Mom's Farts Martin, a boy from London, came home from school, he got a failing grade. His mom, a 30 years old girl who is very nice, tried to comfort him. Erika (Martin's mom):"Don't worry, dear, I can help you studying" At dinner, Erika was eating broccoli and beans. Martin:"I remember when you cleared the whole house with your farts. I couldn't breathe at all, and had to go outside. Ewww that seriously stunk!" Dinner is over. Erika:"Shall we begin?" Erika sat down on the chair, pulled her pants down, while Martin was sitting on the floor. She put the belt around her waist and the back of his neck, and closed it very tightly. Martin's nose was right on her mom's butthole and the belt made it impossible to move, so, if her mom farted, the fart would get right on his nostrils, and he can't do anything to prevent it. Erika:"What's the capital of Argentina?" PRRRFFFTTT A noxious fart was released right into Martin's nose. He suddenly understood the true power of her mephitic farts. He immediately regret what he asked, but now, he has to do it two hours every day, and has no choice. He felt his eyes burning and wanted to puke, the smell was so strong, it smelt like very sour and potent rotten cabbage, and everytime he took a breath in he felt like he was going to die. "*sniffs* PUAAAHHH!!! MOM I'M GOING TO DIE! *sniffs* PUUU AU AU AU!!! *sniffs* AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! *sniffs* KHHH KHHH KHHH MOOOM!!! *sniffs* AAAHHH!!! *sniffs* PUUUAAAUUUKHHHKHHHKHHHPUUUAAAUUU!!!!!! *sniffs* PUUUUUU IT STINKS!!!!!! *sniffs* PUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH MOOOM YOUR FARTS ARE GOING TO *sniffs* PUAAAAAAHHH!!! YOUR FARTS ARE GOING TO *sniffs* PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*sniffs* PUUUHHH UHHH UHHH AUUUHHH AUUUHHH!!!" His mom was giggling. "Does it stink? Haha!" "Mom, it really stinks *sniffs* uuuhhh..., please let me go", "I'm sorry I can't do it, you asked me not to stop", "But... (crying voice) everytime I take a whiff *sniff* AUUUHHH, I get a headache", "I know it stinks, sweety, but you have to do it, you'll be the best student ever!", "(Crying voice) Mom, please, I can't handle it, *sniffs* PUUUAAAHHH IT'S UNBEARABLE!!!", "If you complain once more I'm going to fart again". "What's the capital of Chile?" Martin didn't want to breathe in that noxious stench anymore, he was trying not to breathe. "I'll give you 30 seconds, after that I'm going to fart", "Please mom, let me go", "I warned you" PFFFRRRFFFTTT "*sniffs* PUAAAHHH!!! MOM IT'S DEADLY!!! *sniffs* AAAHHH!!! THIS ONE IS *sniffs* PUUU!!! THIS ONE IS *sniffs* AAAHHHUUU!!! *sniffs* PUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *sniffs* *dry retches* (feeble voice) mom, please, I don't know the *sniffs* iiiiiiiiihhhhhhhhh uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh *sniffs* PUAAA... *sniffs* *dry retches* mom... we have to talk..." "Tell me anything, sweety... hey, I have to fart (smiles)" PRRRRRRFFFFFFTTTTTT!!!!!! "*sniffs* PUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! MOM, YOUR FARTS *sniffs* AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUU PUUU PUUU PUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!" "(giggles) That's what you wanted to tell me? Thank you, sweety (giggles again)" PFFFFFFTTT A silent but deadly fart was released into Martin's nose. "MOM THAT'S NOT WHAT *sniffs* PUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! NGGGGGGGGG!!! UUUHHH UHHH UHHH!!! *sniffs* AUUUAAAAUUUUUAAAAAAUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! *sniffs* PUUU PUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! MOM PLEASE DON'T *sniffs* GYAAAAAAUUUUUU PUUUAAAHHH!!!" (I have to talk fast), thought Martin. "What is the capital of Brazil?" "MOM WE HAVE TO TALK!" "That's not the answer, sweety" PRRRRRRFFFFFFTTTTTT!!!!!! "MOM, I WAS JOKING EARLIER, I DIDN'T MEAN TO... (lack of air) *sniffs* PUUUUUU PUUUUUU PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU PUUUAAAUUUAAAUUU!!! I DIDN'T REALLY MEAN IT!!! *sniffs* PUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "I'm sorry, dear, you asked for it, now you're going to smell mommy's broccoli and bean farts every day, well, unless you give all correct answers (smiles), and now that you complained..." PRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! "MOM PLEASE LET ME GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! *sniffs* GYAAAUUUAAAUUU!!!!!! PUUUAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! *sniffs* AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!! CAN I SMELL FRESH AIR FOR A MO... *sniffs* IIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! *sniffs* PIIIIUUUU!!!! OKAY I WON'T BREATHE ANYMORE!!!" "You can't do it, my dear" PFFFTTT Martin went 40 seconds without breathing, but then he had to do it, and the exact same moment he started breathing again, his mom let out another rancid fart. PUFFFTTTFFFTTT!!! (Oh no), thought Martin. "*sniffs* *has blurred vision* PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *CRIES LOUDLY*" "Don't cry, sweety, one hour and 48 minutes left (smiles)" PFFFTTT "*sniffs* PUUUUUUUUU NOOOOOOOOO *sniffs* PUAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" "What is the capital of Russia?" "I don't know..." PRRRFFFTTT "*has tears in his eyes* Eh no, mom, I won't breathe this time..." "You can't stop breathing, sweety" "I will breathe a lot less...... *sniffs* PUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! HELP MEEE!!!! IT STINKS DOWN HERE!!!!!!" "Hehehe" "How much time is left?" "One hour and 45 minutes" PFFFTTT "I will breathe a lot less, mom, that's the only way to bypass your punishment, I'm a genius...... *sniffs* PAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUU UUUHHH UHHHH UHHH!!! *teary eyes*" "If you keep doing that you're going to faint from lack of oxygen, breathe normally, dear" "No, mom, I can't, the stench is horrible *suffers from lack of air from holding his breath* *sniffs heavily* AAAUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dry retches a lot* *cries* (crying voice) MOM IT HURTS SO MUCH!!! DON'T MAKE ME DIE HERE!!! *sniffs* AAAUUUUUU PUUUAAAAAA!!!!!!" "One hour and 40 minutes left, what is the capital of Greece?" "Mom..." PRRRFFFTTT "*tears* Mom... I was joking... *sniffs* PUUUUUUUUU AUUUUUU!!!!!! MOM I'M GOING TO PASS OUT! *sniffs* AUUUPUUUAAAGYAAAHHH!!!" "Contrary to common belief, you can't pass out from a smell, sweety" "(Crying) but... I feel like it..." "You're just feeling annoyed by the nasty smell, don't worry, here's another one" PRRRTTTFFF!!!!!! "MOM PLEASEEEEEE *sniffs* GYAAAUUUPUAAAHHH!!! PUUUUUU IT'S DISGUSTING!!! *sniffs* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "One hour and 35 minutes left" "MOM I WON'T SURV..." PFFFFFFTTTTTT "MOM LET ME GOOO!!! *sniffs* AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUPUAAAAAAGYAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" "What does it smell like, sweety?" PFFFFFFFFFTTT "IT SMELLS LIKE A... *sniffs* AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUPUUUUUUPUUUUUUPUUUUUUGYAAAAAA!!!" "I can't hear you, sorry" PFFFFFFFFFFFFTTT "SMELLS LIKE A VERY NASTY... *sniffs* GYAAAAAAUUUUUUPUUUUUUGYAAAAAAKHUUUKHKHKHPKAAAAAA!!!" "One hour and 30 minutes left, but I'm going to end it here, woah, this room now STINKS!" "Thank you mom" "But first, what lesson did you learn?" "Not to mess with my mommy's natural stink bombs?" "No" PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTT "*sniffs* GYAAAUUUAAA PUUUU MOOOM!!! *sniffs* UHAAAUUUPUUUGYAAA!!!" "The lesson is: punishments are wrong. You have to treat others gently and explain what's wrong with their behaviour, not punish them. Punishments only bring unnecessary suffering, and if you want to be good at school, you don't have to punished, rather you have to study a lot and be constant in your studying" Martin's mom untied him and let him go. "Did you learn your lesson?" "Yes, mom, punishments are horrible! You should never punish anyone, never!" "Good boy!" She gave him a hug and then they both went to sleep. |
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