Rita the Farter
by SellCon2762

I had never smelled this before, the stench running up my nostrils and into my body was without a doubt the strongest I’ve ever experienced. Even in my short life of smelling toilets, spoiled food, farms with the fertilizer on full blast and weeks-old garbage I think this stench trumped them all, and that frightened me. I could hear the sound of some video game playing in the background as my eyes continued to flicker back and forth from the gas’s strong power that made me tear uncontrollable as it tried to counter the effects of the gas. The smell was overpowering, like a cheese that had been left to decay while mixed in with spoiled milk and crap. It was everywhere in the room, it hung like a ghastly fog unlike any I had ever expected. It was flatulence, a very strong and healthy dosage of flatulence and it was from a girl….an 11-year old girl. Laughing in the distance as she felt another puff of silent but deadly gas leave her ass, this 11-year old girl felt proud of her creation and why not, they were some, if not the biggest farts ever released by a human. Yes, this 11-year old girl was a farter, but not just any farter, Rita the Farter.

Perhaps I should go back a few days to what brought me into Rita’s bedroom and into what was going to be an eye-opening experience for me. It had to do with a friend of mine named Brian. About the same age as me, four years older than Rita, he would go on about his cousin’s farts. Secretly he knew I had a thing for farts, especially from girls, but his stories were simply too good to be true, they had to be. Apparently this had all started just over a year ago when Rita had turned ten years old. Up to that point, she had held her gas back from her cousin, the same that she does with people she don’t interact with as much. That day, her tenth birthday, that all changed. She let loose a relatively decent-sized fart for a girl her age, lasting for several seconds and stinking up her bedroom with a potent stench that was unlike anything ever experienced for Brian, and then he passed out. He claims that he has an allergic reaction to her gas, I personally don’t believe him. But, he does have this reaction to her gas every time they meet, he does pass out and sometimes for a decent amount of time. I don’t necessarily think it’s allergies, but simply a boy who couldn’t handle a young girl’s gas, gas that smells way too much for the person releasing it and a boy who couldn’t take in the gas. But given how her own parents and sisters sometimes pass out to the gas it supported my theory.

The genesis of my fateful trip to a nostril full of Rita’s potent gas began with a story Brian was telling me soon after the girl’s 11th birthday. He told me that she had drunken and entire gallon of milk that day, which didn’t help with her supposed lactose intolerance. This created the fuel for her to blast forth ten farts on top of his face which had knocked him out for 30 minutes. Even with the fan running in the room they were in the gas hung around for that long. I’ll admit that the thought of a girl’s gas hanging around for that long was beyond belief and absolutely incredible if true, as Brian would sometimes play me against my fetish, but he was more insistent this time that his adventures with Rita were sincere. My own fetish began with my older sister as I recall, she would get bad bouts of gas and smell up my room sometimes. Of our family I think my sister was the worse, even smellier than my dad. It was from these experiences that I knew that a female’s farts were smellier than a male’s. Of course, with her now in college I had fewer opportunities to experience her gas and thus a shortage was created. Brian was perhaps the only person who knew of my inner desires and we wanted to see if I could help. I kept on hounding him about his gas and his passing out and his so-called “allergies.”

“How do I pass out to her gas and no one else’s? I have to be allergic.” Brian insisted.

“You just have a bad reaction to them. You said it yourself, you just pass out, you can’t handle the smell, which still says something about her gas if it causes you to pass out the moment you smell it. You don’t tell me about any other allergic reaction. This Rita, if she even exists, must just have a really bad stomach that can produce inhuman amounts of gas or something.” I said not yet thinking about what I was saying. What was I saying anyways, I was thinking now with my heart pounding of the mere thought of smelling this. If any of Brian’s stories were true, her gas was truly the worst out there.

Every now and then he would continue the stories for the next couple of months up until the summer where he paid another visit and unleashed yet another story about Rita’s gas.

“A few days ago, Rita decided to visit me. Then, out of completely nowhere, she unleashed a silent but deadly fart and bam! I was out, just like that. Once I was gone, she began to play some video games as she let loose 10 farts that smelled way worse than anything I ever smelled before. They made skunk gas smell like roses by comparison. They had some strong hang time too. I didn't wake up until about 30 minutes after she stopped farting. It took that long for the smell to vanish, even with the fan on. I’m telling you dude…Rita’s gas is going to kill me someday, if she ever eats beans I’m a dead man!” He said with the voice that was halfway between deadly serious and pulling my tail. It finally perked my interest. I had seen plenty of stuff and heard stories like this and many times they were false. A few could be true, but which ones and where. Even if it turned out to be a dud, I had to find out. I asked Brian where his cousin had lived. To spare him from passing out I asked if I could get a demonstration from his cousin by myself. He went back home and contacted his cousin. My heart pounded even more as I awaited his answer for the three hours that had passed until I got the phone call, he recalled his information.

“She’s okay with the idea, I’ll give you the address and she said you can visit next Saturday. I told her about your…fascination with farts and your lack of belief of her…powers. She said she’s going to load up on beans and milk and fart so much you’ll pass out. But she said she’ll do all of this on one condition.” Brian explained over the phone.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“I told her about some of those stories you’ve written in the past, those fantasy stories of yours. She wants you to write a story about her farting.”

“What? I’ve never written a story about….farting before.”

“Well, she wants a story about her farting on my face and causing me to pass out; she’s a bit diabolical when it comes to me. If you do that then she’ll invite you. After the visit you’ll have two months to write the story or else she will threaten to kill me with her gas. So….for my sake, are those terms acceptable?”

I had to think it over for a minute. I did write stories, but nothing about farting up to this point. My subject matters were completely different from the tales of a girl farting on her cousin’s face. But all that gas I had sniffed from my sister through the years and the mere possibility of whiffing something like this were becoming too hard to pass up. I told Brian yes to the terms and prepared myself that week for what could possibly be an encounter to change my life.

Rita had already made the arrangements when I arrived at their typical suburban style dwelling about three miles from my own. My first sign of something being up was with one of Rita’s older sisters, a teenager of at least driving age with long brown head and about my height, rushing outdoors after her similar-aged boyfriend. He was coughing a little as the female was trying to comfort him.

“How do you guys survive in there?” He said as he coughed up a storm before lowering his head toward the ground with his hands on his knees. He took in several breaths as his girlfriend patted his back.

“We cope….but normally she keeps it in her room. On some days she lets some of it out and well….you saw what happened.”

“Your sister is a terrorist!” He proclaimed as I was quick on the meaning. They were obviously talking about her gas and if he claimed that Rita was producing something akin to biological warfare then I was surly in for a great evening. I just didn’t know yet just how bad the gas truly was.

“Tell me about it.” Her sister replied as they started walking down the sidewalk.

“It’s a miracle her gas hasn’t killed anyone yet.” The boyfriend said as the voice trailed off as the two walked over to his vehicle for the two to head out. I knocked on the closed front door and waited for her mother to open it. Opening up the door a six-foot tall woman with blond hair greeted me and allowed me in. Rita had come up with some excuse that I was helping her with something from school and that I was a friend of Brian. We chatted for a few minutes as her mother seemed a bit surprised to see someone visit Rita in her current “state.” She directed to the upstairs portion of the house and led me to the hallway and wished me luck.

“Luck? Why?”

“Hasn’t Brian told you about Rita….she’s wearing that skull shirt and eating….beans.” The mother shuddered a little as I looked up toward the ceiling for a brief second to try to “guess” what she was referring too. But the mother figured that I was a strong enough man to take in power of the stench that was about to be unleashed upon me. I knocked on the door and hear a young girl’s voice state enter in that cute sort of way that made it seem like she was sweet and innocent. I entered her bedroom and the air changed immediately from the typical nonchalant hallway stench to something out of this world. That was when I first smelled Rita’s gas and man was it impressive.

I had smelled a dead skunk on the side of the roadway and I had smelled dog farts before, this was worse than those. It hung over the air with a pungency that was unbelievable and made me forget about my sister’s gas immediately. It was already clinging to my clothes like cigarette smoke and made me gag for a moment before I had collected myself and started to breathe in the stench. Brian had used the smell of a canine’s fart to help describe the smell and I’ll admit that it was pretty close to that. A raw smell of crap and rotten eggs that was infused with the stingiest whiff of sulfur I had ever encountered.

The air felt a little warmer and the breathing was a bit more labored on my part as I slowly looked around the girl, the standard girl of an 11-year old girl and trying to make sense of the foul smell that was contained within it. This was a fart smell, the smell of a girl’s bout of silent but deadly gas while focusing on the video game she was playing. I had entered her world now and in her world, her gas makes the rules and controls the atmosphere. And once I laid my eyes upon the 4’4 girl with bleach blond hair and a black shirt sitting on the edge of the bed I rendered myself a slave to her world. Everything was wrong with this image, but the smell was so strong.

“Come in already…and close the door quickly.” Rita said as I walked away from the doorframe and into the bedroom, closing the door behind me. I walked over toward the edge of the bed as Rita sat there in concentration as she played a video game. Her character on the game stood there in what seemed like an open cavern of some sort while Rita’s eyes started to fixate itself on the screen. There was a moment of silence that hushed the both of us as I wondered what she was doing. And then I started to understand the true definition of the term: Silent But Deadly.

The smell started to overwhelm my senses as I soon realized that the foul stench I experienced upon entering the room was only a brief introduction to the stronger sensation of flatulence that was now overwrapping my mind. This smell was five times stronger and smellier than that initial burst of dog fart-smelling gas and now I started to understand Rita’s power, it was real and undeniable, her farts were deadly. Although there was no color to the gas, my mind could see a fake fog of truly horrific girly gas hang over the room as Rita continued to play her video game as if there was nothing wrong with the monster she had unleashed. In all, it was a 20-second fart that pushed deep into the sheets of her bed, already buffering the room was a truly apocalyptic stench of doom, that the open air would have carried in its full fury and instead allowed only an insanely smelly burst of gas fill the room. This 11-year old was releasing a fart more deadly than from a dozen men after Mexican food. And when I saw the three cans of beans on the floor, with another open at her side and a glass of half-drunken milk I knew that she as not even finished with her gas production. Inside that rather small girl was a gas that few humans had ever encountered, it was no wonder that Brian feared for what wafted out of her butt. After breathing in a few vile gulps of her sinister gas, I had to complement the master.

“Very nice….very strong. Your meet up to your repetition.” I said as I continued to breathe in her gas through my watery eyes.

“Give me a second; I’m trying to finish this level.” Her voice echoed a certain command over me. She was releasing these monster-sized blasts of deadly gas, and her video game still received top priority. I stood there next to her bed for the next ten minutes as I surveyed the girls’ rom and continued to experience the power of her gas as I slowly subsided from a room-clearing burst of deadly flatulence to mere a room-filling haze of previously deposited female flatus that hung to everything like a plague without little end.

When her round was finally finished she placed the game controller down on her bed and took another swig of her milk. Following that she opened up her third can of beans and started took the spoon and quickly took bite after bite of the brown, mushy beans as it entered her system and helped to create an already volatile situation in her bowels. After releasing a rather decent burp from her quick drinking and eating, she finally turned over to me and asked me what I thought of the stench.

“Quite powerful.” I replied.

“Good, cause I’m only beginning. Brianna says that you like girls who fart.”
“Brianna?” I asked, wondering for a moment who she was talking about. She then explained that it was her “playful” name for Brian. I nodded my head in acknowledgement as I then saw her eat of few more mouthfuls of the beans.

“How many cans of beans have you eaten?”

“This will be my third, I got several more. Actually, I got a whole drawer full of beans, stashed away from my family so they can’t clamp down on how many I eat. They only let me eat beans three times a month.”

“How come?”

“What do you think?” She said with a smile as I recalled the smell of her gas, now dissipated to nothing more than a passing stench that ebbed and flowed throughout the room, getting stronger for a moment before dying off as wave after wave of her still intense flatus entered my nose from time to time.

“Brian told me that your farts were lethal to him.”

“Oh these ones will be. I’m going to try to eat ten cans of beans plus a whole gallon of milk. You may want to rethink your position of girl’s farts. Mine are already very powerful and tonight, they are going to be even stronger. Brace yourself.” Rita said as she slowly leaned her jean-cladded rear end in my direction, only slightly as she began to push out a fart. Another massive and long SBD, it was twice as strong as anything I had smelled up to that point.
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!

I swore that I could hear just a little bit of the puffing noise that came out from her ass as she pushed forth this 30-second long fart into the already smelly atmosphere that encompassed her room. She just looked around and released this fart with great concentration and energy and with the look that she had done this before. It wasn't like this fart was a great surprise to her or anything, it was rather normal it seemed. She started to get this creepy smile on her face as she expressed the sheer relief of having to let go of all this pungent gas that was bubbling up within her. This hissing continued beneath the comfy exterior of her blue jeans as this rotten fart gas came out and then the smell began to attack my lungs; Rita was releasing a really smelly one!

I started inhaling the strong surge of rotten gas that had emerged from Rita's behind and it stunk of rotten garbage and shit and carried a high sulfuric amount, greater than that of 99.9% of all humans, and all from an 11-year old girl. The smell filled the entire room in the same amount of time it took her to push it out, it was above all else a fart that no one had ever produced before, at least I thought. I tried inhaling the smell for as much as I could stand it, trying to take in the foul, pungent odor of her fart, the most gas I had ever inhaled from a female’s fart. I already knew that Rita farts smelled bad, I had already experienced it, but this one had taken it up a notch. But the damning part of the whole thing was her reaction. She stood there with her arms across the chest, acting as if the fart was nothing. Giggling she looked back at my face, now red from my body trying to take in the wretched stink.

"What do ya think? Beans do a good number on my gas don't they?"

"Very much?"

"Well, we'll see how much of my sulfur can you handle before you fall like the rest?" She said giggling as she invited me to sit down on the bed next to her on her left, with the next can of beans ready to go on her right. She wasted no time in opening that can and eating the contents from it. That's when I realized the power of her gas, it was gaining strength, and I hadn't even smelled the worst of its power yet.

Over the next 30 minutes Rita had finished another two cans of beans and I talked with her over various aspects. She liked to play video games and was a big fan of Eminem, so we started on those topics. Despite her age she sounded a year or two older than she was. Her size was not older than her age, but she carried around a demeanor that she was more mature than she appeared. But that all backed away into a reminder of her childish manner, a gaggle of giggles that heralded the humor she saw in the simple question I had asked her "Do you have more gas?"

"Does this answer your question?" She said with a giggle as she quickly leaned her body over to her left with her ass facing my left thigh, mere inches away as she blasted forth another long and hot SBD.
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I felt the warmth of this pungent air as she giggled upon releasing this behemoth of a silent fart. Its smell was incomprehensible; no words other than BAD could describe it. I could now see why Rita and Brian used skunks and dog farts to describe the smell, her gas’ odor was right up there. The air still looked normal to me, but deceptively it swirled with an airborne chemical that was produced straight within the bowels of this 11-year old. Rotten eggs and weeks-old garbage probably smelled good in comparison to the gas as I got off the bed and moved over toward a window, gagging a little from the gas.

Rita fanned the air from her jean cladded ass as she applauded her efforts for releasing such a rancid rip of flatulence. I could only do nothing but to praise this gas that came from her. As deadly and foul as it was, it was also amazing to experience. I was a witness to flatulence unlike any other experienced in human history, or at least close to it.

“That is an incredible fart; your digestive system is simply a machine that I bet no one can figure out. The gas that flows out from your butt is truly potent and if someone were to breathe in what came out from there right now they would probably die. Rita your farts smell worse than a sewer, it’s like you have a septic tank up in there, I don’t know how anyone could stand it.”

“Oh they can’t. I can’t release these outside of my bedroom….stinks a little doesn’t it?” She said laughing as she knew full well just how horrible her gas smelled. Rita had REAL power in her farts. But if that didn’t make things any better, I heard some giggling from her as I asked what was so funny. The look on her face was that of some maniac kid who was imposing her will upon me. In her cute girl voice I heard her laugh as she announced the release of some more flatulence.

“I just farted again.” She said giggling as she waited all but four seconds for me to catch wind of this second burst. Fouler and stronger, her fart carried an even stronger punch as I pinched my noise and waved the air around me, cussing as I experienced another atrocious stench.

“Fuck…..Goddamn that stinks!” And then the smell got to me and it was showing its force. Like the previous farts, obviously, it was a silent one, one that blew from her jean-covered butt into the bed. The fart had gone on for about 25 seconds and it was being pumped with a strong beany smell that was quick to offend anyone who took a whiff of it. It was an ultra-putrid creation, produced with the bowels of a small girl and stronger than anything he would have thought was imaginable. My sister had only been able to produce a fart that could go on for four seconds at the longest. The fart burned Rita’s ass as she released the beast and the tangy smell forced her to put her hand over her mouth and nose to avoid having to smell its dreaded stench. But this did little, her SBDs were at the top of the line and a yellow fog had started to settle over the surround area. I had looked at the windows and really considered opening one. Meanwhile, Rita was giggling as she waved the air around her as she felt the heat from this silent fart. She saw me walk to the window and asked what I was doing.

I told her I was opening up the window to air out the room. Surprisingly, she agreed to the idea, but I soon found out that it was all for nothing. It was hot and sticky outside and didn’t help much to clear the room of the vast amount of flatus that now hung over like a ghastly fog of young girl fart. Five more minutes of watching her play a video game as she worked on can number six of her beans and an idea struck her head.

“I must admit, you’re holding up much better than Brian ever would. He’d be gone for hours the way I was going….actually he’d probably be dead.” She said laughing as she smelled more of her gas. I couldn’t necessarily deny that, the smell inside that bedroom even with the window open was still beyond belief. The stench of a Rita fart was the same as it was when I entered the room originally, only ten times stronger now. She was producing and releasing farts of greater quantity each time she pushed one out. It had been five minutes since her last fart and my heart was beating a little faster as I anticipated the next time another burst of wicked wind would reach my nostrils, but then she came up with an idea and I had to jump on the opportunity.

“I’m going to continue eating my beans and drinking my milk while playing my games. I want you to lie down on my bed behind me and wait for the moment in which I need to let one go. I’m going to hold in my gas for now, building it up and when the time is right I want to fart on your face, I gotta see how bad these farts can be.” Having said all of that, I decided to go ahead with Rita’s idea and lie down flat on her bed with my nose facing the bed. Mere inches away from me was the denim that covered her rather small butt, but already I could feel the intense stench of her gas emitting itself from her jeans. I was waiting for the gas to come, but Rita had made it clear that it could be a while. I could hear the TV in the background barely as well as the bubbling inside her stomach through her butt cheeks and the sloshing around, making noises that grew louder and louder and louder. She calmly and quietly continued to eat another three cans of beans, eating far more than I would have ever expected from a girl her age. All the while, I was looking up at Rita’s twin glutes as the overwhelming stink of her deadly flatulence continued to hover around. Her bed smelled as if it had been on the receiving end of far too many of her lethal blasts, it was as if I was lying down on a surface that consisted of nothing but cotton and farts.

And then it attacked me….oh it wasn’t the big fart she was anticipating, that was still on the way, it was a small whisper of an SBD, lasting for ten seconds and so insignificant that she could hardly notice that she was releasing it at all.

PPPPPPPPPffffffffffffffffffffffffffssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!

The 11-year old was releasing a pungent SBD so insignificant that she never detoured away from her video game to comment on the stench. Regardless, the gas that was blowing out her shitter, mere millimeters away from my face, was out of this world. I smelled the decaying ruins of dozen skunks and loads and loads of beans, and I could start smelling the eye-watering punch that was her gas. I tried to hold in my breath as this initial wave of gas came pouring out from her behind, but the force was too great for me and I had to accept the gas and let it into my system, flowing through my nostrils and into my brain and lungs. I had to eat the gas as if it were nourishment, the foulest type of nourishment possible. The fart had an incredible hang time too, as I knew I would be smelling and tasting the remnants of this fart for quite some time. This was not a Silent-But-Deadly Fart; this was the next stage above it, an impossible stage, only achieved by Rita herself. I had learned already to fear the power of the Rita SBD; this just cemented its role. I thought about backing away as I smelled this horrendous aroma, but I didn’t want to give it off to Rita that I was also actively enjoying smelling this. Despite its shorter length, it really was much fouler than before and as the smell took hold over her room even she had to acknowledge that she had just let one rip. But she continued to play her video game and awaited the continuous buildup as she began eating can number eight of her beans. Another swig of her milk and Rita’s gas was exponentially getting more lethal. Like the San Andreas Fault in California, It was only a matter of time before she released “the big one.”

I could only imagine the true horror being produced in the stomach of the 11-year old Rita. A small girl playing a video game while her stomach was trying to make due with cans and cans worth of beans and milk, destructive to a girl who was intolerant to lactose. Inside her stomach, a bomb was being constructed, a bomb bigger than either of us could have expected. What was equating to a good five pounds worth of beans were now festering inside of her stomach as the food passed through her small intestine to her large intestine. There, the food was broken down by bacteria in the large intestine, which released hydrogen and carbon dioxide in the process. Above all else however was the methane and hydrogen sulfide that was in constant production as this bacteria continued to work with her food. Through some unknown reason at this point in her life, beans really did create gas of incredible proportions and intensified this process. Medically there had to be something wrong with her, but no one had done the tests yet and it was still merely a mystery about why beans did such awful damage to her insides and the gas that came out from it.

Another 15 minutes passed and I continued to sniff the remnants of that one small SBD slowly dying off. I had seen two fans in the room that I presume were used to keep her cool and to dissipate air if she were to let off a really smelly fart, but as she ate cans number nine and ten I began to fear for what was to come. She was letting in even more beans and chugging on yet another glass of milk and now I could start to hear the grumbling sounds of her stomach as it tried to make due with all this volatile stuff entering her system. Slowly Rita’s colon was expanding full of her most toxic gas ever as she continued to play her game, to another level in both her gameplay and her gas production. I stayed there lying on the bed as I smelled the area around me. The gas was finally starting to vanish completely as Rita was staying true to her vow to hold in her gas. By now she could have unleashed five SBDs that went on for 30 seconds with the gas she was holding, but she was building it into a bomb that could have possibility killed me in the process let alone Brian. I then started to hear an incredibly loud sound from her stomach, growling as if it had finally enough to gas to hold.

RRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggglllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

It was bubbly and incredibly long for a simple rumble of her stomach, but it was more gas building and forming and moving through her insides. It was the sign that the little girl had eaten her full maximum amount of beans, ten cans worth and milk, nearly a full gallon. She could have entered an eating contest and probably held up quite well. She rubbed her stomach as she quickly finished up her round in less than a minute before placing the controller to her side and looking back at my body with her cute girlish eyes looking down at me. We both knew it, she was ready.

“I have it….I have to fart and it’s gonna be big! Now lie with your nose pointing up so that I can sit on your face.” I did so immediately as I was too captivated not to see what this would be like. I might pass out myself like Brian; I might even end up dying. But too me, I had already smelled the utter foulness of her gas and was now wanting to experience the full and awesome power of the greatest fart yet. Giggling up a storm, Rita was more than giddy to let er rip!

“Prepare to smell a fart too powerful for weaklings like yourself to withstand!” And with that Rita ripped the biggest fart ever!
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP………….

THIS WAS THE BIG ONE! For a full two minutes she pushed out a loud and bubbly fart and for the last 45 seconds it was nothing but silent and toxic gas, but to me it was simply The Rita Fart. The fart was as immense and spectacular as anything ever produced by the human body and by the grace of God I survived all of it, until the very end when my lungs gave out and I collapsed into a deep state of unconsciousness, but I was hardly the only victim of the Rita Fart. It started with a trumpeted sound that shook the bed and vibrated a few items on her dresser. It wasn’t as thunderous to her as it seemed to me as I felt her rather average sized buttocks and felt the gas being forced up my nostrils like a blast of hot wind pushing through a small corridor to create a violent wind tunnel effect. The gas filled my body in record time and then continued to fill it with more and more gas as Rita continued to push out this incredibly wet and bubbly fart out of her ass and onto my face, I was being facefarted with a fart so severe it was within the realm of possibilities that no human in history had ever been in my experience. But somehow I soldiered on as the first minute of Rita’s ridiculously-long fart continued on like a massive explosion of ten bean cans worth of gas.
…………PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP………………

Of course there was then the smell, which attacked me first as she began pushing out this fart and continued a full force for the duration. I could have thrown out some random number of skunks or dog farts or whatever to describe the smell; the truth was I had no real way of giving a description. All I could say was that it was severe, vile and deadly. This gas would have killed Brian, there was no doubt, it would have killed plenty of people it they were exposed to it like me. My experiences with smelling gas from other females not to mention a little exposure to Rita’s toxic fumes probably saved me from death. Had this been the first fart I would have smelled it may have been all for me, but here I was able to witness each passing second as her bubbly fart continued to push out like bubbles in a hot soup that were boiling with the rising temperature. There was lots of sulfur and brimstone in the gas and surly the stench of the smelliest items in human existence were up there as I found out the full power of beans on Rita’s system. Eggs, shit, cheese, decaying body, skunks, and dogs, all of it was in there, at what composition I didn’t know. I had read up about the composition of farts and most of it was normal gases that we breathed in each moment of our life. Even the smelly part of the fart was always a minuscular portion of the whole picture, but Rita’s fart smell was composed of chemicals I could have sworn never existed before. Her stomach was a laboratory of toxic chemicals helping to produce a smell so foul that skunks would back away from it and humans all over would pass out. She had claimed while we were talking that her bean farts had caused some 170 different people to pass out and now her claim was making more sense to me.
…..PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT……

The Rita Fart continued past the 1:30 mark and was still going strong, truly amazing for a small 11-year old girl. The vantage point I had was that of darkness, my vision obscured by her blue jeans while her butt moved up and down like a jackhammer over my nose as the gas continued to bubble out as the fart got increasingly more wet with the noxious fumes of her deadly gas pouring out. I could smell and taste nothing but this girl’s gas as it ruptured out of her butt with such force that my mind was starting to spiral into some sort of state of mind that wasn’t dead or alive, but trapped in a zone that consisted of nothing but fart. I thought about what Brian had told me, about his cousin Rita and her gas and how unbelievable his story sounded. Well I was a believer now and as long as she continued to release farts like these I couldn’t see how anyone could challenge Rita on anything, she was a powerful being with a gift so deadly that few could ever try to insult her. Insulting a girl like her would be a fatal mistake; all she had to do was have the fuel. I was convinced that she needed to see scientists at this point to determine what it was that was making her gas so lethal by itself. Beans gave a person gas, sure I knew this, but what Rita had was much more than that. She was a weapon of gas destruction and as more of her gas was released I was convinced of this. Rita had absolutely powerful and insanely deadly farts!
…….PPPPPPPPPPPPPhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was past the two minute mark that the bubbling part of the fart finally ended up with a splattering explosion on her pants and into my nose, but she wasn’t crapping herself. Her fart had become a beast for so long that it was evolving by itself into a silent hisser, where it would remain as the fart finally hissed itself out like air out of a balloon. All of the sudden I could feel the sharp heat and one-way airflow of her SBDs and for the next 45 minutes she was cutting loose a silent fart that was by itself four times greater than her worst SBDs that day and ten times greater than that small one I had smelled while she was seated on her bed. For each second that passed Rita was passing out more silent but deadly gas than I could had released by myself on a single day. The beans and milk were doing it to her; they were giving her a combustible combination that granted her the power to produce a fart so wicked and so powerful that I was unlikely to think straight for a long time. It wasn’t just that but it was what was to come after the fart ended. As I felt the SBD finally wane itself out as the girl had finally released all of her gas onto my face I started to hear her laugh. This was a different laugh; this was the laugh of a girl who had claimed victory over me, one who had finally dominated me and one who had unleashed upon the Earth a fart that few mortals could hold up to. I was able to survive the worst of the gas and I felt a bit of pride but as I heard the laughter I could think of nothing else other than Rita’s deadly gas, and the reason it was deadly was………..

It was sometime in the middle of the night, Rita had been at her video games the whole time. Her house was quiet other than the 11-year old playing in her room. I was just waking up with a bit of a headache, actually it was hard to describe how it was, but it seemed as if I had emerged from some sort of coma, even though I was just knocked out. As my eyes flickered to see nothing but darkness with a flashing light that was projected from the television. I found that I was on the floor beneath Rita’s bed and I could still smell the gas, barely, but still there nonetheless. The sound of me waking up was all that Rita had to know to alert her to my presence.

“Finally you’re up….it must have been hours since I cut that big one.” She said giggling as I took out my cell phone to check the time, sure enough it was almost 1:00 in the morning. I shook my head at the sheer impossibility of having myself be knocked out by a young girl’s nearly three-minute long fart and knocked out for hours.

“It’s been that long?”

“Oh don’t worry about it. Brian would still be dead if he had smelled that one, even from a distance. I invited my parents and sisters up to my room soon after and they all passed out for a brief time as they took one whiff of my masterpiece. That was a truly bad fart….but there is a slight problem.”

“What’s that?” I asked as I heard another small giggle, one that indicated something dubious was going on.

“I can’t stop farting.” She said with a giggle as I suddenly felt a strong surge in gas, Rita had cut another SBD and it was truly and profoundly bad. Nauseating as it was bad, this fart may not have been as repulsive as the “big one,” but it stunk worse than dead skunks and moldy cheese, on top of all the usual descriptors of bad farts and such. My nose was attacked with a stench so bad that it almost couldn’t take it and my mind started wondering back toward unconsciousness, but this time I held myself and took in the vile aroma as Rita laughed her ass and remarked about her consistent and continuous bad gas.

“I must say, I’ve never had gas like this. I like to think of myself as getting worse each year.” She said with a bright smile on her face, the smile of a demonic kid with a powerful weapon. Gulping at the fear of this, I asked her how this was so.

“Each year they grow in length and smelliness. By 14, my milk farts will smell as bad as my bean farts do now. I predict that this increase will keep happening at least until I turn 18. By then I will be an adult and my body changes will have probably stopped. I would love it if my bean farts one day became lethal to normal people.”

“They seem lethal enough already.” I remarked as I waved my hands around, and that bit of conversation gave Rita a deadly idea. She knew that Brian would still be up and decided to give him a ring. Even at 1:00 in the morning, she figured Brian would respond to a call of a friend in trouble. Only I wasn’t the one in trouble, he was.

“I don’t think inviting him here is such a good idea, you told me he’d die from smelling your bean farts.” I tried protesting but Rita was already on her phone getting a hold of Brian. She made a frantic call that her gas had left me knocked out and that I required attention. She also promised him that she had already cleared the room of her gas but that I was still knocked out. After she finished her call she grew a big smile as she looked over at me and announced that I had to start “playing dead” so that she could get Brian, but I refused.

“Okay then…didn’t want to do this.” She said shrugging her shoulders as I contemplated for a brief moment what she was going to do, but as soon as I saw her tilt her butt over in my direction I already knew my fate. It was another SBD and unlike some of her previous blasts, this one was very rich in her own special blend of gas that made it impossible for anyone but herself to breathe.
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rita had told me later on that this fart lasted a good solid minute, of which I was probably conscious for about 30 seconds of it, but as the smell continued to grow, exponentially across her bedroom it became too much for me to handle. It was the perfect Silent But Deadly Fart, emphasizing that term in every aspect possible. It stunk way too much to be a simple fart; she had to be releasing something else into the air as she pushed out this impossibility long and smelly fart. I tried to inhale the aroma as she continued to push this fart out, laughing the whole time as she knew what was going to happen. This was a Silent Fart and it was going to be a Deadly Fart too. The burning silent fart poured its way out of her butt as it burned her pants leaving a distinct mark from burn marks of the ultra-wretchedness of the fart. The fart quickly filled the bedroom as well as surely the upper part of her house as I started to cough uncontrollably from the unbearable stink. The burning smell had left a yellow fog, not seen because of the dimness of her room’s lighting, covering the bedroom and even Rita was caught off guard by the potent odor as she was hacking a little herself.

“Jeez that one stunk!” She cried out in a bit of horror and glee as she hear my body drop to the ground once more. She looked around and admired the damage of her fart, probably her 30th one since she began eating the beans, 30 was her daily average, but ten cans of beans were really giving her double the power in her gas. Outhouses probably smelled better after a dozen people ate cheese and beans than what Rita was releasing into the air of her bedroom. She decided to quickly turn the fans on in her room as she wanted to clear the air out, but I remained on the floor, about 30 minutes I was told, but it was still much too late as she had greeted Brian at the front door and quickly walked him up the stairs to the upper level of her house. At the moment Brian hadn’t detected any of the gas that Rita had pumped out, but he wasn’t in her bedroom just yet. He was also too panicked to see the black skull shirt, but that all changed as they both arrived at the door to her bedroom.

“So what happened?” Brian asked, not yet putting everything together to see that he was actually being deceived.

“I farted.” She said giggling as she opened up the room and exposed him to just a little bit of her gas, still hanging around after what was about 20 minutes of hang time. Brian tried to muster up his best as he walked into the bedroom and saw my body on the ground. Contrary to what he had been telling me, he was still conscious despite a little exposure to her gas, but it was fading so quickly with the fans that the whole experience gave him more of a severe headache than anything else. As he asked her what had happened he hear the door close behind him. Rita stood there with the front of her body against the door and her cute small bubble butt pointed in Brian’s direction.

“Oh please Rita….please don’t….you ate beans didn’t you?” He asked as she quickly turned her head and nodded.

“Oh yes Brianna….I ate ten cans of beans and several glasses of milk. Your friend couldn’t handle the power of my farts….and it looks like you’re the next victim. Farewell dear cousin!” She laughed as she pushed her hands on the door and concentrated the full brunt of her next volley of gas, unlike her previous blasts, this one was going to be loud and bubbly, a big fart from such a small girl. Grunting for a moment Brian said one last prayer to God before hearing the release of gas from an 11-year old’s body; his life was coming to a quick and unusual end.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA……..

The girl had worked up a monster fart, a true powerhouse of a blaster, vibrating the entire room with the force of a small earthquake. The fart could be heard everywhere on the upper floor of her house as the sound pulsated off all the walls and the ceiling with an ominous vibrating sensation that continued for the full minute-length of the fart. It roared out like a terrifying monster, escaping a trapped prison within the jean-covered behind of the young girl. A rotten egg stench began to fill the bedroom around her as her unworldly gas flowed with a deadly torrent out from behind her butt and straight into Brian’s face. From everything I heard later on, Rita was laughing the whole time as Brian suffered greatly during what was surely his last seconds of life. The gas attacked him with such power that it was not unlike being crushed by a massive weight that smashed every bit of humanity out of him. The exterior of his body was fine, but his lungs and his overall body systems were suffering from the horrible stench of the gas. The sounds pierced his ears with the fury of bean-powered gas and his lungs labored for a good 15 seconds as it tried to take in the poisonous gas. His eyes swelled and his face got read as he was starting to have what appeared to be, after all, an allergic reaction to the fart. He was suffering no worse than someone who had just been stung with a wasp and found himself on the ground as he heard the thunderous fart continue to erupt from Rita’s bottom. She looked back and saw with a mixture of horror and glee that Brian was really becoming a victim of her gas.
…..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP……

The smell was overpowering, and that was saying it politely, it was killing Brian and keeping me down for it duration. It was another signature of the true power of Rita’s gas, more and more her gas was becoming superhuman, beyond normal, something was up with this girl. This fart smelled like raw shit and had a strong limburger cheese element in its mix along with the smell of rotting broccoli and beans. This was a fart that was going to have tremendous hang time as Brian was beginning to feel the icy hands of death come after him. The smell continued to grow in coverage and strength as he went out past the 20 second mark of the one-minute fart. It only took one third of her fart to put Brian out permanently as he was trussed into a deep coma while Rita continued to unload her massive payload. The amount of gas this girl produced was scary, really scary and she knew it. She smiled as she reveled in the power of the gas that she was containing. She now knew the secret about how to bring everyone to their knees with her gas and this was gas that was supposed to get worse and worse as she grew. Right now her bean farts were doing this kind of damage, but at double or even triple the power, as a teenager Rita could do serious damage. The thoughts ran through her head, gassing out the entire house, putting her entire family into a coma, putting her school into a coma, killing everyone in the classroom with her gas, the thoughts ran the child’s head as she continued unloading this fart.

…….PPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her minute-long bomb of flatulence finally met its ending as she felt the gas start to lose its strength before ending in a silent and deadly way with her most putrid and smelly of gas saved for the very end. Seven seconds worth of silent but deadly gas left her ass to punctuate her fart and this amount of silent but deadly gas was more than enough to stink up an entire classroom by itself. The thin and cotton white panties she was wearing had developed a brown spot throughout the epic round of farting. Most of Rita’s underwear had a similar pattern on them, it was mostly white, except for the brown spot that appeared nearest to her butthole where the smell from her farts had mostly eaten away at the fabric and replaced the white cotton with a brown coat of her shitty gas. The smell from her massive fart reeked of rotten broccoli, cheese, and onions and gave her gas a powerful eye watering context that was even rare for this particular fart. Her face was literally being blinded by a yellowish gas that filled her bedroom with the most puke-inducing gas ever unleashed by any human in the world. She could smell the heavy concentrations of methane and sulfur that flowed out like a strong batch of chemicals filled her bedroom raising the air temperature and creating a ghastly fog unlike any created before.

Taking in a few deep breaths of her own Rita finally acknowledged that her room stunk way too much for even her to handle the gas, she promptly left the room and explored to see if any other people in her house were out. Although it was hard to tell, she thought that everyone was indeed passed out from the exposure to her gas. But seeing Brian’s lifeless body on the ground, she knew she had to do the decent thing and call for help. Announcing a gas leak was in her room she called for an ambulance to treat all the potential victims. Only Rita made one mistake, she reentered her room one more time to see the lifeless body of Brian on the floor and gloat at the fact that he was killed from her farts. One strong surge of her stingy gas, hanging around the room with a plume of stink that make landfills smell like roses, she collapsed as well under the awesome power of her own flatulence, Rita was the last victim of her own epic farting.

EPILOGUE:

Only Brian didn’t die. As Miracle Max had once proclaimed, Brian was only mostly dead. Brian wasn’t killed from the gas, but he wasn’t far off from doing so and the terrifying thing was that it was possible for him to die from Rita’s gas after all. Brian was in a deep coma for about a month and even at that still had to remain in the hospital for another week and a half before finally being well enough to return home. He missed enough school that he had to redo a good chunk of it over the summer to be able to stay in his grade level. The family had recovered after about a day of exposure to Rita’s gas and Rita was back up within hours of going to the hospital, asking questions about what had happened and the gas they were all exposed to. That’s when it was discovered about Rita’s flatulence and she was taken away to a research facility in Berkeley, California where they she stayed for two weeks. There, tests were done with her gas and research conducted to see what exactly made it potent in the first place. All things considered, they found out that Rita’s gas was indeed unique. The thickest, smelliest and most inhumane and potent gas ever produced from a human came from Rita, who scored a 120 on the laboratory’s scale of human gas (the average I was told was roughly below 10.) Even the federal government had expressed interest in using Rita’s gas for “weaponization” purposes.

The tests concluded that indeed, beans and milk helped fuel the increasing potency of Rita’s gas and showcased how it helped produce such foul smells. Overall, they had found her body producing new chemicals, unknown to anyone before, that helped transform her gas from a regular batch of gas to a super gas that only she at the moment was able to produce. The research showed that it would be possible in the future for other humans to produce the same chemical, which was called Chemical R, after the person who was first able to produce it. It was some sort of evolutionary thing where the human body, being exposed to enough of modern technology and modern foods was able to produce a new form of gas that was more than what any textbook knew. Indeed, the research that was discovered with Rita was shown to new students in the fields of gastroenterology who were looking at the various aliments of the digestive system. But because of the relatively newness of the chemical in Rita’s body, there was no treatment, so her gas could continue to get smellier and bigger without much of a check on her body.

As for Brian and his allergy to Rita’s gas, well the tests came back and determined that it was indeed true. He was allergic to her gas, but only because he was allergic to the Chemical R that came from her gas. The scientists were baffled at the claim since it was pretty well known that there wasn’t such a thing as allergies to gas, but once Rita’s new gastric chemical was discovered it started to make sense. Since she was the first known person to produce the gas, Brian’s newfound allergy only applied to her. They tried to get him some medicine to take whenever he was in Rita’s presence and it seems to be working alright so far, he still passes out but now it’s only for a few minutes at most and not for much longer beyond that. Even her bean farts will only make him pass out for half an hour. All of this of course still enables Rita to control Brian and to an extent her family with her gas, knowing that the right combination of foods can give her incredible gas and enough to kill an elephant and take out the entire house. She normally keeps the horrendous gas to herself, not wanting to torture people too often, but one bad day for her and she will want to bring it out on someone. A bully who had taunted Brian sometime later on experienced fully the power of a Rita bean fart and was knocked out for a whole week.

As for myself, I have since become a bit of an addict to her gas. As for the story she asked me to write for her…well you’re reading it right now, the “mostly” true account of everything that transpired that night plus the aftermath. Rita’s gas now had a power over me, but unlike with Brian it wasn’t with torture but with mere appreciation for it. The mere thought of a girl with powerful gas and with some sort of scientific justification made the bit all the merrier for me. I invited myself to see her as often as possible just to catch of a whiff of her world-best flatulence. Even if I would pass out the majority of the time, I loved the exposure to her gas and awaited for it to grow along with the developing young girl. It was her 12th birthday and she had already eaten a dozen cans of beans with milk and new this year, some fiber bars. She asked me to lie down on her bed as I heard her stomach swooshing around full of her potent gas, ready to explode all over my face.

“To let you know, now that I’m 12, my gas is even stronger than before.”

“How can your gas get stronger just because it’s your birthday?”

“Oh my gas is always getting stronger!” She giggled as she sat her jean-covered caboose and found my nose between her slightly larger ass cheeks. Asking if I had any last words I started to feel the gas pour out from underneath her and in my nostrils. Brian would die from simply that kind of exposure. I began to understand the ramifications of Rita’s powerful flatulence right then and there. As she aged and grew up, so did her gas. She began pushing out an incredible three-minute long fart. All I could hear was the bed shaking from the deep penetrating fart that Rita had just released. The floor around her room too shook too as the raw stench of Rita’s raunchy farts started to permeate throughout the bed and into my body. Rita had destroyed whatever remaining fresh air there was and replaced it with her bombastic explosion of sulfuric-created bean farts. My nose was assaulted with the large volume of her gas that she was pushing out. The stench and power of the fart was greater than when I had first met her, probably double the overall power from her first big farts in my face. Now I was a firm believer of what Brian had told me when he first brought up his young cousin and her penchant for passing gas.

“Rita’s Farts are deadly!” I yelled to myself in my own head as I faded into unconsciousness.