The city of El Dorado was a sight to behold even on the greyest and dreariest of days. Now, with the glorious midday sun shining down upon it, glimmering brilliantly off of its gilded pyramids and towers and reflecting off the crystal blue waters below, it could only be described as a paradise.

The room at the top of the city’s largest and grandest pyramid was somehow even more splendid. With its rich tapestries, painstakingly detailed and intricate carvings, and breath-taking view (not to mention the massive piles of gold), it truly was a room fit for a god.

Or in Tulio’s case, a conman pretending to be one.

“Aahhh, this is the life!” He sighed, relaxing into a pile of soft, velvety cushions and taking a bite of some unknown yet delicious fruit. In El Dorado he had obtained everything he had ever desired; wealth, respect, power… “And the company’s not bad, either,” he thought, glancing at the beautiful woman he was sat beside.

“Mmm, tell me again about your “modern world”, Tulio,” Chel purred. The El Dorado native was extremely attractive. She had long, straight black hair, brown eyes and pinkish-red lips. Her curvy figure was that of an hourglass shape, and she wore very little clothing to cover it – only a small crop-top and a loincloth covered her bronze skin. She was also the only person in the city that knew he wasn’t really a god.

“Honestly, Chel, I don’t know why you’re so interested in leaving.” He replied. “We have everything we need right here!”

“Because I want to see the world! I want to go to balls, eat fancy meals, go to the “theatre”… All the things you told me rich people do!”

“Well, I would much rather stay here and keep being worshipped. And besides, I’m not sure you’re cut out for a life of high society.”

She sat up, pouting. “And why is that?”

“Oops.” “Oh, uh… it’s a compliment, trust me,” he backpedalled. “To fit in with those kind of aristocrats, you need to be stuck-up, self-important, obsessed with your own status. You have to be able to put on a certain… air, I guess.”

“Air, huh? I can do that!”

She shifted her weight, leaning against him and lifting her right leg. Tulio watched, raising an eyebrow, and was about to ask what she was doing when he heard a faint noise break the silence.

Prrt

“Ahh. Air, see?” Chel laughed.

He rolled his eyes, smiling in spite of himself. But before he could tell her that civilized women generally did not make fart jokes, the pair were interrupted by a sudden, furious roar from across the room.

“CHEL!” The cities’ head priest and interpreter to the gods was stood in the doorway, practically shaking with rage. He stormed over toward them, bowing respectfully to Tulio before rounding on Chel with fury in his eyes. “Have you lost your mind?! Doing something so disgraceful in the presence of a god!”

“Ah… ha ha, w-wait, I was just –”

“Be silent, blasphemer!” The priest grabbed her roughly by the wrist and yanked her to her feet, bowing again to Tulio. “I apologize most humbly, my Lord. I shall see to it that this woman is sacrificed in your honour, so that you might forgive us this embarrassing offence!”

It was all happening so fast. Tulio watched dumbstruck as the priest began dragging Chel away, ignoring her frantic explanations. She looked back at him with wide eyes, pleading silently for help. “Sacrifice?!” He panicked. “I’ve got to do something, quick!”

“Ah – wait, my good man!” He called out. He stood, puffing out his chest and attempting his most godly voice. “I do not wish to see Chel harmed!”

“You are a most kind and merciful god, Lord Tulio, but this incident cannot go unpunished. She has tainted your honour with her disgusting act!”

“Well – that is true, but – but –” His mind raced. “But I commanded her to do it!”

The priest paused and turned back to face him, clearly confused. “…forgive me, but… why?”

“Because – because, I like it!” As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted them. He knew it sounded ridiculous, and he could see Chel facepalming from behind the priest. But it was already too late – he forged on, committed. “Yes, it may seem strange to mere mortals. But to gods like myself, the smell of a beautiful woman’s flatulence is the most enjoyable scent imaginable! So you see, she must not be sacrificed!”

The priest stared at him for a moment, lost for words. Then he turned slowly to Chel, who looked up at him and attempted her most innocent, hopeful smile. For a second nobody said a word, and Tulio held his breath, wondering if the jig was up. But finally, the priest released his grip on Chel’s wrist and fell to his knees, prostrating himself in apology.

“Forgive me, my Lord!” He cried, bowing his head. “You are undeserving of as foolish a servant as I!”

“W-well, that’s alright!” Tulio sighed quietly with relief. “We all make mistakes, after all. No need to worry!”

“No, I am deeply ashamed! Not only have I failed to interpret your will, I have disturbed you in the middle of your leisure… Chel! Continue pleasing our god, as you were!”

“I – hm?” The pair looked at each other, Chel unable to keep a small smirk from her face. “No no no, that really isn’t necessary…”

“Please, do not let me interrupt you any further!”

“He’s right, “my Lord”.” Chel took the initiative, approaching slowly and gently pushing Tulio back onto the pile of cushions. “Keeping the gods happy should be prioritised over all else, isn’t that right?”

“Uhh… well, I suppose…” He watched as Chel smiled seductively at him, then turned to bring him face to face with her enormous ass. He stared transfixed at it as she began to dance, the steady swaying of her hips almost hypnotizing; he was so enthralled that he forgot what was coming next.

Pfffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart

The fart was nothing like before. It was longer, far louder, and powerful enough that it blew aside her loincloth, giving him a brief glimpse right up her crack. And the smell… it was absolutely rancid! Even the priest was wrinkling his nose at the small whiff he got from across the room. He couldn’t believe such a beautiful woman could produce such an awful stench!

And the worst part was, he had to pretend he liked it! It wasn’t enough just to sit there; to keep up the ruse, he forced himself to lean in and take several over-the-top sniffs, acting like he couldn’t get enough of the scent even as it threatened to make him vomit.

“Mmm, absolutely delicious.” He smiled at the two of them through gritted teeth. “Thank you, Chel, very satisfying. Now, Head Priest, did you need something from me?”

“Ah – yes, my Lord!” The man had almost forgotten the reason for his visit. “I wanted to tell you that we will be holding a grand feast later today, in celebration of your many virtues! Do you think you might bless us with your attendance?”

“Yes, yes, of course! I look forward to it.” Tulio clapped him on the back, attempting to steer him toward the exit. The sooner he left, the sooner he could gag. “If that’s all, would you mind giving us some privacy?”

“Certainly! I apologise again, Lord Tulio – I shall restore my honour to you with a feast fit even for a god!”

With that the man bowed once more and turned to leave, failing to notice Tulio glaring at Chel, who was stifling a laugh with her hand over her mouth. He walked away, consumed by regret for his own ignorance, and determination that he not make the same mistake again.

“To think that the gods would have such a taste…” He muttered quietly to himself. “I must be certain to accommodate it in the future.” He smiled thoughtfully, already planning a few changes to the afternoon feast. “If this is what Lord Tulio desires, I will ensure that he gets it!"

*

“Come on, you’re not still upset about before?”

“Oh, you mean you farting in my face? Yes actually, I am still upset about that.”

Chel rolled her eyes at Tulio as they walked toward the city centre, where the feast was to be held. The pair had been bickering almost the entire way. Chel still seemed to think the whole situation was funny, while Tulio was disgusted – even now, hours later, he felt like he could still smell her putrid gas in his nose.

“How is it my fault?! It was your dumb idea, remember? I was just going along with it!”

“Well, you seemed to be enjoying playing your part a little too much!” He sighed. “Whatever, at least nobody ended up getting sacrificed. Let’s just forget about it, alright? All we need to do now is relax and enjoy the feast.”

They arrived at the main square to raucous applause and cheering, as the city locals enthusiastically greeted their “god”. Tulio smiled and waved at the teeming masses, shaking hands and patting heads as they made their way through the crowd and up to a special table that had been prepared just for him.

“My Lord! My Lord!” The head priest called out as they approached, rushing toward him.

“Ugh, this guy again.” Tulio thought, watching him bow for what had to be the thirtieth time today. “Yes, hello! Very nice feast you’ve put together here, I feel very honoured.”

“Thank you, Lord Tulio, but the best is yet to come! Please, follow me.”

The priest led them up the length of the table, passing by numerous delicious-looking dishes; the finest food and drink in the city lay spread before them on gleaming golden plates, the scent alone enough to make Tulio’s mouth water. He couldn’t wait to dig in.

“Here we are, my Lord!”

They had arrived at an impressive looking throne set with several plump purple cushions, positioned at the middle of the table before all the richest and most expensive foods. “Excellent work, Head Priest! Then I’ll take my seat, and –”

“Apologies, my Lord, but this is not for you. Chel, over here!” The priest guided her forward, pointing to the throne. “Now Lord Tulio, if you will just rest your head on these cushions, Chel can take her place on your face.”

Tulio felt his heart begin to sink. “Ahh… she’s going to sit where?”

“I’ve prepared this especially for you!” He beamed. “These are not only the most delicious meals El Dorado can provide, they are also some of the most gas-inducing! Chel will be farting within minutes of her first bite, and you’ll be in the perfect position to enjoy it!”

“I – I see. How… thoughtful.” He was frantically trying to think of a way out, but nothing came to mind. He glanced at Chel, who just shrugged unhelpfully, that irritating smirk returned to her face. He needed to make a decision fast. The longer he hesitated, the more suspicious he would look.

Finally, he gave up and got into position with his head face up on the throne. “No point delaying the inevitable,” he sighed internally. “Let’s just get this over with.”

He could hear the priest babbling animatedly somewhere off to the side, but Tulio’s real concern was Chel. She was standing directly over him, looking down with a mixed expression of amusement and excitement. “She is definitely enjoying this far too much.” He glared at her.

“Don’t worry – I’ll go easy on you!” She whispered to him, winking, then turned to sit down. He watched nervously as her already massive rear grew larger and larger, until it paused, hovering just an inch above his head. Then suddenly she reached back and flipped her loincloth out the way, exposing her naked ass crack!

“Hey –!” He started, alarmed, but that was as far as he got. She sat down fully, burying him between her cheeks with nothing to help filter the raunchy smell; Chel did wash, but only as well as one could in a lost city without soaps or perfumes, and her ass had a distinctly earthy aroma that made his eyes water. It was one of the strongest and most unpleasant smells his nose had ever experienced.

Then she farted.

Brrrrrrrrrappppppppppp

Tulio’s eyes widened as a plume of hot wind flooded his nostrils, and the already vile smell suddenly became 10x worse. He gagged and jerked his head to the side – which did little to help him avoid the stink – but managed to resist the urge to try and buck Chel off. He had to act like he enjoyed what she was doing, and that meant lying still and taking it all.

“Ahem. Now then, Chel…” The priest said, above. He had backed up a few paces, and seemed to be suppressing a cough. “I, ah… I know Lord Tulio likes his privacy. If I leave to attend to other matters, can I entrust you to keep him happy?”

She smirked. He clearly didn’t want to keep standing next to her, in the “blast zone”, while she was entertaining the god. “Not that I blame him. That last one was pretty rank!”

“Oh, absolutely! I’ll give him plenty to enjoy,” she replied with a warm smile. The priest nodded, and walked away as quickly as he could while still looking dignified. Finally, Chel was left in peace; with a wide spread of delicious food before her, and an unwilling fart receptacle beneath.

“Hehe, it all looks so amazing! Ahh, I do feel a little bad, though.” While she was dining on world-class food and drink, Tulio would have nothing to eat but her farts! “Ohh, he can handle a little bit of gas! Besides, this was his idea in the first place, he can’t complain.”

“God, it stinks so bad!” Tulio complained. Chel’s first fart was still punishing his nose, in spite of the vast amount he’d already inhaled. He decided to try breathing through his mouth to avoid some of the stench.

Pppppppppppppprrrrrrrp

That turned out to be a mistake. The second he opened his mouth, Chel ripped another spicy fart right inside it; the gas coated his entire tongue with the taste of beans and meat before rushing to the back of his throat and causing him to swallow it. “Bleggh!” He gagged. “For gods sake, Chel! I thought you were going eas-”

Gggffffbbllllllttttttttt

He was interrupted by another rank blast, only seconds after her last. “You’ve got to be kiddin-”

PffffffffffffffrrrrrbBBBBBBB

“…”

SsssBRRRRRRRRRAPPP

“What the hell is happening?!” Tulio thought, not wanting to risk opening his mouth again. “Why is she suddenly farting so much more?” His eyes widened, as he made a horrible realisation. “Oh no… the food!”

“Yikes, that priest wasn’t kidding about the gas-inducing part,” Chel sighed, rubbing her stomach. After only a few bites, the farts seemed to just be flowing out of her – and not only that, they seemed to be getting stronger. She could feel Tulio’s writhing beneath her increase as he reacted to the abominable stench.

“Aww, poor little god!” She chuckled as she nibbled on some rich cheese. She couldn’t help enjoying herself a little; it was an odd feeling, the most powerful man in the city trapped powerless beneath her. “Just hang in there a while longer, Tulio. I’ve almost finished my starters!”

It was another 15 minutes before she was finished eating, but Tulio’s torment didn’t end there. Chel sat back in the throne, sighing lazily and patting her full stomach, and simply relaxed as her booty unleashed an unholy storm of wretched gas into her seat.

Finally, after almost an hour, she seemed to be running out of steam. Noticing her, the head priest approached the table cautiously, keeping as much distance as he could – but even so the stink was atrocious. He couldn’t imagine how much worse it must be right next to the source.

“The gods are truly strong, and mysterious…” He muttered to himself. “Ahem. Well then, Chel? Have you given our god all that you can?”

“Hmm, just one second.”

Ffffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttttttt

She pushed hard to give Tulio one last steamy, hissing fart that burned a little coming out. He had largely stopped struggling by this point, weakened after inhaling so much gas – but this final blast was so rotten it seemed to give him new life, and she giggled as she felt his pained wriggling renew.

“Yep, all done!” At long last, Tulio was freed from his fleshy prison. Chel finally rose off of him, sighing and stretching her legs, while he gasped for breath and did his best not to slump to the floor and/or vomit – he still had to try to look godly. With fart fumes still leaking from his nose, he got shakily to his feet and turned to face the priest.

“A-are you pleased, my Lord?” He asked nervously. “Was it smelly enough for you?”

Tulio stumbled forward, putting a hand on the man’s shoulder. “…More than you could imagine.” Catching a sudden aftertaste of rotten egg and meat on his tongue, he turned away before the priest could see his face turn green.

“Excellent! I hope that this success can erase some of the shame of my earlier foolishness.” He paused for a moment. “If you would like, my lord… I have also prepared a private room for you to relax and rest in – not that you need to, I had just thought that after the feast –”

“Yes, yes! That sounds great, let’s do that.” Tulio interrupted him. “That is the first good idea he’s ever had. I’m exhausted.”

“Wonderful! Then please, follow me.” The priest turned and began to lead him away, into the city’s great pyramid. As he walked Chel filed in alongside him, and the pair hung back to create some distance; once they were out of earshot, Tulio faced her with an expression of pure rage.

“…What?” She asked, innocently.

“What the hell was that, Chel?!” He whispered angrily. “I thought I was gonna die back there! What happened to “going easy”?!”

“Well, I had to put on a bit of a show! I didn’t want that priest getting all mad and sacrificial again.” She huffed. “Besides, I think I’ve done you a bit of a favour.”

“…I cannot wait to hear this.”

“Everyone in this city treats you like a god. They build you statues, sing your praises, worship the very ground you walk on – anyone would get a big head being constantly adored like that! But being forced to sniff my stinky farts helped humble you a little bit, right? So really you should be thanking me.”

He stared at her blankly. “I… can’t even deal with you right now.” He sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes which still stung slightly from her spicy gas. “Whatever. All I want now is to lie down and relax, and forget this ever happened. I’ve had enough farts to last the rest of my –”

He stopped himself, surprised. They had arrived at the room, which did indeed look very comfortable, with plenty of cushions, quilts and velvet blankets – and for some reason, about a dozen beautiful scantily-clad women. Ordinarily they would make a very appealing sight, but for some reason, Tulio had a bad feeling about them.

“Your private room, my Lord!” The priest gestured proudly. “I’ve taken the liberty of telling these women about your unconventional desires. They’ve come directly from the feast, and are all very eager to please you!”

Tulio’s mouth dropped in horror. An entire harem of gassy girls – all waiting just to “serve” him?!

“N-no, I don’t think –” He started, panicking. He had to do something! He had to escape this situation!

“Don’t be shy, Lord Tulio!” Said one of the women, grabbing his wrist and pulling him toward her. “I know just what you like.”

“No, let me serve you first, Lord Tulio!” Another chimed in. “Mine are the smelliest.”

“I want to go first!”

“No, me!”

“Ah – w-wait a moment –” Tulio stammered as he was pulled off his feet and onto the bed, surrounded by gorgeous smiling faces and voluptuous bodies. Hands reached out to hold him down and big, curvy asses began to descend upon him.

“Now, then! I will leave you to your privacy, my Lord. Worry not! I shall inform the guards that you are not to be disturbed for the next few hours!” With that, the priest left. Tulio turned to Chel, his last hope for rescue, who was hanging back by the entrance.

“Chel!” He mouthed desperately as a pair of thick thighs closed in around his head. “…Please!”

“…Good luck!” She laughed. “And don’t worry – by the time you’re done, I’ll be plenty fuelled up for our next session!” She blew him a kiss, before leaving and closing the door behind her.

She hummed happily to herself as she walked away. “Oh well, nothing I can do.” She shrugged. Behind her, she could hear the sound of the first few farts beginning to blast; Tulio’s torture was only just beginning.

“I wonder how much longer he’ll want to stay in El Dorado after this?” She smiled. “I think I’ll be going to see the world after all!”