Shakira's Ass Sniffer

by Neilolm

Shakira. She of Colombian-Lebanese descent, hot Latina looks and recently blonde hair. She also had a killer body and, especially, a killer ass. Always encased in either leather or Spandex, it always moved as if it was a totally separate entity. It was also a smelly ass as, while not as publicly known as, say Jenny McCarthy, Sarah McLachlan or Tyra Banks, Shakira was a farter. At the end of each show, her band and singers would have to use oxygen masks to get air while the stage was fumigated.

Neil was a casual fan of Shakira for over a year and liked her music. He also had a bit of a crush on her, although unlike others, he was not exactly obsessed with her. He did have her CD "Laundry Service", as well as one or two Spanish CDs, and a poster on his bedroom door. One day, he received a letter informing him that he was the owner of a "Lucky Ticket" which allowed him backstage after Shakira's next show. Neil looked over the ticket approvingly.

"Very cool," Neil smiled to himself. "I can't wait."

The show was an awesome, two hour-plus fiesta with little Miss Ass Shaker doing her thing with her Spandex-encased ass shaking it and the crowd eating it up. After the show, Neil went backstage and showed his ticket to the bodyguard outside Shakira's dressing room. The ex-football player nodded and allowed him to enter. Shakira was reclining on a sofa with a bottle of water in her hand, dressed in a white tank and reddish-brown Spandex tights with black lace fringe. A smiled creased her lovely features as she took a gulp of water.

"Welcome," She greeted. Her voice was soft and low with a noticeable accent. "I take it you are Neil."

"I am," Neil replied. "Great show, by the way."

"Gracias. May I see ticket, por favore?"

"Sure thing." Neil obliged and handed it over.

"Congratulations. You get to be part of my staff for rest of tour."

"Very nice. What do I do?"

FRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!!! ROOOOOAARRRTTT!! Two rather swampy-odored farts serenaded Neil as Shakira giggled, waving her hand in front of her ass. Neil raised an amused eyebrow, yet he obviously did not seem to object too strongly.

"Mi perdon. I do that a lot. Especially onstage."

"Hey. Some things can't be helped. It actually smells kind of nice."

"Gracias. What do you do? You are, how you say, 'bum sniffer'?"

"You want me to sniff your ass?"

"Si. You will be paid well and get to travel with me."

Neil thought about it and how millions of men would have literally killed to be in his position. He would get to travel the world, see some exotic places and would have money in his pocket. Plus, he would more than likely hook up with some very hot, sweet senoritas and get some serious booty call. All it required was to sniff Shakira's hot, smelly ass every night after the show. Neil thought about it for all of around twenty seconds before nodding and putting out his hand.

"Why not? Got yourself a deal, love."

"Bueno." Shakira's smiled widened joyfully. "Why not start now?"

Shakira walked over and embraced him tightly, planting her lips full on his in a passionate kiss. She then gently lowered him to his knees and turned around so her ass was right in his face, those lovely Spandex-covered cheeks pressed against his nose. FAAARRRAAAPPTTT!!! OOAARRTTPPP!!! The odor soaked through the Spandex and buried itself deep into Neil's nostrils as Shakira gently gyrated and shook against his face.

"Smell good, si?"

"Si," Neil grinned broadly. "Smell real good."

The "initiation" finished a half an hour later with Shakira gracing Neil with the best blowjob he had ever received in his entire life. Not only was the Colombian songbird's ass deadly, but her mouth was as well as she gently played with and teased Neil's member a full half-hour to forty-five minutes before allowing him to climax, all while kneeling on his face and gyrating her smelly bottom against his nose as it bombed away. Between the farts and the blowjob, Neil decided that it was definitely worth the humiliation. The next night in Miami, Shakira was doing her thing while Neil watched from the side of the stage, smiling as the musicians made poor attempts to hide that the stench was killing them. One of the security guards smiled as he punched Neil's arm good-naturedly.

"You lucky bastard," He chuckled. "You know how many poor shits would KILL to be you?"

"Oh, well." Neil shrugged. "I guess some guys got it."

Shakira and company took their bows and walked off the stage, the musicians running to find the nearest oxygen tanks. Neil fell in next to his hot blonde employer, winking at a few chuckling faces. The two walked into Shakira's dressing room and Neil immediately lay on the sofa, making himself comfortable, as Shakira knelt on top of him and gently lowered his pants and underwear. Neil softly licked the singer's Spandex-encased bottom, eliciting a slight giggle of appreciation from her. ROOOOOPPPAARRRRTT!! A powerful baritone toot greeted Neil's nose as he continued to tongue Shakira's ass, the odor actually beginning to turn him on. FWEEEEUUUUPPPEERRRRTTT!! UUUUAARRRROOOPP!!! The bombs kept exploding and the stench rose in intensity, causing a greenish cloud to permeate the room. Shakira played with Neil's stiff member, softly stroking his meat while gently licking and sucking it. His moans of pleasure were muffled by her bottom smothering his face and serenading him.

"I had good show tonight," Shakira purred. "Good show mean I reward you for being good employee. Sniff, mi querida Bum Sniffer. Get good whiff of my fart."

Neil gladly got "good whiff" of the Colombian's farts. Every last sweet, hot, pungent one of them. The tour them took them to Mexico where there was a party celebrating a local radio show's tenth anniversary. There were plenty of hot senoritas for Neil to discreetly gawk at. Some even talked to him, their fluency in English ranging from so-so to almost perfect. Shakira was talking to Thalia about getting Neil as her Ass Licker through a contest and how wonderful he was. Neil glanced over and smiled wickedly, fantasies about a menage-a-tois playing in his mind. They walked over with playful smiles as Mrs. Tommy Mattola wrapped a friendly arm around Neil, kissing his cheek.

"Bueno," She purred. Her English was more fluent, though her accent was endearing. "Are you enjoying the party, Neil?"

"Yes, I am," Neil replied.

"Shakira tells me you are her 'bum sniffer'?"

"Yes. It's actually quite pleasant."

"I see." Thalia's eyes glimmered wickedly. "Do you mind if she shares you with me?"

"Not at all. If the hubby has no objections."

"Tomas is not here, but I do not think he would object."

"In that case, ladies. I am entirely at your service. Shall we?"

With that, Neil and the two singers discreetly left the party and walked up to the hotel bedroom where Thalia was staying. He made himself comfortable as Thalia and Shakira removed their shoes and climbed onto the bed, Thalia kneeling on Neil's face and Shakira kneeling right below his crotch. The Colombian began playing with Neil's member as The "Mexican Madonna" ground her ass against his much-abused face. RUUUUFFRRRRIIIPPP!!! OOORRRAAARRTTTT!!! Thalia's bottom tooted very sweetly, yet the gas was a surprisingly pleasant combination of strawberries and cabbage. RIRRPPTTTT!! Another toot tickled Neil's nose as he moaned plesurably at being doubly aroused. Half-an-hour later, the two singers switched places with Shakira planting her Spandex ass on Neil's face and Thalia playing with an already stiffened member. Mrs. Mottola's tongue gently caressed Neil's genitalia and played with his stiff as Shakira's bottom tooted away. FROOOPPP!! RAPPARRRRTTT!!! UUFFFAARRGGG!!! Bomb after bomb exploded, the odor increasing in intensity to almost melting the-wallpaper-off status, as the ladies enjoyed "partying" with Shakira's "ass sniffer". They giggled while chatting in Spanish as they let Neil up.

"That was fun," Neil smiled. "We should do that again."

"Si," Shakira grinned. "That was good time."

"I can see why Shakira picked you." Thalia purred. "You are a good sniffer."

"Thanks." Neil winked. "The tongue was a bonus."

"I was talking to Shakira just now and she said that as soon as her tour was over, she would let me borrow you for a while. If you don't object."

"Hell, no. The more the merrier."

The two singers merely smiled as they kissed Neil and treated him to one more double-barreled blast.

THE END