Closet Fetishist's Stories


Check Out the
Fart Fetish Podcast

Join Our Community

Click Here for

Click Here for


The Paralegal
Author: Closet Fetishist

Written: August 31st, 2016

"Hello Ms. Peters," Kimberly says on the phone.

"Hi Kim, sorry to just call up but I need some advice," says on the other end.

"Okay, what do you need help with?"

"Well, uh...there's been sort of an accident?"

"An accident? Are you alright?"

"Oh, I'm's not me really..."

"So...what is it then?"

"Well, I probably shouldn't discuss this over the phone."

"We have a secure line here, anything you say is totally confidential."

"Okay. Well...urm, I may have...accidentally...uh...killed...a guy."

"Okay, you can't just say that to me...what do you mean, you killed a guy?"

"Well, it was during sex; he said he liked it rough so we were trying a little something. He said, 'Sit on my face.' So I did and it was great for a while, he was eating out my asshole and then...after a while...nothing. He stopped moving. I got up and he wasn't breathing."

"Did you call the police?"

"Not yet."

"Okay, you need to do that, right away."

"I'm worried though...I...uh...may have...farted on him; maybe he choked on it."

"Heh, I don't know about that but it doesn't matter if it was consentual sex; if he wanted it, then you're probably fine. They'll just chalk it up to rough sex gone wrong."


It was then that I felt the hot rush of Kim's gas straight up my nostrils; she had been sitting on me for at least thirty minutes but this was the first wouldn't be the last thought.

I bucked and kicked softly, trying to free my nostrils from her butt crack but she sat down harder and made it impossible to smell anything but her ass and farts.

"No, I'm sure it's going to be fine," I hear Kim say as she adjusts herself on my face; she gives me a brief moment of air as she shifts but it was all too brief to get much out of it as her smelly butt crack closes in again.

"I actually have tapes of him asking for it...farts too; you think they will help?"

"You have tapes? Yeah, I think those will be very important; make sure you keep all copies of those, get them digitized if they aren't already."

"Okay, I'll do that."


Another foul blast sends my head reeling as I try to shake away the smell but it's no use as it encapsulates my head and is sucked up desperately by my nostrils looking for any air at all. I wheeze and choke silently but it's too much for Kim as she gives a swift, firm punch to my chest; I practically heard a crack of one of my ribs under the pressure of her fist.

"No, that was nothing, just my paralegal bothering me with something," she said, dismissing my cries and continuing her conversation.

"I have to tell you though, it was a great feeling."

"Really?" Kim perks up a bit, "I can't imagine...tell me about it."

Kim leans back a bit as Ms. Peters launches into a detailed explanation of facesitting and facefarting to a woman who was currently sitting and farting on her paralegal's face; my face, depriving me of precious oxygen once again.


Kim lets go of a low, burning monster fart that practically blows a hole through my face as I gurgle and sputter, doing anything I can to avoid the smell that clings to her sweaty slacks which are pressed up against my nose so hard that I felt like my nose went inside my face.

I moan softly as Ms. Peters goes on and on.

Kim laughs as I heave desperately on her toxic gas; or was it something Ms. Peters said...maybe both.

"No, I don't imagine that will be a problem; just keep hold of what I've said, make sure your story is solid, and let's just feel this out as it goes," Kim shifts as she speaks, rubbing her sweaty pants butt in my face. Prrrrppp! "Probably nothing will come of it but we'll be ready if it does, okay?"

"That sounds great, thanks Kim."

"It's no problem, that's what you pay me for. Maybe let's get together, I'd love to try that...facesitting thing, sounds fun."

"Oh sure, we'll go trolling for victims one night."

Kim laughs, "That's right, I look forward to it."

"Talk to you again soon."

"Okay, take care; and call the police, okay. It's already going to look suspicious that you called me first but I'll take care of that."

"Okay, thanks again; bye."

Kim finally hangs up; she sighs.


"Ahhhhhh, that's better. Now did you get all that, fart face?"

I choke and sputter underneath her, my vision blurred; I feel completely nauseous.

"I said, did you get all that?"

"Yes, ma'am." I desperately call out, not sure exactly what I'm being asked.

"Good." Kim says, finally standing up and allowing me oxygen finally that was currently tainted with the smell of her farts. "Work up a short file on the case as well as the standard forms, include domestic abuse just in case; got that, shit for brains?"

"Yes, ma'am." I say, practically crying. I could have said it was from the gas but her abuse also destroyed me...but no one else would hire me so I continued working with her, even after she included "fart cushion" as one of the official duties of the job and even wrote an Addendum to my employment contract which she made me to sign or be fired.

"Good, get to work! I'll need you again in 90 minutes, I expect you to be done by then or you'll be staying over with me tonight again, understand? Remember how much you hated that?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good boy! Get out of here!" She barks and I scurry away like the dog I am, to my tiny cramped office to do three days work of work in less than 90 minutes.

© The Fart Closet, All Rights Reserved.