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No One Rides for Free Chapter 1 I glance at the top of my phone, a little after 2pm. I can feel my eyes glazing over as I lie in bed, scrolling through countless job postings that I’m not qualified for. What’s the point of getting my degree if so many entry level jobs require literal years of experience that I have no way of acquiring? *click clack* I’m brought back to reality by the sound of a PlayStation controller, I look up from my phone to gaze at the distracted man who occupies my bed, a steady stream of expletives leaving his mouth as he focuses on the screen. “You said you were gonna help me job hunt, David.” I complain. He meets my gaze for a split second but his focus remains unbroken. “Yeah sorry, Al. Let me just finish this round, I’m in like top 8.” He pats my head reassuringly, not noticing my disappointed frown. He’s a great guy but he gets hyper fixated on whatever it is he’s doing. I’m fine with it when I’m the focus of his attention but can’t help but feel jealous when it’s his games. A sigh escapes my lips as I reach for my phone, but a foreboding *growl* in my belly stays my hand, a smile breaks across my face as an idea hatches. I grab the corner of my bed sheets as I prepare my attack. “C’mon c’mon where are you…” David whispers as his eyes narrow towards the screen. I lean on my right side and a drawn out *pffft* can be heard from under the blankets. David groans. “Ugh... seriously Al-” “Frag out!” I shout as I pull the comforter over him, trapping him in the miasma within. “Jesus Christ! Let me out! I’m gonna lose!” David pleads as I hold the blanket over his head. “Say uncle!” I laugh as he wriggles out from under the blankets. Despite my efforts, he breaks free and takes a gulp of fresh air as he escapes from the smelly cave under the sheets. “Uncle! Jesus, you almost got me kil-” David is interrupted as a man in a tomato mask unloads a shotgun into his character. “Whoops, sorry.” I apologize as he gives me a dirty look. I pout my lips out and give him the puppy dog eyes, his expression softens, he leans towards me and plants a kiss on my forehead. “It’s…it’s fine, it’s just a game. What the hell crawled up you and died today? That was like the tenth one since lunchtime.” He says, pulling a lighter from the nightstand drawer. He fishes out another sandalwood incense and lights it. The unpleasant aroma in the air is replaced by a creamy burning wood scent. “Oh speaking of which, shouldn’t Mike be here soon?” David remarks as he extinguishes the flame on the burning stick. “Probably? I think he gets off the school bus at like 2:30 or something? He might actually be in his room right now.” I say, checking the time on my phone. “Why? Did you wanna-” *knock knock* I jump with a start at the sudden noise at my door. “It’s unlocked.” I say, as I heard David rush to pull his shorts back on over his boxers. “H-hey Allie.” Comes a weak response as the door slides open. I turn to the door, eyeing my intruder. Still in his gym outfit, must have just got off the bus. He looks at the floor to avoid eye contact. “Speak of the Devil! Sup Mikey?” I respond. “H-hey... is mom home?” “It’s a little after 2 so she’s still at work, genius. I’m babysitting, David’s here.” “O-oh…” The bed sheets next to me shift as my boyfriend reemerges, wearing an ugly pair of camo shorts. “Sup Mike. How was school?” Says David. “Oh hey David. It was fine. Whatcha playin?” “Fortnite, wanna play?” Don’t invite that brat to play games in my room! “No, not now. Hey A-Allie? Can I go hang out at a friend’s house?” I’m taken aback for a moment. A friend? My brother? He’s always been the household troll that only ever emerges from his room to eat. “Since when do you have friends?” I ask. “It’s actually m-my girlfriend!” Mikey puffs out his chest and squares his shoulders. Was he trying to look cool? To my surprise, I hear David’s voice from behind me. “That’s awesome man, I knew you had it in you!” He’s congratulating him? I look at my brother for a moment. Seeing if that confidence might break if I stare long enough. “Bull crap.” I exclaim. “I bet you made her up. What would any girl see in you?” Mikey looks flustered, his face scrunches up for a moment, he reaches into his pocket. “Here’s her text! Jessica’s r-real!” Mikey unlocks his cell phone and hands it to me. I take the phone from him and look at the screen: “Hey Mike, can you come over to my house and see me? My parents said it was okay as long as you’re out by 6. We can drive you home but we can’t come pick you up, can someone at your house drive you over? Miss you <3” Well I’ll be damned, an honest to god text from what appears to be a girl. I hand the phone back. “And here I thought you were gay.” I tease. Mikey looks unamused, he powers through my taunt. “So I’ll need a ride, can y-you take me?” I’m legit curious to see Mikey’s first girlfriend. I eye my keys resting on my nightstand. A quiet moment passes and before I can make a move I feel a hand on my back. I turn and notice David on the bed behind me, he quickly raises both eyebrows twice as he subtly shoots his eyes at Mikey. I give him a subtle winking nod and turn back to my brother. “I’ll take you to see that girl.” I say. “That’s great! Th-” “But first you gotta pay the toll to ride.” I interrupt. “Wh-what? What do you mean?” Mikey stammers. Ego deflating as suspicion creeps into his voice. I think for a moment. Glancing around the room. My gaze settles on the man in the tacky camo shorts sitting next to me. “Hey Dave? Since you’re here I’m gonna give you the honors, what’s Mikey’s toll to see his totally real girlfriend?” I wait for Mikey to claim she’s real again, I’m disappointed as he doesn’t take the bait. There’s a long silence in the air as David and Mikey lock eyes. David breaks this silence. “What do you smell in here, Mike?” Mikey seems confused and inhales deeply. “It smells kinda like a candle?” David points to the smoking stick next to the bed. “Close enough, it’s incense. People burn them to get rid of… smells. Care to guess why we’ve been burning them?” “Uh... there was a bad smell in here?” David points an accusatory finger at me. “It’s your sister. Ever since lunch she’s been blowing it up in here. I had to step out twice because it got so bad. So we settled on the incense to neutralize her.” He gestures to me once more as I begin to feel self-conscious. I punch David on the shoulder. “Oh my god, shut up! It’s not that bad. I had a Diet Mountain Dew with lunch, you know the bubbles hate me!” I explain, defending my honor. Mikey’s ears begin to redden. He’s getting embarrassed. “S-so? What does that h-have to do with me?” “I’ve been here since lunchtime, I have had to put up with her farts for the last 2 hours, one of them even got me killed online! Your toll is to smell one.” David concludes as Mikey’s ears turn bright crimson. His eyes fall to the grey carpet. David’s words are a gut punch to my poor brother. His shoulders slump and his chest follows. His face twists into an embarrassed grimace. I lean back into David, shaking with silent laughter. “Oh my god babe, that’s perfect.” I say in between giggles. “C-can’t I just clean the dishes or w-wash the living room?” Mikey stammers. He’s so flustered he mixed up his sentence! “No way, broseph! Those are things mom told you to do anyways, they’re your chores. This is for me!” I scold. “M-maybe I co-” “Ass, gas, or cash, kid. No one rides for free. And you’re looking a little light on cash, so now you get gas... from my ass.” I singsong the words as they come to me. There’s an awkward silence in the room. “Wow babe, you workshop that all night or something?” David laughs at my corny joke. “Maybe.” I giggle. That was off the top. Improv! The only sound in the room is the faint echo of David’s game as it sits on the lobby screen. Mikey looks totally lost in thought. He fumbles through his pocket and fishes out his phone, he stares at it for a bit. Taking a deep breath he turns to me. “Just one?” “Just one.” I reassure.
Chapter 2 *Psshhhhhhh* “Thanks babe.” I say as David hands me my drink. I hold the can in front of Mikey’s face “You sure about this? You can always back out, y’know?” Mikey sits on his knees in the center of my room, his eyes fixed on the silver and green can in my hand. “If it’s the only w-way. M-maybe I have some allowance saved up? I-I can go check!” I grin as I place my hand on his shoulder, preventing him from standing to leave, I take a sip from my drink. I glance back to David on my bed, his eyes drifting between my TV and me as he waits for the show to start. Our eyes meet and I blow him a kiss. He catches it and blows his own. “Are you sure there’s nothing else I c-” “Oh! There it is!” I cut Mikey off as I feel the pressure building in my belly. I reach out and grab a fist full of his short brown hair. “Okay, let’s do this.” I turn around and face David as I guide Mikey’s face towards the back of my sweatpants. I glance back at him, the deep purple of my pants matching the tips of his ears. His eyes close in anticipation, his brow furrows. I gently press the back of his head till I feel his nose enter my crack. He instinctively pulls away at the sensation. “W-wait you didn’t say I had to-MMMPH!” I cut him off with a quick push deeper in. “Had to what? Smell my ass? Duh. Now get your face in there and get ready.” I command. I turn to David and am met with the excited face of a child on Christmas morning. He loves watching me do this. I put on a show for him by slowly wiggling my ass back and forth on Mikey’s face, his head tracing the path of my hips as I move. We listen to Mikey’s muffled groan together, I playfully stick my tongue out at my boyfriend. Enjoying the view? Or jealous? I end my show by placing my hands firmly on the sides of Mikey’s head and focus. 3… 2.. *Pfffft* The silence in the room is annihilated by a combination of my fart, my laugh, and Mikey’s muffled squeak in surprise. I tighten my grip on the back of his head, trying to press him deeper as he fights valiantly to escape. I feel his nose frantically shift left and right, but he’s initially unsuccessful at removing himself from my ASSylum. “Mmmph M-Mmmph” yelps Mikey as he is bathed in my radiance. “C’mon it’s not that bad! Stop moving!” I command as Mikey flails about. I should have had him sit cross legged, he has too much leverage on his knees, I don’t know how much longer I can keep him pressed into my ass. Losing him! *PHOO HUUH* Came a loud exhale as Mikey frees himself from my sweatpants prison. A resounding *THUD* echoes as he throws himself onto his back. Wait he exhaled? He held his breath, that cheater! “Okay… can we g-go now?” pleads Mikey as he begins to rise from the floor. “I did what yo-*THUD*” he hits the floor again, my foot planted firmly on the chest of his grey shirt.. “Oh no no no, you held your breath! The toll was that you had to SMELL a fart, you were struggling because you weren’t breathing, you’re disqualified!” I scold. Mikey looks indignant and begins to turn red, but this time not with embarrassment. “What do you mean? I didn’t hold my breath! I s-smelled it!” he protests. “Liar!” I point at him. “Back me up David, you watched.” I glance over to my adoring fan.. “Uhh yeah! He totally held his breath. Sorry, man. Rules are rules and you broke them. DQ.” Mikey pleads to David with his sad eyes, probably hoping he’ll change his mind and be his savior. If he only knew he was barking up the wrong tree. I’d agree to stop way before David would ask me to. He turns back to me. “S-so you won’t take me?” I think for a moment, pressing my toes into Mikey’s ribs, I turn to David. “What do you think, babe? One more chance?” David nods enthusiastically. “Yeah I think he can do it, how’s about it Mike? One more shot?” Mikey stares up at me with a look that I think was supposed to be courageous? He just looks kinda constipated. “If I do it right this time, you promise to take me?” He questions. “Cross my heart and hope to die.” I take my foot off his chest and offer him my hand.
Chapter 3 *snif snif* “How you doing back there?” I taunt, wiggling my hips back and forth once more. I turn back to see his short brown hair swaying to my rhythm. Mikey wasn’t going to be getting the privilege of waiting outside this time, he’s been between my cheeks since I helped him up, he’s kept a pretty steady rhythm of loud sniffing to prove he isn’t holding his breath this time. “Hey can you hand me my Diet Dew, babe?” I extend my hand out to my boyfriend. “Oh sure. I gotcha.” he says as he picks my can up from the nightstand.. “Thanks b-” I start, but stop as David walks in front of me and places the can at my feet instead of my open hand. I raise my eyebrow at him and he gives me a wink. “There ya go.” he says, giving me that look again. The look that says he’s captivated by my performance. You want a show, big guy? I’ll give ya a show. I flash him a little smile and slowly bend over to pick up my drink. I notice Mikey’s sniffing slow, probably unhappy that I've opened a direct channel to my smelliest part. I feel his face pull away from my backside. “Hey! If you wanna see that girl I better feel your nose, brat. Get your face back in the butt!” I command. I listen to Mikey give an annoyed groan as he presses back into my crack. I feel his nose briefly make contact with my asshole and quickly relocate to slightly higher up. I stifle a laugh at his mistake as he resumes his familiar *snif snif* sounds. “That’s more like it, you want a ride to see her right?” I feel Mikey’s nose move up and down. It was a strange sensation that I had come to realize meant he was nodding in the affirmative. “What’d I tell you earlier about rides?” I prompt his memory. “N-no one… rides for free.” He responds. “Exactly!” I quickly stand up straight, pinching his nose in between my cheeks. “Mmmph!” Protested Mikey. “Then do as I tell you.” I threaten. I lift the can to my lips once more, I feel that familiar demon rumbling in my belly. “I got one, it’s coming. Get ready!” I reach behind me to grasp Mikey’s head, but stop. I have an idea that two out of three of the people in this room will enjoy. I let my hands limply fall to my sides and glance over at my boyfriend. He shoots me a puzzled look. I silently mouth the words “Trust me” and focus once more. 3… 2.. 1. … “W-well is it co-*PFFFFRT*” Mikey lurches back, bumping his head into the opposite wall. “Bad time to have your mouth open, dude.” I say, doubling over in laughter. I spin around to see Mikey rubbing the back of his head and dry heaving. That looks like it hurts. And smells. “Ow, can we stop now? I don’t want to do this anymore, A-Allie. I feel sick.” I notice he’s looking a little green. Was it that bad? The first one was pretty breezy but I guess that last one must have went in his mouth or something. I turn away as my brother sits on the floor coughing. “Hmm.” I lift my hand to the bottom of my chin, stroking an imaginary goatee. “I’m not sure if that really counted. You jumped back so fast, I think you didn’t really get a good whiff.” “Wh-what!? No way! I did it! It was awful, c’mon David you saw it right?” Mikey looks to the bed where David is. “Tell her I did it, you saw me smelling it the whole time, right?” He appears to be a mixture of outrage and humiliation at this point. “Gee, I dunno. I wasn’t really paying attention. Sorry, Mike.” David says, shrugging as he refuses to meet Mikey’s pleading eyes. You’re a bad liar, babe. But that’s good enough.. “What! No!” Protested Mikey. He looks back to me, “You gotta b-belive me, Allie! I didn’t cheat!” It was time to enact my master plan. “Well it seems the evidence is inconclusive, Mikey. Sorry, disqualified.” I could barely contain the excitement in my voice. I grin as Mikey’s face twists in anger and humiliation. “Wh-what? This is unfair! I didn’t cheat!” He throws a little tantrum as he heads towards the door. “Forget this! You were never gonna take me a-anyways! You just wanted to m-mess with me…” Eh 50/50. I pick up my car keys from the nightstand. Mikey stops as the jingling sound catches his ear. “I thought you really liked this girl, you’ve already gone through so much just to see her. You can’t stop here! You wanna see her, right?” I question Mikey’s resolve. The anger in his face fades a bit, he furrows his brow and looks down. “I… I do want to see her.” he mumbles to himself. I can use this. I turn to David and signal for some sort of backup. If you wanna see the finale you gotta man up! David’s eyes search for the right words to say. “Listen Mike, if you give up now that means you’ve done all this for nothing. You don’t want that do you?” “N-no.” Mikey looks up from the floor, his eyes travel between David and I. “C-can I try again? But you have to promise no more tricks. No more messing with me.” A laugh escapes me. “You should know me well enough to know I’ll never stop messing with you. But tell you what, no matter how I feel about how the next game ends, I’ll make sure you get to Jessica’s. What do you say?” Mikey remains on guard, but his expression softens.“F-fine, but you better not be lying.” “Don’t worry. David will make sure I honor my word. You trust him right?” I gesture to the man behind me. David waves at Mikey. “Yeah. Yeah I trust him. Okay A-Allie, what now?” He takes a deep breath and puts on a brave face. I had been waiting for this. “Well, I figure since there’s no way to fail it’s best to make it an endurance round this time. Quantity over quality.” Mikey twists his face in confusion. “Endurance?” He repeats the word back to me. “What do you mean?” Before I can speak David interjects. “You know how in some games they have modes where you just have to survive for a set time limit? During that time they throw endless enemies at you, to try and stop you. Have you played anything like that?” “Yeah?” “That’s an endurance run.” David says. “Oh okay, but what does that have to do with…” A look of realization crosses Mikey’s face and he begins to look sick. I think he gets it. “Right, you follow?” I narrow my eyes and offer up a sly smile. I take a slow sip from my drink. “I… I think so. You’re gonna… on me for-” “10 minutes.” I interrupt. His eyes widen. “That’s way too long! You’re joking!” “E-N-D-U-R-A-N-C-E” I spell out to him. Mikey uneasily shuffles from one leg to the next. His face a mask of conflicting emotions. I walk towards him and throw my arm over his shoulder. I feel him tense up at my touch. “No one rides for free.” I say as I press down on the back of his neck, causing him to drop to his knees. “Lay down.” I command. Mikey resists and catches himself before he tumbles. “Wait wait wait, I was on my knees for the other parts. Why do I have to lay down?” I crouch down to meet him at eye level. “Cause we’re gonna do the moon mask, like we used to!”
Chapter 4 “B-But mom said you couldn’t do that to me anymore! She said you’d be in big trouble!” Mikey stammers as he attempts to get up. I gently push him onto his back. I throw my leg over him and take a seat on his belly, facing him. I glance towards my bed. David’s hyper fixation has left him totally glued to my performance. I balance myself by placing a hand on Mikey’s chest. “I think if you’ll remember, mom’s instructions were very specific.” I take my free hand and pinch my nose together to simulate our mother’s nasally voice. “Allie Ingold! I never want to see you putting your bare bottom anywhere near your poor brother’s face again! That’s disgusting and completely immoral! You should be ashamed of yourself!” Mikey stares up at me, a dumbfounded expression on his face. “Yeah? You remember. So why are you wanting to do it now?” I point a finger towards my backside. “Does this look bare to you? I’m clearly wearin-” “If I may interrupt.” David’s voice cut me off. “Your mom saw you sitting on him… bare?” I give David a quizzical look. Had I not told him about this before? “Well... yeah I-” “She did it when mom told her to w-wake me up for school! I was sleeping and she m-mooned me, I woke up and t-tried to call for mom and she told me to shut up and sat on my face! She wouldn’t get off so mom came to see what was taking so long. T-they grounded her for two weeks.” Mikey spills the entire story before I can get a word in. Maybe I wanted to embellish a bit and make it exciting for him, you brat! I lick the palm of my hand and press it into his face, he recoils and tries to back away. “S-stop it… gross.” “Don’t interrupt me, brat. Ever.” I chastise as I rub my wet hand into his face. “Is that true, Allie? You never told me about that.” David inquires. I think back for a moment before I begin speaking. “It was about 3 years ago. It was early in the morning and I just had breakfast, Mikey had to get up to catch the bus so mom asked me to get him up because she was busy. I came into his room and he just looked so defenseless, sleeping with his face exposed above his sheets, so I thought it’d be funny if I woke him up and the first thing he sees is my full moon looming over him. And I wasn’t naked! I just slid my PJ’s down a little, he could just see the butt. Then the tattletale wakes up and starts shouting for mom. I kept telling him to shut up but he wouldn’t listen. So I crashed that full moon onto his loud mouth. I told him I’d get up if he could lift me off, but he was weaker back then and he couldn’t do it. I thought it was funny to watch him try and… I guess I got a little carried away.” I reminisce with a wistful grin on my face, recalling the feeling of him frantically pushing my bare cheeks in an attempt to move me, not realizing he was just spreading them and getting more stuck. “Then mom came in to see why I hadn’t got him up yet. Mom… didn’t think it was funny.” I say as my grin fades, recalling my recollection of what she’d said earlier. “I still have nightmares of waking up in a dark, smelly cave.” Mikey whines as he attempts to bite my fingers in his face. “”So is that where the whole “moon mask” thing came from?”” David continues his line of questioning, ignoring Mikey’s dream talk. “Well yeah, sorta. I’ll tell ya later. Kinda in the middle of something, babe.” I brush off his question as I pull my hand back from Mikey’s snapping teeth. “Right sorry.” I stare back at my brother beneath me. “So to reiterate. I’m not naked so i’m still following mom’s rules. Now, i’m gonna sit on your stupid face and fart on you for 10:00 minutes. Got it, tattletale?” “That was 3 y-years ago!” Mikey complains. I do not dignify his words with a response. Mikey groans and reaches under my leg, producing his phone. He does something on it and hands it to me. “Here, I set a timer for 10 minutes. You have to get up when it goes off okay?” I take the phone from his hand. Does he realize he’s handing me his unlocked phone? ”Fine, fine don’t worry. I’ll start the timer when you’re up my ass.” I crassly respond. I grin as his ears go crimson. “Don’t… say it like that.” He mumbles. Adorable. I lift off of him and turn around, facing his feet. “Tap my thigh if you’re about to die, okay?” I ask as I look over my shoulder at him, slapping the side of my thigh in example. He takes a nervous gulp of fresh air. “D-don’t forget to turn on the ti-MMMPH” I plunge Mikey into darkness as I settle onto his face. “Yeah yeah I got it, enjoy your stay in hotel Allie.” I press the start button on the timer as I wiggle back and forth, trying to get Mikey’s nose lined up for maximum fart intake. I glance over to David and a *gasp* escapes me as I see that he has left the bed and is now roughly a few inches behind me. “Jesus! Eager for a show, babe?” I stammer. He doesn’t respond to me. “Can you hear me, Mike?” David speaks directly into my butt like it’s an intercom. “Mmmph mmm” Comes a reply. They’re talking? Now? “You can do it, just hang in there!” He flashes a thumbs up. “He can’t see that, dude.” I say as I finally find the ideal position for my prisoner’s nose. “Gotcha.” I relax as I glance at the timer and see the number 9:00. Plenty of time. I’m about to sit the phone on Mikey’s chest when I feel it vibrate, the name Jessica appears at the top of the screen. Mikey was a bit preoccupied with trying to find air pockets in my ass, so I picked up the phone and read the message she sent. “Hey babe, how’d the talk with your sister and her boyfriend go? Will they let you leave the house and come over? I miss you <3” I observe Mikey’s continuously clenching fists as he suffers beneath me. The talk has gone poorly, Jessica. The timer kept the phone unlocked, I could respond directly to the girl. This could be really fun, I was feeling particularly annoyed after remembering how the tattletale got me grounded for two whole weeks. I open the messaging app and begin typing. “Aww, i’m sure Mikey misses you too. But he mouthed off to me in front of my boyfriend so he’s in time out right now.” I wasn’t really sure how to phrase it, if I told her that Mikey was semi-willingly exploring my ass at the moment, she’d probably drop him right there. I didn’t want to totally ruin his chances at love, i’m not evil. I show the phone to David and place a finger to my lips, indicating to not say a word. He raises an eyebrow as he reads and his shoulders begin to shake with silent laughter. I begin to look back at the phone when a strange noise reminded me that someone was currently trapped between my ass cheeks. *slap slap* “MMMPH MMPH!” Mikey frantically slaps my thigh, hoping to get my attention. I rise up for a moment and the rapid gulping of oxygen can be heard as his face hits butt-free air. “Oh sorry, dude. Not so hard on the slapping by the way, that kinda stings.” I apologize and chastise at the same time as his breathing begins to return to a normal rate. “So how’s it going down there? Having fun? I got something for you!” “How…. much… long-PFFFT” He groans as I interrupt his question. I shake with laughter as I spread my cheeks, submerging him back into his poisonous purple prison. “About 8:00 more minutes. You got a bit to go. Try and figure out what I had for lunch to pass the time.” I say as I feel him groan beneath me, I take another sip of my soda. “You okay down there, Mike? That one wasn’t too bad, right?” David once again speaks into my backside like he’s talking with someone on the other side of a door. A faint grunt and a thumbs down are his only response this time. “What’s he saying, Mr. Translator? Did little Mikey get trapped in a dark cave? Is it smelly in there? Is his nightmare coming true?” I mock as I cup my hand to my ear imitating David listening for a response. “I think he’s probably saying he’d like to breathe.” David guesses. “Oh he needs air? I can help him out.” I lift my right cheek and we’re greeted by his small nose frantically taking in all it can. “Here ya go, bro.” *pfffrt* The sniffing sounds abruptly stop and are replaced by Mikey frantically scrambling to remove his head from my crack. *PHUU HOO* comes a frantic breathing from my butt prisoner. “Oh god… kill… me.” He breathlessly states. I can’t really get a good look at him from my position but I can feel he’s turned his head to the right, his quick breaths warming my ankles. “And just where do you think you’re going?” I scold. “You got 7:00 more minutes in there. Get back in the butt.” “Please… just a little... more… f-fresh air.” he pants. “Mmm okay. But I’m pausing the timer and you have to use that air to tell me how great my farts smell. So on a scale of 1-10, one being a flower and ten being the worst thing you’ve ever smelled” “...” “Well? Count of 5 before I shove you in my asshole.” “A… 7?” He quickly responds to my threat. I turn to David. “What do you think, babe? Is 7 good?” “If he’s rating them like a game critic that means it’s pretty average.” David says, his hyperfixation focused directly on the boy under my butt. “You’re saying my farts are just average, Mikey? How dare you call me average!” I haughtily respond as I lift up even higher so that I can get a good look at his red face. “How do you plead?” I demand. “You're … a bad babysitter.” he coughs. “I warned you, asshole it is.” “N-no!… Ten!! I meant Te-” I ignore his attempt at ass kissing as I grab the top of his head and force him back into my caustic cave, he fights well against me but ultimately finds his nose firmly lodged against my smelliest part. Defeated. “I’m starting the timer up again.” I say as I grab his phone. I am rewarded with his muffled groans at the realization of how much more time there was left. Or he might have been groaning because of the asshole thing. Whatever. I check to see if Jessica has responded to my text.
Chapter 5 “What? Where’s Mikey?” I show the message to David as I consider my options. I feel a rumbling in my belly, following immediate relief as a warm silent breeze washes over my prisoner, said silent breeze gives way to muffled screams and lots of frantic movement. I’m the very image of a rodeo girl as I stay firmly seated on the thrashing calf beneath me. I grab the top of his shirt to steady myself as I throw another hand in the air, lifting up an imaginary cowboy hat. Try as he might, Mikey is unable to pull his head out of my ass, much to his displeasure. “Jesus Allie that one was awful, probably the worst one today,” says David as he covers his nose and mouth with the bottom of his green shirt. “Just be glad you’re not nose deep in the source.” I say as I pull my black top over my mouth and nose. This one was bad. David produces a match from his shorts pocket and strikes it. Freeing the two of us from the smell permeating the room. He lies on his stomach and speaks to my captive once more. “That one was really bad huh, buddy? How you holding up in there? You okay?” I feel the rapid left and right movements of Mikey’s nose in my crack. His hands pushing at my thighs “I think I can translate babe, he’s saying… how much he loves me.” I laugh as I gently run my hands through Mikey’s short hair. I return my attention to Jessica’s text once more. I thought of a good response: “He wanted to call me a bad babysitter, so I decided to show him the SITTING part of babysitting. >:)” “You should give him some air, babe. That last one was a war crime.” David pleads on Mikey’s behalf. I feel kinda bad too. It’s the silent ones that always do the most damage. I had a new objective anyways. I give Mikey a momentary ceasefire as I stand up and turn around, my back now facing his feet. I subtly read Jessica’s message. “What did you do to him?” “Is it… almost… o-over?” Mikey begins to recover after a lengthy fit of coughing after finding his fleeting fart freedom. “5:00 more minutes in the hole, private.” I put on my best drill sergeant impression as I stand over him, saluting Mikey as I slowly lower myself, returning him to his smelly solitary confinement. “Why’d you turn around?” David asks as he stares at the top of Mikey’s hair, now visible under my crotch. “So I could see you of course.” I flirt as I pull David in for a quick kiss. During our kiss I get close to his ear and keep my voice low. “Help me take a picture with his phone.” David regards me for a moment. “Gee I dunno Allie, a picture is too much.” He says, far too loudly. I shush him and point a finger downwards. David silently apologizes. I give him a reassuring smile. “Think of it as away to know if the relationship will work? It might actually bring them closer together.” “I don’t see how… but okay. I got an idea. Let me talk to him.” Says David as he lowers himself to the floor in preparation. “Mmmph mmmphing?” Comes a strange sound from beneath me. I lift up and am once again greeted with the comedic sound of gasping and panic. “Hey buddy, how you holding up?” David leads with his good cop routine. “I’ve… I’m… bad. Dark… cave… stinks.” Mumbles Mikey. “R-right… anyways, can you do me a favor? Can you hold your phone up so Allie can see the timer? She’s tired of holding onto it.” This is your plan? “Phone… hand? What’s… time… how l-long??” Incoherently rambles my brother. “Time? Oh you mean time left. Allie?” I show David the front of the phone. “It’s about 3:00 more minutes, buddy. You got this. I know you can do it.” David encourages. “Thank… glue. Hey… what were you guys talking about... earlier? With the p-picture?” I shoot David a dirty look. You spoke too loud, goofball! “I think that’s enough don’t you, babe?” I say as I begin to lower back down onto Mikey. “W-wait not y-*PFFFRT*” Mikey immediately turns his head from the blast, but I reach down and begin pointing his face upwards.. “N-no! It’s… so bad. St-stop!” Mikey begs, trying very hard to fight against me. Exerting all the neck muscles he has. Which wasn’t very many. “Get. In. There.” I enunciate as I fight against him. Mikey makes a last ditch attempt to throw me off by quickly turning his head in the opposite direction that I was applying pressure. Unfortunately for him, I catch his forehead as he tries to outmaneuver me and manage to face him upwards. “Oh g-god, please Al-MMMMPH* I submerge his face deep into the source of the fart. You lose. “Shhh. shhh.” I whisper, scratching his head soothingly as he dry heaves into my ass. I begin laughing as David makes the Catholic sign of the cross. “He’ll be fine, dude. It wasn’t that bad.” I speak too soon as the awful smell that rises up seconds later makes me reconsider. “Oh… wow that is bad. Sorry Mikey. Hey light another match, babe.” I also make the sign of the cross as his retching dies down. “Okay gimme the phone.” whispers David as I hand it to him. I turn to follow him as he walks behind me, towards Mikey’s clenched fists. “Okay Mike, I need you to please open up your hand.” David politely asks. At first there’s no response. Then, like a scene out of a zombie movie, Mikey’s hand slowly twitches open. David thanks him and does something to the phone, he points to me and motions for me to spin around. I resume my normal squat and am surprised when David walks past me, turning around to face me at about three feet away.. “What are you do-*click*” I hear the camera go off behind me. Unfortunately I wasn’t the only one as I feel Mikey begin to shake his head left and right, trying to unseat me. I quickly reach behind me and pluck the phone out of his hand before he can grasp it. He attempts to lift me off of his face and actually manages to lift me a few centimeters. He’s gotten stronger since those three years ago. “No. No that was… David’s game.” I smile reassuringly as I look down at him from between my legs. His face tells me he isn’t buying it. “He isn’t even playing his game! A-Allie you can’t take p-pictures of m-MMMPH” I interrupt him as I tickle his sides, forcing him to lose his hold and drop me down onto him hard. “Tickle counter! Stop asking questions and get back in my butt. You’re almost free!” I reassure. I look up to a wide-eyed David in front of me. “You were supposed to put the phone on silent!” I hiss at David. He mouths the word “Sorry” to me and shrugs. I feel Mikey struggling much harder now I hope he doesn’t get carpet burn from all the shaking he’s doing. I don’t want to have to explain that to mom. How to handle this? Chapter 6 “Frag out!” I yell as a loud *PFFFRT* is blown directly into Mikey’s face. The blast saps his strength and he drops me once again onto his upturned face. This dummy doesn’t know how to look right. I feel the vibrations of his groans as he struggles beneath me. I seize the opportunity to open the chat log to Jessica and place the scandalous picture into the text box. I hover over the send button, not certain if I want to go through with this. If I actually ruined Mikey’s chances with this girl I’d feel kinda bad, he’s a total dork and tattletale but I don’t hate him or anything. Deciding against it, I move my finger to the delete key. Just then, Mikey’s hands flail upwards in an attempt to get the phone away from me. I instinctively lift my arms up when he grabs for it. This unfortunately leaves me in a rather vulnerable position. “W-wait Mikey!” In an all out attack, Mikey lowers his hands to my armpits and frantically begins tickling me! Using my own tickle counter against me! He was probably hoping I'd either drop the phone or fall. I begin convulsing in laughter, doing my best to remain seated as I hold the phone. “C-c-calm down, Br-at! D-David! H-help!” I laugh uncontrollably as my weak points are attacked. “Coming! I gotcha, Allie.” he states as he bounds towards me, reaching for my outstretched hands. “Qu-quick *Haha* if he keeps th-is u-up i’m gon-gonna-*PFFFFFT*” David stops and my laughter vanishes as I realize what just happened. I feel Mikey’s hands abruptly stop tickling me and instead fall to my hips, desperately trying to unseat me. That one was an accident. Sorry. “MMPH MMM” Comes the panicked voice from below. “Taste my counter attack, bruh” I joke as I grind my hips back and forth. He paws at my sides as I bring the phone back towards my face. Okay now to dele- I stare at the screen, panic rising in my brain. Mikey’s bumping beneath my butt must have caused me to accidentally hit send. Whoops! I...I’ll play this off like I totally meant to do that. I can’t show weakness! I give David a worried look and rapidly begin thinking up how to play this off. Hopefully this won’t be a massive failure. I compose another text on the phone. Time to fit a text with that picture: “Sorry if he smells like ass when you see him again. I’m really gassy and my boyfriend thinks this is hot. Sorry Jess. >:)” On one side, if she stays with him after this she’s perfect for him. On the other… I’m gonna feel really guilty. Mikey wrenches himself from his position and finds his head painfully pressed in between my butt and the carpet. “Y-you didn’t send it… did you? Please tell me you didn’t.” I scratch the top of Mikey’s head reassuringly. “D-Don’t worry! I’m helping you. If she sees this and still wants to be with you then she’s a real keeper!” “D-does she know everything?” He said. Panic creeping into his voice. “She thinks I forced you to do it because you talked back to me. I didn’t tell her you agreed to be my butt prisoner.” “I didn’t agree! And you did force me!” He protested. “You totally agreed.” I winked. “You love my butt. Farts and all.” I say as I give the cheek he’s under a quick slap. “N-no I hat-” *Beep deet de deet* Mikey’s own text tone cuts him off. We both go silent as I pick it up. “L-let me see what she said!” Mikey pleads. “You still got a minute left by the way.” I say as I guide his face back into the confines of my crack, his defeated moaning fills me with confidence. I open the messaging app. “U bitch! Stop it!” I have mixed emotions as I read the text in front of me. On one hand I detest being called a bitch and this transgression would not go unpunished. But on the other I was thrilled that she was standing up for my brother. It was kinda touching. I showed David and he once again spoke to my butt cheeks.. “She’s a keeper, Mike. She just called your sister a B-I-T-C-H.” “Mrrly?” Mumbled Mikey. I interject. “Yeah really! That’s great news, right? No need to be sad!” Or tell our parents… Mikey was silent for a bit, I was almost worried he passed out when the timer finally went off. *beeep beeep* I lifted off of his red face and sat back onto his panting chest for a moment as I read what this Jessica girl called me on the phone. When I look up, I’m surprised to see Mikey smiling. “D-do you think she likes me?” He asks. “Uhh yeah probably. If I got the text she did I’d assume you were some weirdo who likes smelling your sister’s butt. I’d have ran very far away.” I muse as I tap away on the phone. “S-so you’ll take me to see her now right? You promised? I stayed down there for 10 whole minutes! That was a nightmare!” I could see Mikey getting more upset at the mere thought I’d say no after his ordeal. “Yeah yeah don’t worry, brat. I had my fun. I’ll take you to see her.” I say as I finish composing my final message and press send. “That’s great A-Allie… but what did you just s-send?” Mikey asks with a tinge of worry in his voice. I smile at him as I lean in close. “I told her that since she called me a bitch that you were gonna have to pay the price for it.” I turn the phone around and show Mikey the most recent text message. “You wanna call me a bitch? Okay then, the pants are coming down. I’ll let Mikey know he has you to thank. Bye bye” I watch as the smile evaporates from Mikey’s face as he reads each word of the text. He looks up at me with true fear in his eyes. “B-but-” “Yeah. Butt. That’s what I was thinking too!.” I say as I grab the waistband of my pants and jerk them down to my thighs. Revealing a smelly pair of white panties. Thongs are uncomfortable. “W-wai-” “Remember to thank Jess, okay?” I say as I plop down onto Mikey’s face once more. His hands immediately travelling to my loosely covered cheeks in an attempt to lift me off. “C’mon Mr.Muscles, you can do it. Lift me, if you can lift me I’ll get up!” I say as Mikey grunts in an effort to dislodge his face from my underwear. I can’t hide how impressed I am as I proceed to levitate a few centimeters. This must be the power of love! At the height of his lift I begin to feel his weak arms shaking beneath me. “Losing your strength already, bro? I’m not that heavy am I?” I say as I begin gently swaying my hips back and forth in his hands. I can feel he’s still making the same mistake that he made 3 years ago, he’s picking up from the cheeks instead of the hips or thighs. He doesn't realize he's inadvertently spreading my cheeks wider. If he were to drop me right now he’d have a bad time. “You idiot, if you keep lifting like that i’m gon-*PFFFRT*” Whoops. That one slipped out. Mikey groans and loses what was left of his grip as his poor nose proceeds to check my temperature. “Yikes! Hole in one. Or… one in hole?” I say as I feel Mikey frantically scratch at my exposed thighs. “O-ow! Dude stop that hurts.” I chastise as I slap his hands away. “You better not have ruined these panties, brat!” Every bit of movement by me sends shivers down my spine. “Uh… you need help Allie?” I hear a familiar voice from behind me. “Ye-yeah David. I need to get him outta there. It’s super uncomfortable. Lift me up.” I raise an arm above my head and David lifts me to my feet. I’m surprised that I didn’t hear a loud *pop* as Mikey’s poor nose exited my backside. “Sup Mikey?” I say as I look over the red faced figure lying on the ground. “P-please… never… do… that… a-again.” Mikey stammers out as he takes in huge lungfuls of fresh air. “Oh c’mon it wasn’t that bad right?” I laugh as I pick the wedgie out of my crack and pull my pants up. “You did good, man. Ready to go to Jessica’s now? You’ve earned it.” David grabs my car keys as he picks Mikey off the floor. “Please. Get me out of this room. I need to wash my face.” He says as he rubs his beet red nose. Oh right. He totally reeks right now. “Yo, Mikey.” I call as I grab my jacket. “Y-yeah, A-Allie?” He turns to me, surprised as I wrap my arm around his neck. “Next time lift from the hips, not the cheeks.” I slap him on the back laughing as I walk past. “N-next time, A-Allie?” |
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