My Gassy Baby Sitter This is a true story; a high school girl used to come baby sit me every Friday while my mom and dad went out and sometimes on school vacations while my parents were at work. My baby sitter’s name was Liz. Liz always wore short sporty shorts and had a bubble butt with really nice legs and decent boobs. I was just kinda really getting into girls around then so I didn’t mind having her over. This particular time was thanksgiving, Liz had been pigging out on all our left overs and was watching tv in the living room. I came down to watch my show and she changed the channel so I could. After a few minutes of watching Liz turned and looked at me with a concentrating looking on her face and then I heard a low rumbling sound echo through the floor. Then she said “ahhhhh that felt pretty damn good” I laughed but then the smell hit me like a ton of bricks. I made a noise of disgust and put my shirt over my nose. ” I have had the worst turkey farts the past couple of days so get used to it” She said. Then immediately after leaned to one side and let go another little toot. After about half an hour Liz had moved to the couch to get more comfortable. I was sitting next to her watching tv still. All of a sudden I hear another bassy sound as I look over and Liz is letting loose another monster of a fart into a couch pillow. Smiling as she does it. Then says “omg I think I’m going to have to poop really soon, I can tell that ones gonna stink” She was right about both. She got up and shoved the pillow into my face, laughing hysterically as I smelled her rank fart through the pillow. “I’m giving you pink eye by putting my poop particles in you eyes hahahaha” She said as I squirmed. “Get off me you gross bitch” I said as I broke away. “Fine” she said, “I’m going to put the rest of my poop particles in your toilet” Then ran up stairs giggling. 20 minutes in I hear her say “Nate! A little help!” Oh no, I thought. I ran up the stairs and sure enough there was a big log around half the toilet and 3 little logs down the hole blocking it, The entire bathroom smelled absolutely terrible. Before I could ask why the hell she needed me in there, she ran out and shut the door.I tried to get out but she was infront of it with her foot on the opposite wall. I said “Why are you such a bitch! This shit stinks!” She replied,”maybe if you weren’t such a mouthy little shit I wouldn’t treat you like a little shit, little shits have to be in the bathroom” In her defense I was a little dick kid that swore way more than I should have for my age. “You can come out when you unclog the toilet then we’ll have a truce for the rest of the night.” She said in a serious but still laughing a little voice. I took the plunger and I plunged and I plunged and I plunged until all the poop flushed and Liz let me out in the fresh air. We shook the truce and went back downstairs to watch tv. Not without getting one last post-poop fart before it was time for her to go home, |
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