Closet Fetishist's Stories


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The Adventure to Die For
Author: Closet Fetishist

Written: June 2006

I patrolled around the ant hill for a few more hours, there wasn’t going to be any attack, there never has been in the 3 years I have been alive but I had to please the queen. The hill was quiet down on the living levels but just a few levels higher the worker ants were busy as always. They had been at work for a good 6 hours now but they would soon be resting and the next group would come in. Fortunately, I had been given patrol duty so all I had to do was half consciously roam around the hill and watch for anything out of the ordinary and then it would be time for my resting period again, no heavy lifting for me.

It was several hours later that I got a summons from the queen. I quickly ran to her chambers. I brushed my antennas back and entered.

“Yes your majesty?”

“Worker drone, I want you and 6 other ants to explore the nearby human place for any food stuffs for the ant hill. I have heard reports from my scouts that humans have come to that place and no doubt they have brought food with them.”

“It will be done my queen.”

“Good! I have chosen your 6 associates so go now! They are waiting for you topside.”

“Yes you majesty.” I bowed out and headed up the spiral path to the outside world. Six other ants stood there waiting when I emerged from the ant hill. They looked at me in full attention; apparently I was to be the leader of this expedition.

“Alright, you fellas ready to head out?”

“Yes sir!” They all answered in unison.

“Then let’s head out, I will brief you all when we reach the house. MOVE OUT!” I lead the ants quickly to the house where the humans were. The lights were on, the humans were awake making this mission all the more difficult but the queen wanted it done and it had to be done now. The moon was out at this hour, I peered at its enormity, its beauty for just a moment before turning my head back to the path before me. We finally arrived at the house. Quickly we all climbed vertically up the steps and stopped right before the door of the house. I stood in front, the others gathered around in front of me.

“Ok men, we are going in but we must be careful. Don’t make any stupid moves and we should all get out of this fine. It’s dark so the humans should not see us very well, we can use that to our advantage so stick with me and you should all be..........”

“I’m freaking out man!”

“What? Calm down, everything is gonna be fine.” I watched as he continued his episode. After a little while he finally relaxed. “You ok?” He did not respond. “I said, are you ok?” Suddenly, out of no where the ant charged ahead knocking me down as it slipped under the door and into the house. “Shit! Let’s go!” The rest of us charged ahead and under the door. Our eyes were slightly out of whack from the brightness of the inside but eventually I spotted the panicked ant.

“Come back here!” He did not listen. He darted across the floor and towards the middle of the room. We followed until we saw the large human feet enter. I watched the long legs walk oh so near the ant and then finally they stopped and so did he.

“Move it! Move it kid!” But he could not hear my yells. I told the team to hold back as I quickly ran to him. I was about half way there, thinking everything was going to be just fine when I stopped in my tracks. I watched, horrified, as the giant human lowered her ass to the floor, covering the panicked ant. I assumed it was all over right then and there, he had to be gone, squished underneath her ass but then I heard his panicked cries for help. I rushed over there as close as I could get but I had no idea how to help. To my luck, just then the human raised her ass slightly and I was able to reach him.

“Come on man, let’s go!”

“I can’t, I lost my legs.” I looked at the 3 legs laying there near the ant.

“Alright, I’ll get you out of here.” Just then a huge rumble was heard from above. I had heard horror stories about this before but I had never seen it happen. I tried to drag the ant but I could not do it, I was not the strongest worker in the colony in fact I was one of the weak ones when it came to lifting. Another rumble was heard.


“Help me please!” He cried.

“I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“You bastard!” I ran away as fast as I could for I knew exactly what was going to happen next or at least what the stories had said would happen. A huge blast of air emitted from the ass of the human followed very quickly by a loud, disgusting sound. PRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBBB! I closed my eyes and tried to close my ears as I heard the yell from the ant I could not save. The force of the air was too much for him as he flew across the room and hit the door we had entered through, and landed right behind my other team members. I ran back to them and him. The smell that emanated from his lifeless body was otherworldly, worse than garbage that we sometimes had to work in to get food.

“Now, see. This is what happens when you do not follow directions. From now on you are all to do as I say! GOT IT?!”

“Yes sir!” The team tried to look unaffected but it was clear this event had gotten to them but we had to press on.

“Ok, I want you three to go to that room there and see what you can find. You,” I said to one of them, “You are team leader, if anything happens or you find anything come and find me immediately. This guy and I will hang around in this room looking for anything we can find.”

“Yes sir!”

“So you all understand your assignments?”

“Yes sir!”

“Then go to it!” I watched as the three ants quickly ran off. Then my partner and I headed off as well.

We spent quite a while looking but found nothing until finally we both sensed a lot of pungent smells of different foods.

“We must be close to where they store the food.” My partner just nodded. Just as we were going to head in the direction of the wonderful smell, the team leader of the squad I sent came running up to us. He was breathing heavily and appeared very weak.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just barely made it out alive.” He panted loudly as he spoke.

“What happened?”

“We were searching the room just like you asked. I went up to get a better look as I watched my two team members get into this bowl type thing. Well, after scoping the place I went to join them to see if they had found anything. Just as I got there a bright light burst into the room and I hopped off the bowl and hid behind it. I then watched as the giant human came and sat right on the hole to the bowl!!! Well I heard the two screaming, they were scared and then the big human kept blowing her ass air into the bowl and I heard the cries. I heard the cries of the ants trying to get out but they were too weak the walls of the bowl were too slippery for them to leave. More air was blasted into the bowl and then I was horrified when I heard a loud whooshing sound. When the giant left, I looked into the bowl but they were no where to be found.”

“No, how could this have happened?”

“I’m sorry, I have failed you sir. I’m sorry.” I watched as the ant died right there in front of me. He was too exhausted to go on; he had lived through too much and did not want to live any longer. I watched as my partner wept for him and that is when I realized we were going to die, either here or back at the ant hill. If we did not come back with anything the queen would surely have us killed but staying here we were just as likely to die.

“Should we finish the job?” I asked. My partner knew very well the consequences of either action.

“Let’s do it.”

“Alright, follow me.” We both headed toward where the smell was emanating. When we were close we decided it was best to head up to get a better view on things. We climbed the tall structure and emerged on top. We both stood in awe as we saw a delicious cake sitting there as if it was waiting for us. We wasted no time in climbing the cake. The cake was covered in delicious white frosting that we both took a few bites of before getting ready to gather some for the queen. Just as we did, the cake was lifted into the air and held by one of the giants. It was placed on a table nearby. Then I watched as the giant removed her colored covering and placed her ass near the cake. Oh no, I thought, not again!

“Hold on man!” We both dug into the cake to try to hold onto it. Then the air blasted away, blast after blast with the smell increasing with each blow. I was dizzy after a few blows but I quickly shook it off. A few more were blasted at the cake and then they stopped. What the hell kind of human blows ass air on a cake, I wondered. I dropped the thought and looked for my partner. I finally saw him, he seemed to be ok. “Come on dude. Grab some and let’s go.” I took a large clump of cake and was about to head down when I noticed my partner was stuck. I dropped my piece and ran to him. I pulled and pulled to get him free but it was to no avail. Then I watched in horror as another giant sat down in front of the cake with a huge shovel thing looking like she was going to eat it. Her shovel touched the cake and dug in. She pulled it away and took a bite of it.

“MMMMMMmmmm!” I heard her say but I had no idea what it meant. It looked like she enjoyed it as she dipped her tool in one more time, closer to us this time, and took another bite. I pulled and pulled on my partner but he would not budge. I was not going to let him die here without trying to free him but it was too late. The shovel dug underneath us and lifted us up. I tried to pull him once more but there was nothing I could do.

“Good bye,” he said to me. I looked at him, a tear in my eye and then turned around to jump off the spoon and onto the cake. I landed deep in it but I was able to fight my way out. I heard his scream as he entered the human’s month and then nothing. I ran and ran as fast as I could, off the cake, off the table, across the floor, under the door, and out of the house. I did not stop running until I entered the ant hill. That is when I finally relaxed. I barely had a second to rest before the queen sent her summons to me.

“Yes, you highness.” I was still out of breath.

“I do not hear good things about you expedition, drone!”

“Yes, well you see ma’am....”

“SILENCE! You will not speak!” I gulped and stood there, quietly. “It seems that you not only had your entire squad killed, you also have no results for such a large cost of lives. For this I am afraid the punishment is death.” I nodded to show my understanding of what was to become of me. “Guards....kill him.” I closed my eyes as the guards approached and I never opened them again.

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