By: n0idedalex
“Done.”
The voice of a woman monotonously said as she placed another stack of papers onto the “out” tray on her desk. It was the voice of a woman desperately wishing she was doing something other than this. A woman that worked her way up to the position she was in specifically to avoid dull paperwork. A woman that has proved time and time again that she is capable of so much more in her life.
“I could be at home gardening right now.”
A woman named Zhu Yuan.
Zhu Yuan was, as far as the general public knew, the best police public security officer in all of New Eridu. Highly decorated, captain of the Criminal Investigation Special Response Team, de facto face of PubSec as a whole, it’s no wonder why she was expected to get promoted to commissioner soon.
Zhu was also, according to anyone that has ever laid eyes on her, extremely attractive. She was 5’9” and relatively thin. She had pale skin, long black hair with red streaks that was usually done up in a ponytail, and piercing red eyes. She also had long legs, a nearly completely flat midriff, and slightly above average sized breasts.
However, perhaps her most famous physical feature was her well above average sized butt. Zhu had always been self-conscious of it. Putting on and taking off her uniform’s pants was a struggle because of it. Even well before she ever joined PubSec, she lived with having to deal with dozens of comments, hundreds of wolf whistles and thousands upon thousands of stares. In more recent years, she’s had to detain and scold more than a few members of both sexes for sexual harassment.
All of this is to say that Zhu was very protective of her public image. She didn’t use social media, rarely went out when off the job, and did everything she could to make sure that there weren't any scandalous pictures or videos of her anywhere on the internet. She needed a good reputation to get that promotion.
She also needed to actually arrest criminals. Unfortunately, today has been extremely slow. It was well past lunchtime and there had only been a grand total of two calls to her team today; an old lady complaining about nearby construction being too loud, and a literal cat stuck in a tree.
Zhu had spent nearly the entire day in her office filing paperwork, bored out of her mind. She leaned back, stretched and yawned as she placed her pen down.
“Ugh. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but would someone break the law already?” Zhu said to herself. She knew that this job would have its slow days, but days this slow were a rarity. She leaned even further back into her chair and stared at the ceiling for a couple minutes before…
BEEP-BEEP! BEEP-BEEP! BEEP-BEEP!
Zhu’s watch alarm started to go off. She looked at the time as she shut off the alarm.
3:58 pm.
Zhu sighed as she stood up. It was almost time for her daily 15 minute break. Most officers have smoke breaks or vape breaks, but Zhu took a very different type of break.
Zhu Yuan had a fart break.
As a part of keeping her reputation up (and to keep attention away from her butt), Zhu made the active choice to hold in her farts all day no matter what. Of course, this quickly turned out to be impossible, so she soon decided to have a short “break” partway through her shift where she would let out all of the gas she’d been holding in up to that point. Today would be no different.
Zhu kept her face neutral as she stepped out of her office and walked down the hallway. She had felt the pressure of her gas building in her guts for a while now, but she had developed an A+ poker face after doing this for so long. She entered the stairwell and began to walk downstairs to the parking lot. Once there, she quickly headed for her Pubsec cruiser and got inside.
As soon as she closed the car door, she leaned back into the driver’s seat and breathed a sigh of relief. She was in her own little sanctuary now, shut off from the rest of the world. She placed her right hand on her silently cramping belly. Without wasting any more time, Zhu leaned to the side, breathed in… and pushed.
BLBLbplbplbplbplprlbplrplrplrplrpltprtprtpttbplrbplrtttptt!
As we all know, the longer you hold in your farts, the worse they get when you finally let them out. Many people have moments where they have to hold in some gas for a while, during a meeting or a class for example, and then finally rip a “big” one once they’re alone. Well, imagine holding your farts in for SIX HOURS. Now imagine getting in a small unventilated area and unleashing all that pent-up pressure all at once. That’s what Zhu Yuan did EVERY SINGLE DAY.
BBPBPBPBPBPrprrrrrpRPPRprprprprprpprPRTPrprtpttttt!
In addition to being held in all day, Zhu’s massive farts were also the result of her diet. Because of her job (and desire to keep her reputation up), Zhu exercised regularly and kept a low-calorie, high-protein diet. Turns out protein makes you fart more often than normal, and it makes them smell really bad too. All of these elements (plus a little bit of work-stress for good measure) makes Zhu’s fart breaks a truly explosive show that only gets attended by Zhu herself.
BPPPRR-BBPPPR-BPBPBPBPRPPPRPrprprrprrrr…
Zhu’s usual snow-white face began to blush into a faint red as she finally felt the knots in her stomach start to loosen. “Ugh… I need to cut back on the broccoli. This is getting ridiculous.” Zhu said to herself.
Around this point in her fart break, Zhu usually catches a whiff of her own gas. As stated before, her farts almost always smelled HORRIBLE. A wretched combination of spoiled milk, rotten eggs, garbage, and ass sweat. She was somewhat used to the stench by this point, but it was still an assault on her nose. Unfortunately, she couldn't crack open her window for fresh air, as that would risk someone outside hearing her farts. Her face cringed in displeasure as she tried to wave the smell away, but the stench refused to disperse in the enclosed space.
Zhu groaned in annoyance. “God… why are they always this bad…?” She rhetorically asked herself.
BLblblblblblblblblrlrlrllrlrprprprprprprptptptptpttttt…
The sound of Zhu’s farts were usually low, bassy, and bubbly. A result of her ass cheeks being smooshed together by her tight leather pants. Zhu’s pants also did a somewhat decent job of covering up most of the sound, as her farts were WAY louder when she wasn’t wearing them. The length of Zhu’s farts was pretty consistent, about five seconds each. That may not sound so bad to some, but dropping five seconds long stink bombs every twenty seconds can be quite the workout, and Zhu could attest to that.
Actually, no she wouldn’t. This was supposed to be a secret.
BBRRRRRPPPRTPRPTPRTPBRPPTPTRPTTT!
“Ugh!” Zhu grunted and cursed under her breath. “That one was really loud…” She waved the air in front of her again to no avail. “Why do we even bother with tickets? We should punish misdemeanors with these instead. Heh.” Zhu joked to herself. She wouldn’t actually do that of course, that'd be embarrassing.
Zhu’s fart break went on for over a dozen more minutes. During which, she dropped no fewer than thirty stinkbombs. Near the end of her break, she was starting to get tired and sweaty from pushing out so much gas, as usual. She checked her watch again.
4:13 pm.
She should be getting back to her office soon…
GGGGGgggrrrrrrrr…
Right after one more fart. She felt a big one coming up. Zhu leaned to her right, grabbed her left buttcheek with her left hand, and…
BBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRR-Bprrtplrrptrpbmrmrptmrpmtmtpmrptprtptptptptpttttt!
Pushed out one final massive ass blast. It practically tore a hole through her pants just from the sheer force alone. Her eyes widened as she stared at herself in the rear-view mirror. A small blood vessel started to form on her head from her pushing so hard. It also lasted a little longer than usual too, at just under eight seconds. Zhu moaned softly and collapsed a little bit once the fart ended. She leaned back into her chair and took a few deep breaths… unintentionally breathing in her fart.
Zhu winced and coughed at the smell. "Oh Jesus… cough cough …God, that one was criminal. I should arrest myself for that." She joked to herself again.
After a few more moments spent catching her breath, Zhu stepped out of her car, straightened her tie and re-did her hair. “Ok, back to work. Paperwork isn't gonna file itself.” She said to herself as she started to walk back to the stairs.
That Night
Zhu was at home watching TV by herself. Due to her long and (typically) exhausting shifts, Zhu spent most of her free time on workdays relaxing and not physically moving much. Today was no different (even though today was far from “exhausting”). Zhu was sitting on her couch wearing casual clothes, a grey tank top and baggy sweatpants, and had her long hair down instead of up in her usual ponytail. She had her feet propped up on the coffee table, secretly wishing someone was there to rub them. She was watching an old episode of her favorite sitcom New Eridu Nine-Nine while eating out of a bowl of no-fat, unsalted potato chips, the only “snack” her diet allowed her to eat. On the weekends she’d be doing something more exhilarating like exercising or taking care of her garden, but in between work shifts, she liked to just sink into her couch.
Once the episode ended Zhu checked her phone. It was getting close to midnight.
Zhu sighed. “I should be getting ready for bed soon…” She said as she sat up and stretched. “Can’t we hire, like, a co-captain? And we’d alternate days? That’d be nice.” Being the captain of her team, Zhu was the only member required to show up to work five days a week instead of the usual four. She honestly didn’t mind it too much, but it did mean less time to herself.
Zhu stood up from her couch and…
GGGgggggrrrrrrr…
…her stomach started to rumble again. She barely reacted to it though, only placing a single hand on her belly. This was already a common occurrence to her and she was completely alone. She bent forward slightly and…
BBPRTPPBPRPTPBPRPTRPTBPrptpt… PBRPPTPBPRTPBPRPT!!
…lazily pushed out two relatively small farts from her objectively big bottom. Without her tight leather uniform pants compressing her buttcheeks together, her farts were much louder than the ones she ripped in her fart break today. Zhu merely grunted to herself in reaction. She had a very different reaction once she got a whiff of what she had just ripped.
“HOLY-! Goddamn!” Zhu shouted as she pinched her nose and fanned the air behind her behind. “The hell do they put in that stuff?”
Zhu was referring to a new brand of protein powder she had been trying out. For some reason, something in it made her farts smell even worse than usual. It was the same smell from before, but about three times stronger.
“Christ, we could punish criminals with these…” Right after she said that, Zhu blinked a few times as she realized that she had said something similar to herself earlier that day. She was joking to herself before, but… what if? What if she really did use her farts to punish a criminal? She obviously wouldn’t do that, that’d be extremely unprofessional and unbecoming of a PubSec officer. But, hypothetically, if she would do that… what would it feel like?
Zhu’s stomach was still cramping up, so she still had plenty of gas in her tank. Zhu looked around her empty living room (for some reason) and then looked behind her. Her eyes landed on a small black throw pillow on her couch and a small smile appeared on her face. She picked it up and placed it upright on the spot where she was just sitting. She stepped back and looked at it for a few seconds before turning around. She faced away from the pillow for a few more seconds until…
“Freeze!” She shouted as she turned around and pointed at the pillow. “You’re under arrest for, um… littering!”
Sometimes, when Zhu was alone, she liked to play a character she made up called “Bad Cop”. Bad Cop is essentially an exaggerated version of Zhu that she would describe as “evil” or “corrupt”. As Bad Cop, Zhu would pretend to arrest and/or punish criminals in manners she would never think of doing in real life. Originally, Bad Cop was a way of privately venting her frustrations over her job. Nowadays, it’s mostly a way of amusing herself.
“Lowlife criminals like you make me sick.” She said to the pillow. “Have you no care for the environment? I should take you in just for that. But… that would mean doing a lot of paperwork, so I’m gonna cut you a deal. I’ll let you go with just a warning, if you can survive five minutes of my farts. What do you say?”
“...” said the pillow, in a very pillow-like manner.
“Heh, good choice.” Zhu said, pretending like the pillow asked for her farts. Zhu turned around and pointed her butt at the pillow. “Get ready for your punishment…” Zhu breathed in and…
BBBPBPBAAAPPBRPPPBPBPAPAPBBPAPRPPTTPTTT!!
…pushed out a really loud five second butt bomb. Sound-wise, it was just as low as her typical farts, but Zhu was pushing extra hard, so it had a lot more force to it. It wasn’t particularly wet though. Zhu wasn’t known for ripping wet farts very often. Instead, it had a much beefier, meatier feel to it. Zhu let out a satisfied moan once her fart ended.
The pillow didn’t respond, as it was a pillow.
“How was that?” Zhu asked the pillow. “Too much for ya already? You should’ve just let me take you downtown. Would’ve been less traumatizing. Too late to change your mind now, though.”
Zhu grabbed the pillow and pressed it against her butt. “We’re far from done…”
PPPPTPTPPRPTRPRTPMPMPMPRTPRTPTPRTPTTT!!
Another massive fart blasted out of Zhu’s butt and landed directly into the pillow. It was just as loud as the one before it, as the pillow did almost nothing to muffle the sound or volume of the fart, despite covering most of her butt.
“Mmm…” Zhu lightly moaned to herself. “Get a load of that. What’s that? You don’t like it? Too bad! You broke the law, and now you have to pay the price. And let me tell you something…”
Zhu dropped the pillow onto the couch cushion and sat on it.
“Crime stinks…”
PTPTPtprptprtprtprptrptprbprpbprbprbbAprtpAprtpAPTPARTPTRTPRPTPRTTTT!
Zhu unleashed one more ass blast upon the throw pillow. It was a little longer than her last two farts, at around seven seconds. This one was actually muffled by the pillow a little bit, only because her full body weight was pressed on it. It did get a bit louder at the end when she leaned to the side and exposed some of her butt to the open air.
“Heh. You holding up down there criminal? I bet you’ll never litter ever again once I’m done with y-... sniff. sniff sniff. …-Oh my god!”
Zhu covered her nose and got up from the couch as she sniffed her own ass gas again. Somehow, the stench had gotten even stronger than it was just two minutes ago. It was so strong at this point that it instantly snapped Zhu out of Bad Cop.
“Sweet Jesus. Did I do that? Goddamn…” Zhu turned around and looked at the throw pillow on the couch. “Smells like the bathroom at work now.”
Even though Zhu was coming to her senses, a thought persisted in her brain. One she wanted to deny, but was slowly admitting to herself in her head. She… kinda liked that. Not the whole “farting on her pillow” thing, but rather imagining herself punishing a criminal with her farts. It was kinda fun to think about.
Zhu shook her head vigorously as she tried to get those thoughts out of her head. She would never do that. NEVER. Even to the worst criminal she could encounter, she would never, under any circumstances, EVER fart in someone’s face. Especially not against their will.
Zhu picked up the throw pillow she had just violated and held it at arms length from her. Even at a distance, she could still smell her shame on it.
“Man… This one’s my favorite. Now I have to wash it”. Zhu looked at the clock on the wall. It was definitely past midnight now. “Ehh… tomorrow.”
With that, Zhu tossed the pillow back onto the couch, right next to the other throw pillow. The white one.
“Hm. That would look pretty bad.” Zhu thought to herself. “If someone saw me pick the black pillow to fart on instead of the white one.”
“...”
“Good thing I live alone.” Zhu said to herself. With that, she turned to the side and headed for the stairs.
The Next Day
Zhu was sitting in her cruiser parked behind a billboard in the outskirts of New Eridu. A rather unusual spot for her, but she chose the spot to “track down the less obvious criminals". In reality, she just wanted to deal with a less hectic part of the city for one day. Turns out, waiting for speeders is almost as boring as filing reports (well, maybe less straining for her wrist). She had been sitting in one spot for about two hours now, watching the occasional self-driving car going exactly the speed limit drive down the featureless road. It wouldn’t be so bad if she could at least listen to music as she waited, but all Pubsec cruisers are custom built with media players removed to “increase officer attention”, so that wasn’t an option.
Mentally tired from the tedium, Zhu leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes.
…
Zhu was starting to wonder if she made the right career choice.
Of course she did, obviously. She wouldn’t be captain of her team if she didn’t. But still, there were times (like right now) where the positives of being a PubSec officer didn’t seem to outweigh the negatives enough. Her job was extremely dangerous, mentally taxing, physically exhausting, highly stressful, limited much of her social life, and a myriad of other things. But at least the pay was great and she was considered a hero by many…
…
Was that worth it?
Did Zhu even want to be commissioner?
What did Zhu even want to be? What if she wanted to settle down and start a family? Did she even want that? What did Zhu want? What does anyone want? Why are we here? What’s the meaning of life? What happens after we die? What-
…vvvvvvvVVVVVVRRROOOOMMMMMMMmmmmm…
Zhu was suddenly jolted awake by a blue sports car whipping past her hidden cruiser at an insane speed.
“Huh?! What?! Who?!” Zhu stammered as she looked side to side for a couple seconds. Her eyes quickly landed on the car practically flying away from her. She then looked down at her propped up speed gun.
120 km/h… in a 70 zone. (~75 mph in a 40 zone)
In an instant, a brief shot of adrenaline coursed through Zhu’s veins. Her eyes narrowed and a merciless frown spread across her face as she started her cruiser and turned on the sirens.
“Oh, no you don’t. Not on my watch.” Zhu confidently said with a surprising lack of irony.
With that, she slammed her foot on the accelerator and began to chase after the sports car. Zhu’s cruiser approached the car in less than a minute.
“Come on, pull over.” Zhu said to herself. “I know you can see me.”
The driver of the blue car did in fact see her, as it began to slow down within seconds. Zhu grinned as she pressed on her brakes as well. A couple moments later, both cars were stopped on the side of the road. Zhu let out a satisfied huff, shut off her car and stepped out, closing her door with a loud slam. She ran a hand through her hair as she sauntered over to the car. She almost forgot how good it felt to catch a criminal in the act. She stopped in front of the driver side door, knocked on the window with a single knuckle and crossed her arms.
The window slowly rolled down to reveal the driver, a young looking man with brown skin, short hair and a beard. He was wearing jeans, a black graphic t-shirt and sunglasses. He breathed in deeply before speaking.
“What seems to be the problem, officerrrrrrrr…” The man said as he turned his head to the left to look at Zhu. His voice dragged on at the word “officer” as his eyes landed on Zhu's hips. He slowly moved his head up to look at her face. He seemed to be instantly flustered by her appearance.
Zhu rolled her eyes and exhaled out of her nose for half a second. Great, another perp that finds her attractive. Hopefully this one won’t try to smooth talk his way out of getting a ticket like countless people tried before.
“You are aware that the speed limit here is 70 km/h, yes?” Zhu asked the driver.
“I, um, yeah, I know... how... How fast was I going?” The driver asked nervously, his voice cracked a little when he said “fast”.
“Oh, only nearly double that. 120.” Zhu responded sternly
“120?” The driver replied. “I-... I didn’t know! I mean… Are… Are you sure that’s right? I mean, maybe your speed… um, checking… thing is faulty. ‘Cause, there’s no way I was-”
“Hand over your N.E.I.C.” Zhu coldly commanded.
“I-... O-Okay…”
The New Eridu Identification Card (N.E.I.C.) was a small ID card that all New Eridu residents were required to carry at all times. It served many functions, but its main one was to help PubSec keep track of civilians and potential criminals. Though, some people have criticized the card, considering it to be "literally 1984”.
After a couple seconds of rummaging, the driver pulled out his N.E.I.C. and handed it to Zhu. Zhu pulled out her N.E.I.C. Reader and inserted his card into her handheld device. After about 10 seconds, a profile of the driver popped up. There, Zhu learned the driver's name, Alex Noid, along with other information like his age, height, weight, address, and more. She also learned that Alex had been living in New Eridu for only about a month and had a handful of unpaid parking tickets in his criminal record. Zhu pulled out the card and tossed it in Alex’s lap.
“So… Alex.” Zhu began to speak in a judgmental tone. “You’re being charged with speeding 50 km over the limit. That alone is a pretty hefty fine, but… you also seem to have almost $300 in unpaid parking tickets. Care to explain?”
Alex merely stammered while rubbing his forehead in response.
“Right.” Zhu said disappointedly. “Well, typically I go easy on first time offenders, but seeing as you seem to have trouble with actually paying your tickets, maybe a wake up call is in order. How does… $500 sound?
“What? $500?!” Alex shouted.
Zhu put a hand up to quiet him down. “Yes, $500. Considering how fast you were going, I’m being quite generous. Of course, that’s not counting the surcharges, and the points you’ll get on your record. Too many of those, and it's bye bye to your license.”
A slight smirk was starting to creep onto Zhu’s face. She’d always deny it, but she subconsciously enjoyed punishing criminals. It was one of her main duties as an officer after all. She was just doing her job…
“Oh, please miss, there- there has to be something else. I-... I can’t pay that much. I- I- I-”
“Hey!” Zhu shouted as she pointed a finger at Alex. “You should’ve thought of that before breaking the law. Maybe next time, you’ll think ahead before you-”
GGGGGGGGGRRRRRrrrrrrrr…
Zhu’s eyes widened as her stomach started to loudly rumble, and she placed an arm on her stomach as it started to cramp.
“What the hell?” Zhu thought to herself. “Why does my stomach hurt all of a sudden? It’s not even-”
BEEP-BEEP! BEEP-BEEP! BEEP-BEEP!
Zhu’s watch alarm started to go off. She looked at the time as she frantically brought it to her face
3:58 pm.
“Oh shit.”
Zhu froze. In the boredom of sitting in a still car for so long and the excitement of chasing after Alex, she had neglected to take note of the time. She didn’t even need to hold in her farts today, she was alone in her car for hours, but her muscle memory must’ve been locked in. And now, there she was, standing in front of a criminal just a couple minutes away from her butt going off. She specifically scheduled her days to avoid this from happening, but she was bound to slip up one day. If only there was someway to-
!!!
Suddenly, a memory pops into her head. A comment she made about her own gas yesterday.
"Why do we even bother with tickets? We should punish misdemeanors with these instead."
That, plus the little roleplay she had with herself last night where she “punished” a pillow with her farts. Specifically, how good it felt.
And now, there she was, with a criminal... and a loaded stomach…
“Um... you ok, ma'am? Er, officer?” Alex asked the now silent Zhu.
Zhu remained silent for about five more seconds. During that time, a surprising amount happened in her head. She thought about her joke (now semi-serious idea) about punishing criminals with her farts. She thought about her reputation as a PubSec captain. She thought about how she didn’t like how Alex was staring at her a couple minutes ago. She thought about how her teammates would react if they found out she farted on a criminal. Her subconscious reminded her how much she enjoyed punishing criminals. She thought about how bad her farts were going to smell. And she thought about the fact that she and Alex were completely alone…
Zhu Yuan could take years of therapy and never truly understand what happened in her mind that day, but for some reason, whatever reason, Bad Cop briefly took over Zhu’s mind.
Zhu moved a hand up her torso and turned off her bodycam.
"Actually, I have an idea. I could give you a ticket, or…” Zhu crouched down so her face was finally level with Alex’s. “I can give you an… alternative punishment instead.”
Alex seemed to be slightly relieved yet moderately concerned to hear that. “Oh, really? Um... what?” he asked.
“I am willing to look the other way on this whole ‘speeding’ issue, and maybe even remove your active tickets as well. All you need to do is make it through fifteen minutes…” Zhu leaned her head even closer to Alex. “...of my farts.”
Alex stared at Zhu for several seconds. “I… I’m sorry, what? You want me to… what, smell your farts?” He asked.
“That is exactly what I’m proposing.” Zhu answered as she nodded.
“Are… are you allowed to do that?”
Zhu frowned. “Would you rather the $500 ticket instead?”
Alex looked ahead of him as he weighed his options. “I… I… Um…” He stammered as he looked around his car. There was still no one else around them. He took one more deep breath before speaking again. “J-Just fifteen minutes, right?” He asked.
“Give or take.” Zhu answered. “No one will ever know.” A somewhat comforting smile was spreading on her face.
Alex looked straight ahead and tapped on his steering wheel for a few more seconds before finally agreeing. “Fine. Deal.” Zhu’s warm smile almost immediately turned into a menacing grin as soon as Alex said “deal”.
“Excellent. Just sit right there…” Zhu said as she stood up. She started to turn before stopping to face Alex again. “Oh, and one more thing. If you so much as lay a finger on me, I will arrest you for sexual assault and take you downtown without hesitation. Got it?”
“Uh… ok?” Alex replied, voice cracking again. He was confused on why she would specify to not sexually assault her. That went without saying, right? It’s not like Alex was some sex-crazed pervert that was a danger to women around him. Why’d she feel the need to make that warning?
That question was answered immediately as Alex watched Zhu turn around and stick her butt through the open window. His eyes locked onto it instantly and his body froze. He didn’t know it at the time, but it was, without question, the greatest ass he had ever laid eyes on. “Perfect” was the only word that could properly describe it. The perfect size, the perfect curvature, the perfect way her leather pants showed it off. In just a couple of seconds, Alex could feel excessive amounts of saliva forming in his slightly open mouth. He instantly understood why Zhu told him to keep his hands to himself.
“Ready for your punishment?” Zhu asked Alex.
“Uh… y-yeah…” Alex mumbled, barely hearing her.
Without saying a word, Zhu looked at her watch again.
4:00 pm.
It was time. Placing her hands on her thighs, Zhu finally unclenched her buttcheeks, took a deep breath… and pushed.
PBPBpbpbpbbrrbrbrbmrmrmrmfmpfmprmtrmtmrpmtptttptmtpmttt!
With very little effort, Zhu ripped the first fart of Alex’s punishment. It was slightly longer than usual at six seconds, but otherwise pretty typical for Zhu. Loud (yet slightly muffled), deep, bassy, bubbly, and most importantly…
“Holy shit!”
…extremely stinky. Alex’s nose was quickly assaulted by the horrific stench. While Zhu was somewhat used to the smell, virtually no other human in New Eridu would’ve been. Alex was essentially a guinea pig for this new form of torture punishment, and judging by the fact that he had to cover his face with his shirt almost instantly, it was very effective.
“Oh my god, lady.” Alex exclaimed. “What the hell did you eat?”
Zhu’s grin only grew wider as she heard Alex’s disgusted reaction. It felt weirdly satisfying to hear him struggle like that. “That's none of your business.” She asserted, trying to sound annoyed instead of smug. “You agreed to this, remember? So get used to it.”
As her stomach silently cramped up again, Zhu leaned her butt into the window again. She grabbed the ledge of the roof of Alex’s car to brace herself and pushed again.
PBPBPBRrrrfmfmfmfmfprpmfprfmrprpmrpmRPTPRTTTTT!
Another explosion of ass-gas ripped through Zhu’s leather pants and into Alex’s car. It was just as loud and relentless as the last, though a little shorter. The smell, still thick and overwhelming, infected the air and filled Alex’s nostrils for a second time.
Alex started to gag and cough as he felt Zhu’s farts hit his mouth. A part of his brain wondered how someone could produce farts that rancid, but most of it was still working on how to survive the toxic gas that was slowly replacing the breathable air in his car.
“Holy... fucking shit…” Alex shouted in between coughs. “I changed my mind! Give me a ticket! This is... oh my god…”
Zhu heard Alex’s desperate plea from the outside. Though, his voice was somewhat muffled due to her butt blocking most of the window. She didn’t feel bad for the guy though. It’s what he deserved for speeding so fast… and for staring at her hips earlier.
“Too late.” Zhu replied coldly. “Once a punishment starts, there’s no backing out until it's done. And I am far from done…” Zhu moved her right hand down to grab her right buttcheek and spread it slightly. “In fact, I think this next one is gonna be… extra unforgiving.”
Alex started to panic when she said that. “Oh, god. Please don't-...”
BBBbbpbpbprprprprprprrfrfrfrfpfpfpfpfpfpfpfpffbfffbfffbfffbfbfttttttmmmrptrptrptrptttt!!
A monstrous eight second long butt bomb exploded from Zhu’s rear. Alex could literally feel its hot presence move around his face. It sounded surprisingly violent, like Zhu’s thick leather pants were going to tear from the sheer force of it. The smell was only getting stronger too. Alex’s nose was finally starting to pick up hints of ass sweat and garbage in the fart. Not that it registered in his brain, he was still mostly freaking out.
“Oh my fucking god!” Was all Alex could get out before he went into a coughing fit. Almost all of the air immediately around him had been replaced by Zhu’s personal tear gas. He felt like he was going to pass out from her farts at this rate. Maybe she was trying to do that on purpose?
Zhu took a moment to relish Alex’s pained reaction. She actually chuckled a little upon hearing him choke on her gas.
“Listen to him.” Zhu thought to herself. “Suffering in there like his life depends on it. Good. serves him right for staring at me like that.”
Zhu didn’t even notice herself enjoying the fact that she was making Alex suffer. Perhaps Bad Cop was taking too much control over her.
“Getting lightheaded yet?” Zhu asked casually as she let go of her butt.
“I... I feel kinda faint, actually…” Alex meekly answered. “I think… I think I might-”
PBPBPBPBPbpbpbpbbprpbprpprtpttt!
“Gonna what?” Zhu teasingly asked Alex after her butt rudely interrupted him.
“Would-... Would you please stop doing that?! I can barely breathe in here!” Alex protested.
“For the last time” Zhu said as she rolled her eyes. “We're not done until your punishment is over. Which should be about…” Zhu checked her watch again. “Thirteen minutes from now…”
“What?!” Alex shrieked.
“Yup.” Zhu replied. “So don’t pass out on me yet. We are just getting started…”
BPBPBPBPrprprprpprpfpfpfpfpfpfrpfrpfrpfrbmbmbmbmbbrbrbrPPPTTTT!!
The next twelve minutes were some of the longest of Alex’s life. He was stuck in an endless cycle. Zhu ripped unholy amounts of ass, Alex was forced to smell it, repeat. After minute five, he felt like he was going to lose his sense of smell. After minute ten, he felt like he was going to lose his sense of reality.
Zhu, on the other hand, was having the time of her life. Or, at least the Bad Cop part of her was. Hearing what she considered to be a common criminal nearly suffocate from her own farts was beyond thrilling for her. That, coupled with how she normally kept this gassy side of her hidden from virtually everyone, made this even more scandalous to her. Naughty, even.
Eventually, Zhu checked her watch and saw and looked at the time.
4:14 pm
Looks like Alex’s punishment is almost over…
GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRR!
…not before she lets out one more stink bomb, of course. She wanted to make this finale extra grand. That’s when an idea popped in her head…
“Ok, you’re almost done.” Zhu said to Alex. “But I got one more in me, and I want to make it extra special.”
Alex didn’t respond. He was extremely tired from the whole ordeal and was leaning back in his chair while taking shallow breaths.
Zhu then placed her hands on the waistband of her pants.
“And remember…” Zhu said in an almost singsong fashion before speaking in a deadpan, serious tone. “...keep your hands to your fucking self.”
The sudden explicit language made Alex slowly turn his head to see what Zhu was doing. His eyes slowly widened when he found out.
Zhu was slowly but surely pulling her pants down. A task easier said than done given her butt size and the pants’ tight waistband, but pull them down she did. Just far enough to expose her now panty-clad rear. A thin pair of dark grey panties were the only thing stopping Zhu from committing public indecency. They had almost entirely been sucked into her buttcrack, a struggle that Zhu had to deal with everyday as her thick pants prevented her from picking out any natural wedgies, which she did almost instantly once her cheeks were exposed.
“Ugh… finally. That feels better.” Zhu said to herself.
Alex, amazingly, barely reacted to the majestic sight in front of him. Under any other circumstance, he would be slobbering like a dog and stammering like an idiot. But after the hell his nose had been put through, and the knowledge that he was staring at the ass that put him through it, he wasn’t in any mood to ogle at the moment.
“Get ready. This might be my best work yet.” Zhu warned Alex before grabbing the ledge of his car’s roof again. She took in a deep breath and, with all the strength in her… pushed.
BPBPBPBPBBPBPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPPAPTAPTAPTPTAAPTAAPPPPPPPFRFRFRFRFRFRFRFRFPRPRPRPTTT!!!
Zhu unleashed her magnum opus. A monstrous ten second long ass blast that practically pushed Alex’s head back and possibly popped his ears. It was much louder than any of her previous farts thanks to a thick layer of leather not being in the way. It also sounded much brighter and fuller too. Alex also learned that Zhu’s pants acted as some sort of scent filter too, as the heavy smell of ass sweat was increased tenfold with her last fart.
Once it ended, Zhu let out a loud half-moan/half-grunt and leaned forward slightly. She took a few seconds to breathe before she grabbed her pants and attempted to pull them up again. An unsurprisingly difficult task given how fat her ass was. She spent about ten whole seconds wriggling her pants over her butt. She wasn’t embarrassed though, she did this every time she had to put her pants on. Once fully clothed again, Zhu straightened up, smoothed her jacket like nothing happened, and finally took a step away from Alex’s car.
“Looks like the crime rate in this vehicle just dropped to zero.” Hm. Her one-liners still needed some work.
Zhu turned around to look at Alex. He looked like his soul had been sucked out of his body. His eyes and mouth were wide open, and he barely looked like he was breathing. Noticing this, Zhu reached into the car and gave Alex a few light slaps on the cheek to wake him up.
“Hey. You still with me here, speeder boy?” Zhu asked Alex. Thankfully, he finally responded.
“Ah, ah... am... am I dead?” Alex asked as he coughed himself back to reality.
Zhu’s smirk returned as Alex spoke again. He was a complete mess. A pathetic, winded, half-conscious mess. She liked that…
“No, you’re not dead. But you did get yourself out of a hefty fine.” Zhu said.
“Oh. Oh, good…” Alex said as he looked around again. “I... am... am I free to go now?”
Zhu crossed her arms as she stood up straight again. “Well, you managed to survive fifteen whole minutes of my pent-up farts, so… Yes. I believe you’ve served your sentence.” She said before placing her hand on the roof of Alex’s car again. “Just one more thing…”
Zhu leaned into Alex’s window again. “If I catch you speeding ‘round these parts again… Well, I won’t go easy on you.” She stared at Alex with a mischievous smile for several seconds to let her words sit in.
“I… I understand.” Alex said, his voice cracking one last time.
“Good. Drive safe now.” Zhu said before standing up straight again, turning, and finally walking to her cruiser.
Zhu got back to her car and re-entered it. She waited for Alex to start his car and slowly drive away. Once he left, she looked at herself in her visor mirror. Her stomach felt much better now, so that was a plus, but mostly she felt... accomplished. The fact that she was able to weaponize her pent-up farts felt extremely satisfying to her. There was something about using her power as a police officer to show her dominance and superiority over a common criminal that was-
!!!
In an instant, Zhu shook herself out of Bad Cop and looked at herself in the mirror again.
What the hell did she just do?
She probably just broke five laws at once doing that. Using her farts to punish a criminal… What was she thinking?!
…
Why did she still feel good?
Despite realizing how obviously wrong what she just did was, she still felt… somewhat satisfied. She had just gotten away with something extremely scandalous, and (even though she didn’t want to admit it) it was probably the most fun she had as an officer in months. She actually felt… a little proud of herself.
Zhu shook her head again and tried to suppress those thoughts even further. Maybe she should stop playing as Bad Cop before she does something really reprehensible. Besides, farts? How old was she? Twelve?
“Never doing that again. Jesus.” Zhu said to herself as she started her Cruiser and put it in drive.
Well, she hoped to never do that again. So long as Bad Cop didn’t have any other ideas…