The Morning After
by skeezan

The one night stand is a hallowed tradition for many young men and women across this great nation, a tradition young Ralph eagerly experienced the night prior. Having never before gone through such a sacred event Ralph was notably elated and a little discombobulated. It began as it often does; two drunk people met up decided they would like to have sex with each other then went to one of their homes (Ralph's) to fornicate. Ralph recalled the women he took home, an absolute vixen named Hazel who was a kind and generous lover. Then again this was how Ralph's drunk mind perceived the girl and he could have easily be mistaken. These thoughts filled his mind the second he awoke extremely early the morning after. Looking across his bedroom Ralph so no sign of Hazel save for a pair of fairly large discarded panties. He figured Hazel had simply left (as often happens with the one night stand or so Ralph was told) so Ralph went back to sleep content that probably he had sex with a likely attractive woman. The slumber would be short though for in an instant exactly all of his pre-conceived notions of Hazel and one night stands would be destroyed.

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Noxious wind blew onto the left side of Ralph's face leaving a tainted odor in it's wake. The loud fart woke him up instantly allowing Ralph a view of it's perpetrator. Hovering on the left side of the bed (and pointed directly at him) was the single largest posterior Ralph had ever had the displeasure of seeing. The rear filled his entire frame of vision despite not even being that close to him. For this moment all Ralph could see was ass. He hung his mouth agape in shock.

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“Ha! You had your fucking mouth open for that one didn't you?” Ralph heard the crass tone far above the butt that had indeed just farted into his mouth. A response might have been appropriate but with a mouth full of ass gas Ralph was far too preoccupied with the withering sensation he felt in his mouth. Hazel let her stink stay near Ralph for a moment before turning around and blessing him with her sight. Ralph's drunken idea of Hazel was far from the truth, instead of a vixen he saw a tall girl with bulbous breasts and belly wearing one of his t-shirts that was somehow filled with food stains. She leaned to the side a let out a horrendous SBD inches from Ralph's face.

“Ahhh nothing let letting some morning gas out huh? Oh by the way good morning.” Hazel said amidst her gas blast. Ralph finally managed to give a response too confused to make one prior.

“Who...um..who are you exactly?”

“Oh don't tell me you already forgot about me?” Hazel said in what Ralph would come to know as her usual sarcastic nature. “We got drunk last night you said you loved me, then you brought me her and ate me out for like two hours.”

“So wait we didn't.......” Ralph gestured pointing between himself and Hazel.

“No just the pussy eating afterwords you told me I had the best pussy you ever eaten. Fuck you didn't even hesitate when I farted. That takes balls my friend.” Ralph was admittedly heartbroken what he figured was a night of masculine pride turned out to be a night of embarrassing weakness. Sullen Ralph just wanted to ask this girl to leave so he could take a shower and forget he ever did anything to this beast of a women. Hazel had other plans.

“Anyway you can make that up to me later. Right now I gotta take a wicked dump.” With that Hazel was off the bed and out the room stopping just short of the door to giggle out a short squeaker. Ralph sat in his room depressed and still harboring the odor around him.“Okay.” Thought Ralph. “I'll just tell her to leave whenever she gets out of the bathroom.”

TWO HOURS LATER.

“Yo fart face can you come in here!” Ralph heard Hazel's voice for the first time in two hours other than that it had been grunts and....other sounds to horrible to mention. Nevertheless Ralph went to Hazel if only to find out what was taking her so long. Inside the bathroom Ralph was horrified to find a mountain of shit piled onto his toilet and Hazel standing next to it, bottomless.

“Yeah so you should probably get a plunger I've been known to clog shit loads (hehe) of toilets.” Hazel went to walk out before Ralph stopped him.

“Uh-uh I'm not cleaning up your mess.” Hazel turned back to him giving him a look of “really?!”.

“Whatever man it's your crapper you want it reeking of shit then that's on you. Speaking of which could you grab some toilet paper.” Ralph complied if only to get this girl to clean her extremely dirty behind. He tried to hand it to her but she just pushed it away. “No I'm not wiping myself. Guess again fart face.”

“I.....I'm not doing that.....please leave.” Ralph said somewhat traumatized by the combination of wiping a girls bunghole and the colossal pile of shit next to him. It was shaping up to be a rather unpleasant morning.

“Look dude I don't give a fuck if you do it or not I'm just saying that if you want to hang out with my shit stained ass then go ahead. Oh and I can't leave yet. At least not before you put your tongue to work one more time.” Ralph couldn't believe what he was hearing was this girl really trying to pull this? “Also if you call the cops to get me to leave or some shit like that I'll tell everyone you raped me.”

Ralph was stunned. He wanted to doubt she would do this but it wasn't really worth the risk for just wiping a girls ass.

“So ass wiping: Yay or Nay?” Ralph answered with a heavy sigh. “Yay.”

“Wow you catch on quick. Way faster than some of the other guys I've done this to. Like this one guy I literally had to use his face as TP just to get him to do it. By the way you're way better and pussy eating than he was.” Hazel said with a playful wink. “Anyway.” Hazel propt her bare ass in front of Ralph letting the emanating float over to his face. “If I were you I'd get more than one roll though cause this might take a while.”

A while was somewhat of an understatement. For something that should really at most take 30 seconds ended up taking north of fifteen minutes for poor Ralph. As previously mentioned the butt belonging to Hazel was rather large and it seemed her recent dump was rather sloppy. Leftover shit lined the inside of her butt crack causing Ralph to hold her cheeks open then vaguely rub the smears away. During this time Hazel moaned seductively taking great pleasure in forcing this man to wipe the most disgusting part of her body. Ralph finished as quickly as he could going through an entire roll just to get the job finished.

“Man good job.” Hazel said rubbing a finger up and down her crack inspecting it afterwords. “Bone dry.....”

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“Whoops start again.” Hazel let loose a powerful shart that cacked her butt in wet shit once more. Worse yet because Ralph was directly behind her making at least half of that blast hit him in the face. He went to clean it up but Hazal gave him a warning. “I don't know if you wanna do that. The sharts ain't stopping any time soon and the more paper you waste there the less can be used for my beautiful behind.” Ralph doubted this but an extremely forced shart that occurred right when he cleaned his face managed to convince him otherwise. The massive shit stained cheeks were wiped, and wiped, and wiped while Ralph took, wet fart, and wet fart, and wet fart to the face. By the time he was done Hazel's butt was spotless, while his face was dripping in shit.

“Maybe fart face isn't a fitting name for you anymore huh?” Hazel said with a laugh. “Anyway go clean your face I'm gonna raid your fridge for breakfast.” She walked out of the room leaving behind her shorts, panties, a man with a crap on his face, and a mountain of shit still in the toilet. Ralph elected to just have a shower and dealing with the clogged toilet once he got rid of Hazel. It had not been twenty minutes since Hazel left the bathroom yet once he entered his room......well it may as well have been Hazel's room at this point.

The place. Was. Trashed. Random boxes of food and beer cans were casually strewn about, the bed was a mess with a very nude, sweaty, food stained Hazel laying on it (using all of Ralph's pillows to cushion her ass, and of course the permeating stench of gas. Possibly the worst thing about all of this was not the tragedy that had befallen the room but rather that most of the boxes of food were from fast food restaurants (Ralph lived next to a plaza) so Hazel would've have to left the home then come back. And Ralph just took a shower while this happened. He could've been done with this all but now he would have to endure whatever else Hazel had planned. She noticed him and held out an empty beer can towards him.

“Hey fetch me another one of these would yah?” Ralph sullenly stared at Hazel. “What these beer farts aren't gonna work without beer.” Paradoxically Hazel blasted one of these exactly right after she finished this statement.

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The bubbling fart gave way to the worst aroma Ralph had smelt all day. Strong and eggy it encompassed the entire room and made him want to faint.“Oooooooo these are getting good go get me another beer than I'll let you eat me out.”

“Then you'll leave!” Ralph said more excited about life than he had every been.

“Yeah sure.”

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“But not if I'm packing weak gas like that. Get to it!” With a swift punt of her leg Hazel kicked Ralph out of his own room. A bit later Ralph came back with a six pack figuring that would be more than enough to quell this beast of a women's desires. Hazel grabbed the whole pack and down each of them in thirty seconds flat finishing her display with a mighty burp.

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“Fuck me that was good. Okay go get some more.” This pattern continued a few more times until no more beer was left in the house. Hazel was preparing for Ralph in the worst way possible. Shaking her large gut Ralph sat next to his own bed begging for whatever was about to happen to be over quickly. “Alright let's see if the beer and breakfast burrito worked their magic.”

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“Yup I'd say that worked.” Hazel got out of the bed freeing the monster fart to the open air. “Go lie down......Oh and make sure you lay down where I was sitting.” Ralph was very hesitant to do this since the bed now had two large globular sweat stains but still went along with it if only to be done with Hazel. Placing his head there released a long squelching sound a fitting combination to the cloud of gas that permeated this spot. “You know shit face, I have a confession to make. I prefer something other than carpet munching right now. Don't worry though all you have to do is scream.”

The moment of confusion was soon replaced with terror as once more Hazel's ass filled Ralph's gaze except this time it was descending and fast. She squashed Ralph's entire upper body with just her butt and even went so fart as to grind herself into him, squishing and squishing until he could work as a comfortable seat. The sickening squelchy feeling of moist sweat and leftover shit filled the confines of the end and likewise were rubbed onto Ralph.

“Yeah had some more sharts after the asswiping so now my booty is back to it's swampy glory hehehehehe. Hope you can breath down there.” Ralph tried but the atmosphere of was far to thick. It also didn't help that Hazel decided at that point to let out an onslaught of gas. Ralph screamed and screamed while moist farts surrounded him.

“Fuck me I love it when they scream. Look you have fun down there oh and if you feel a sudden urge to lick go right ahead if not well.” Hazel let out another thunderous gas blast causing Ralph once more to push and scream for freedom. “I think your howls will do well enough.” Hazel relaxed onto Ralph putting her full weight on his head. He sunk deep into the mattress Hazel's rear pushing him until he couldn't go down anymore. Then just as it seemed it couldn't get worse. Ralph heard Hazel snoring. Whimpering Ralph came to accept the fact that he would stay under her for the time being as a small SBD filled his limited airspace.

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