It had been a nice evening so far. A few days ago I read a tip of advice on the internet, that, rather than go to dinner and a movie, one should try out going to a movie, and then dinner: that way there would be something to talk about over dinner. I tested this out tonight, taking Marianne to see Avengers: Endgame and heading to the new Indian place afterwards. Overall, I felt as if it was a good idea. Most of the dinner was spent trying to figure out how the time travel worked, though. Not the best casual movie.

I turned the key as Marianne climbed into shotgun and we got on the road. The sky was already getting dark, which was wild for me. As spring wore on, the days were just getting longer and longer. How have we already spent this much time?

In a split second, the evening jumped up a level.

BRRRBRT

My heart dropped into my stomach in that sort of way it does when a girl farts around you and you're not used to her doing it yet. At least, that's what it does when you're like me. I glanced over to Marianne and she had an expression of utter mortification on her face. Holy shit, she really just farted in front of me.

"Oh, shit, I'm so sorry, let me-" Her hand reached to roll down the window.

I stammered out a quick series of syllables that made no sense and ended with "Oh, it's fine, sorry, the f- the windows aren't working, right now," locking the windows from being rolled down in (what I hoped was) a surreptitious and unnoticeable movement.

"What?" she yelped, in what seemed to be simultaneous disbelief and desperation. "But they were working yesterday, or, weren't they?" she began to question.

As she spoke, the smell began to spread through the car, and jeez, did it smell.

"Nope, no, uh, no windows for, like, a week. Need to take it in." I lied, hopefully convincingly.

See, for as long as I can remember being turned on by things, I've had a pretty massive fetish for the sound of a girl's fart. I'd been dating Marianne for around five months. She had the body of a she-devil, every proportion a man loves just a little bigger than perfect, but up until this point she'd never farted in front of me. I think she's shy about that sort of thing. Regardless of the reason, her farting so suddenly in the car caught me super off-guard.

We left the stink in the car in silence for a while, what seemed to her to be an elephant in the room but really was a piece of heaven for me. But it wasn't over.

"A-are you sure the windows won't work at all? I-"

BRRT-

She let out another rumble from her perfect butt before seeming to purposely hold it back. "I really need to- to pass gas, I'm sorry."

Alright. I have to play this cool. "Honestly, Marianne, I really don't care. You can fart in here." Weird phrasing? I don't know.

"But it's so gross, and it- it stinks." She wasn't wrong about the stink. I guessed Indian food didn't do incredible things to her stomach.

"Hey, it's nothing, everyone does it, right?" Technically true, but wow, not everyone lets out such beautiful rumbles as those ones.

"I guess," she said. She seemed reserved about it, but nonetheless tried (and failed) to let the rest of the fart out silently.

brRrBrRRt

After that she sort of seemed to let her guard down entirely. I was kind of surprised at how quickly she was alright with this, considering how reluctant she had been before.

Marianne kept letting out low, bassy rumblers into the car seat. I was legitimately in a miniature heaven.

BRRRRRRB

We arrived at her home as she pushed out that last one, and she got out pretty quick. I guess she wasn't entirely on board, or at least I thought so, but then ten seconds later she farted a long bubbler on the walk up.

BLRRLRRBLRRB

"Excuse me," she started, but faltered, as it kind of seemed dumb to say that to just the one fart after all the others.

We walked inside.

"To be honest," Marianne said, "I really wish I could just do this freely. It's so relieving, and... I just wish people would stop caring so much about it."

BLRP

"Honest, babe, I'm on the same page as you. I don't get why everyone's so uptight about farting," I said. "You're welcome to relieve yourself when you're with me, at least."

"Thanks," she replied. "It really does mean a lot and feel a lot better that you feel like that." She punctuated the sentence with a short blapper, then laughed softly.

Marianne went to make tea for us while I sat down to find a show to watch. I sincerely doubted anything was going to be as good as Endgame, but it was worth a shot. I heard her letting out even bigger farts in the kitchen while she probably thought I couldn't hear her.

blaaaaaaap blrrrrrrt blorglrblrt prrrrrp

It was so hot, and she didn't even know it.

"Here's your tea," she said, and leaned over kind of seductively in front of me to put it down.

BLRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRT

She let out her longest fart yet right in front of my face. She nearly jumped, but didn't, to avoid spilling the tea. As soon as it had started, there was no stopping it from all blasting out of her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I-"

"No, it's fine," I said, laughing. "That was hilarious. Also I can't even smell it really." That's a lie.

"That's a lie."

"Okay, maybe I can smell it a little, but I didn't want to make you self-conscious. I really don't care," I said again. "You could fart on me and I wouldn't care, that's how little I care."

"Okay, I get it, you don't mind if people fart around you," she said, now also laughing.

She sat down next to me and we put on some crappy primetime show - I don't even remember what it was - and I couldn't pay attention to it! She just kept on farting, and they all sounded so heavenly and deep. I really wanted to stick my face in there, but I couldn't just go and do that.

After we finished our tea, she stood up to "go to the bathroom," in her own words, and I didn't question it. After all, she'd been farting so much I'm surprised she hadn't burnt a hole in her pants. She was gone for only a minute or so.

"Yoohoo," she called to me from the hall, to pull my attention away from the TV.

There she stood in nothing but her fancy lingerie, showing off her slim curvy body. She turned, her head lingering to look at me for a second longer, and then walked back to the bedroom. God, I love Marianne.