Jess' contributions.

"You're disgusting, toilet!" Jess says down.

The MILF chuckles, "So how clogged is my toilet,"

Jess looks down at me again, she spits in my face; "He's pretty clogged, I mean you could do some more but he'll be full up very soon with your logs."

Jess smiles as she gets an idea, The MILF blasting a huge shart over my face which cleans her booty; she smiles, realizing what Jess is doing.

She chuckles, "Heh, let's call his mom."

The MILF smiles and nods.

"I'm sure she'll want to save her son, better make sure she doesn't know he's in trouble."

"And why would I have any difficulty silencing a toilet, dear?" The MILF asks Jess.

"True." She says as she calls, putting it on speaker as it rings.

"Hello," Ms. Toilet answers on the phone.

"Hello, Ms. Toilet, this is Jess; I'm calling about your son."

Oh my god...that was my mom, they were calling my mom, "Mom! Mom help!" I yell out.

BRRRRRRRRRRRrrrauuuuupppppppp!

A massive wet fart fires loads all over my face that buries it in a creamy soup of brown sludge; I sputter and choke on the waste trying to recover.

"Ahhh." She sighs. "Ms. Toilet, this is Rosemary, I'm your son's teacher, I'm afraid he's been having some trouble in class. We need to know if I can unload all the help he needs." She giggles at the sound, so absurd.

"Oh? Well yes that sounds fine."

"Moooo!!!" I yell up but just as I star The MILFs booty hole opens with a loud of dump truck sized logs all over my face, burying it deep until you could no longer hear me anymore even though I screamed bloody murder, each yell filling my mouth with a little bit of the shit sitting on my face.

"What is that sound," my mom asks; oh thank god...maybe this is it.

Jess jumps in, "Oh Rosemary is just in the restroom, her booty is not feeling very well at the moment but we needed to call you right away,"

The MILF moans pleasurably, as quietly as she can.

"HELPPP!" I yell out as The MILF pushes out disgusting massive logs to cover me some more, I felt like ten pounds of shit rested on my face, slowing dripping disgustingly off the sides and onto my shirt.

"Ms. Toilet, I think moving your son to a new room might help him. Hold on one second." Jess pulls me from the toilet and quickly we move to another room; she takes extra special care to show me the larger toilet and then wink.

I start to moan and cry out but Jess pushes me against The MILFs booty to shut me up until her booty holds me and drops me face up into the toilet.

"Ah, there we are; okay, Ms. Toilet, we're here. Now, Ms. Toilet, my booty isn't feeling well and I need to unload it, do you think I should have to hold it in?"

"Oh no, not at all; that can be very bad for you, you should just unload as much as possible."

The MILF sits up, releasing my head from her smelly prison; Jess checks to make sure I'm in place properly, adjusting me a little.

"Please don't do this," I beg to her quietly.

She smiles and give The MILF a thumbs up.

I watch, horrifyingly stunned as her booty comes down on me.

I hear my mom's voice, "There's nothing worse than booty sickness and you should unload right now!" Mom says confidently.

The MILF chuckles, slightly in pain as she pushes, "I couldn't agree more."

"Mmmmm," The MILF moans pleasurably.

"Yes, that's good, get it all out." Mom encourages, if only she knew....

The MILF moans loudly as her booty blasts a nasty load of dark brown shit, I can see and feel the pieces of corn splatter on my face as I heave and gag on the wretched smell and the disgusting mass of her waste cover my face; I sob softly inhaling the worst of it.

The booty opens again and blasts more shit all over my shirt, completely soaking it in her shit; it was ruined.

"Ms. Toilet, my booty still isn't feeling too good."

"Then you must unload even more, get it all out there; why keep it in, ya know? In fact, why don't you eat a load of chocolate and cheese, not together...I mean, unless you want, but that will really build up your logs and make for a big unload, which can help you clear out your booty; which is always a good thing," mom chuckles, not understanding the damage she was doing.

Jess and The MILF snicker to each other and look down at me.

I scream but The MILF is quick to inject a long coil of shit that blasts down my mouth and covers my face like an ice cream cone; I cry and scream but it's just a series of incoherent gurgles, disgusting gurgles of her shit in my mouth.

"Oh wait," I hear my mom say, is there hope? "Are you The MILF, I've heard about your booty?"

"The MILF?" The MILF asks, saying it awkwardly as if she'd never heard it before. Jess smiles.

"Yes, I've heard of The MILF and her booty which unloads all over toilets. It's quite a feat but sometimes you don't need a toilet, you know? You have to be ready to unload when it feels good instead of waiting for toilets. Or...I guess you could always go get toilets, right?" Mom chuckles.

"Oh?" The MILF replies, "What do you mean by that?"

"Like grab toilets, pathetic toilets and make them take your dumps; I mean that's what you do, right?"

"Um...no, I'm afraid not; though it does sound quite fun."

BRRRRRRrrrraaaaaauuuuuuuupppppp! The MILF farts loud to add to my pain as I hear the end of this call and no help was any closer.

"Well, if that's it, I best get going," My mom says on the phone.

"MMMMMMM." The MILF moans loudly.

"Feeling a bit better, Rosemary?" Mom asks.

"Well," Jess jumps in, "She may be a little better but I think she needs to unload much more.

"Hmmm, well; maybe you should find a toilet's face."

Jess and The MILF snicker to themselves and look back at me, covered in shit already.

"What do you mean, Ms. Toilet?" Jess asks.

"I mean finding a pathetic toilet out on the street and stuffing him under your booty to take all your loads; there's really not much better than that to cure a sick booty."

"MMMMM, that's rather kinky, Ms. Toilet." The MILF says to her. BRRRRRRrrrraaaauuuupppppp!

"Oh, well...thanks; The MILFs stories actually made me think of it so I guess it's credit to her," she admits happily.

The MILF groans painfully and blasts more shit onto my face, a huge log piles onto my face and then drops over down my neck and onto my shirt, it smears into a huge brown puddle near my chest. Disgusting.

"Ahhh. My booty is a little sick." The MILF groans.

"Awww, you poor thing," my mom says, how could she...even if she had no idea; how could she be into this disgusting shit. "It's always a good idea to use a toilet to take your loads, if nothing else is helping, I would find a toilet's face fast; or else you're going to be feeling some serious discomfort and that's a terrible thing."

Jess looks down at me, blocking her nose from the horrible stink, "You hear what your mom is saying," she whispers to me, "She wants The MILF to use your face." She chuckles just narrowly avoiding a long thick brown booty spray of shart all over my face, blasting away some of the old shit in favor of new, fresh shit on my face. Goodie.

One more try, I have to do this." MOM!" I scream at the top of my lungs risking shit in my mouth but The MILF is quick to unload more sticky, corn-filled shit all over my mouth until I was practically choking on it.

The MILF sighs loudly, relieved.

The MILF moans sensually.

"That sounds much better," my mom admits, not knowing she was praising shit all over my face.

The MILFs booty rumbles grossly, I recognized it; mom did too apparently, "Mmmm, that sounds like quite a load you have cooked up, I don't envy whatever toilet is in your booty right now because with a rumble like that, you're about to blow huge!" Mom said, like talking about sports or the weather, it came so easily off her lips.

But suddenly my face is sprayed heavily with soaking thick diarrhea that's a bit thinner but all the more disgusting as it sprays like a hydrant over my face.

"Ms. Toilet, my booty needs to unload like rancid cheese and diarrhea."

"Then just let it out, let loose like crazy!" Mom annouces.

The MILF chuckles, "But what if my booty had been unloading on a toilet's face?"

"That doesn't matter or change anything, just let her rip and fuck that stupid toilet!"

The MILFs booty, almost as if waiting for that OKAY, drops deep moldy cheese logs and diarrhea all over my face in waves that seem to never end, each with more than ten logs that stream out under a riverful of diarrhea blowing through my face like a sewer waterfall. Finally, seemingly the end, The MILF sighs loudly and relaxes but her booty gurgles loudly, right in my face.

"Oh, sounds like you're not done yet; that toilet better brace for more shit!" Mom laughs.

"MOM, PLEASE STOP!" I cry out.

There's a brief pause, then mom laughs, "Your toilet sounds really pathetic. So you must be The MILF, I'll assume you are even if you wont admit it to me; I'm glad I could help you and your booty unload."

The MILF groans loudly, practically screaming, as her booty opens and drops a huge wave of rancid, moldy green cheese and shit logs all over my face in an endless drop all over my face and down my chest.

"That sounds like you're doing much better, Rosemary; I'm glad it's been helping you really unload to your fullest."

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