How I Met Her
by afangorn

I groaned and rolled over away from the sun and tried to go back to sleep but the pounding headache of an immense hangover wouldn't let me sleep. I groaned and sat up and felt my heart skip a beat when I realized this was not my bed and I had no idea how I got there. The panic clearing my headache a little, I looked around to get my bearings. I was in a small white bedroom of an apartment; the dresser top was covered with small feminine items like makeup, jewelry and some clothing. The alarm clock read 9:52 and on the floor next to the night stand was a crumpled Trojan condom packet. My eyes widening at that I looked around on the ground further and saw discarded clothing. But most importantly lying next to me on my left was a pretty woman of mid-to-late 20's and not a stitch of clothing I could see to cover her glorious curves. At least I didn't wake up next to a whale. I cautiously slid out of the bed and grabbed up my clothes and immediately checked my jeans' pockets.

Oh god no. I didn't have my car keys! I darted over to the window facing the curb and looked out. FUCK. I didn't see my car anywhere up or down the street. "Okay calm down" I whispered to myself. "Just because I don't see the car doesn't mean it's not parked in a parking structure or something nearby." I again looked at the pretty woman. She seemed to be of Spanish descent but I was always bad at telling that sort of thing. I groaned and sat in a chair by the desk and clutched my head. The hangover was coming back and god did it hurt! I hardly ever get hangovers unless I drank too much, and simply by the immense pain in my head I knew I must have set a record for myself last night. I got up and stumbled into the adjacent bathroom and ran the faucet, cupping my hands and drinking deeply from the running water. I rubbed some of the water on my face and dried before I quietly popped open the medicine cabinet and looked for an aspirin or ANYTHING to help the pain. I first saw 2 prescription bottles with the same drug listed on it that I ignored and grabbed up the bottle of Tylenol and shook out 3 pills that I gulped dry. "Fuuuuuck" I whispered in exasperation at myself. I slumped down onto the toilet seat and glared a little at the sleeping woman, hoping she would wake up soon. I knew better than to wake up someone after a drunken one nighter. If she didn't remember last night, she might think I was a rapist or burglar, and if she did that still didn't mean she wouldn't be pissed to deal with the hangover sooner. For a moment I debated about crawling back into the bed but decided against it in case she woke up soon.

I must have nodded off sitting on the toilet for a while, because the next thing I'm aware of is an alarm beeping from across the room. I looked up and watched a slightly bronzed arm reach across the bed and slap the clock. She groaned and rolled onto her back. After a moment she suddenly patted the side of the bed where I had been sleeping and she sighed dejectedly. "Aw, he left", she said aloud making me clear my throat to let her know I was still here. She sat up quickly in the bed and looked at me with astonishment that quickly broke into the most mischievous and delighted smile I have ever seen to date. "Ooooh goooood" she said to me curling a finger beckoningly at me. "I'm glad you didn't leave. I'm not inclined to shake you loose from my bed quite so soon, babe." I blinked in mild surprise at that, apparently we had a lot of fun last night. She slumped back into bed and sigh contentedly this time. "Oh babe, I never knew men like you existed!" she bubbled excitedly before she suddenly groaned and clutched her stomach with both hands. I thought she was going to be sick for a horrifying moment then when suddenly PPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRTUTUTUTTTUTUUTUTUTUTTUTUTUTUTUUOPSPPSPSssshh. OH. My. GOD. She birthed the single longest fart I had ever heard come from a human being in my life! It must have lasted a good 11 seconds! I tried not to show the disgust on my face when she looked at me again after a moment and spoke ÅgWhat? Not gonna go after that one too?" I felt my disgust vanish in a complete fog of confusion. Just what in the hell was the matter with this woman that she farts and asks me if I was going to get it? She must be crazy or thinks this is hilarious or something. She giggled a little at me "You don't have to be shy. Not after last night." I felt a dawning horror that I never felt before. What did I DO with this woman to lead her on into thinking I was interested in her that way?

Tentatively I asked her "Well, I'd be less shy if I could remember last night." I winced at my own tactlessness. Most women did NOT appreciate being told that you could not remember having sex with her. She laughed again and sat up in the bed a little and looked at me bemusedly. "Suuuure you can't remember, babe. I know I had more than my fair share to drink, but somehow I doubt that the man who chatted with me most of the night about various things, the man who gave up his car to his friends to drive back home and came back to my place where we had some of the best sex of my life says that he can't remember doing all that. Riiiight" I gaped at her. I did remember chatting with her for a while, but my memory gets foggy about then and I certainly don't remember giving my car to those guys to drive home safely. Fuck it would have been safer for me to drive home drunk then trust my car to them! She interrupted my thoughts when she slid out from under the covers. She was gorgeous. Curvy and smooth skin and delicious looking from every angle. She wore kiwi green panties that hugged her curves like a second skin; I could even make out the lips of her pussy. No wonder I jumped at the chance to sleep with her, she's gorgeous even when sober. She also walked in a very sexy way, kinda swaying her hips side to side as she came...right at me! "Hey, move! I need to use the toilet!" she pushed me as she said this. I jumped up and almost made it out the door before she kicked the door shut, jerked her panties down and twirled quickly to plant her cute butt on the seat. PHHHHUURRRRRRTSSSS "Ahhhhhhhhh" she sighed "Oh god, I almost didn't make it!" I backed away from her, tripped over the bathroom scale and fell into the tub knocking my elbow and the back of my head quite hard. BLUURRRTss "hey, you okay over there? Sorry about that the fan doesn't work right unless the door is closed, don't want the whole apartment-" PLAPLAPLAP "-ahhhh, don't want it smelling like shit". I groaned in response, my head and arm hurt like a sonuvabitch! I was too dazed to do the decent thing and get out of the bathroom and leave her to her privacy. She reached up and flicked the switch on the bathroom fan. "Hehehe, sorry, give it a minute or 2"

I looked at her questioningly, still rubbing my head when I took a breath and figured it out. Oh god the smell! I coughed and covered my nose but it was too late, the smell was everywhere. It smelled like overcooked cabbage and shit! I groaned trying not to breathe, but the one lungful of air I had taken in smelled so bad I coughed and gagged once. I took in slow breaths, trying my hardest to avoid the smell by burying my nose into the crook of my elbow. I felt my face flush a little, which was strange because I wasn't embarrassed about this situation at all, merely annoyed so why was I blushing? I took another slow breath and my face flushed more, and my heart began to beat harder and I was getting turned on. What the hell was the matter with me??? I closed my eyes trying to remember what happened last night. With her.... smell... dancing in my nose and lungs I could faintly remember something. I remember examining the curve of her ass as she lied on her stomach giggling constantly at something I was doing. Why did I drink so much?? She had to have been really drunk to not notice the slurring and stumbling. God that smell! My face was definitely turning red from the arousal it was sending through me. I was never more confused in my life, why was this woman's smell turning me on? While I struggled with these questions running through my head, she wiped and flushed but stayed sitting looking at me.

"Wh...What?" I asked. She sighed, and gave me a pouty look. "So...you really don't remember anything from last night?" I looked down in guilt and shook my head "I'm sorry, I barely remember talking to you last night. What I do remember, I like a lot... if it's any consolation" I looked around trying to think of something else to say. "I'm sor-"
"That just means we have to do it again. Just rebuild from the ground up!" she cut in. "Besides I was pretty drunk too, we could stand to have last night's escapades repeated in a less foggy state" she said with a damn near feral grin. She stood and pulled up her panties in a smooth motion and then grabbed my hand, "I'm Rachel, nice to meet you Daniel." Good to see she remembers my name, I guess. I shook her hand and muttered as loudly as I could while fighting down my blush and arousal "A pleasure." She grinned at me brightly. "How about some breakfast, stranger? How's scrambled eggs and tea sound?" I nodded and smiled at her and began to speak when I noticed her staring down at my waist. I looked down to check to see if my shirt had a stain or something, only to be greeted by the sight of my obvious erection. SHIT! I immediately shifted my legs so that it wasn't showing as much. "Awwwwww fine, be shy." She said playfully and she turned around and swung the door open as she flicked the bathroom fan off. My face red once more (with embarrassment this time), I struggled out of the tub and followed her out of the bedroom. She pulled on a shirt as she left the bedroom and winked at me as she walked by. I couldn't help but check out her sweet ass as she walked. It was smooth and round and looked like it would have a nice firm muscle under that bouncy layer of fat. I really picked a winner this time...at least in the looks department. I followed that gently swaying ass into a small kitchenette and sat in a chair at the tiny kitchen table pushed off to one side.

She cracked four eggs and whisked them in a bowl before pulling out a pan and began to cook the eggs, all the while humming merrily to herself. This woman was absolutely adorable as she happily cooked breakfast in nothing but panties and a blue t-shirt. As the eggs cooked, she poured water from the tap into a countertop hotpot and plugged it in. Her stomach growled a few times loudly, boy she must have been really hungry. Or at least that's what I thought before she turned to me and said "Well stranger, I don't want to put you off your breakfast," she winked at me again, "but all that beer from last night left me really puffed up. So excuse me for a moment, I need to air out." and with that she spun on her heel and left to back to the bedroom. 'Air out?' What the hell did she mean? I was tempted to go look but good manners and the fact that this was her home and not mine stayed me. As it turned out I didn't need to peek to find out; I easily heard what she was doing. PHUUUUURRRRRRRRTTTTTT! Followed by a loud groan of relief "ahhhh!" Oh. Air out. I get it. I felt my face flush again and I fought it down as best as I could while staring at the eggs cooking. I probably looked very silly because she giggled at me when she came back. "Sorry about that, beer does that to me every time" I nodded though I had never met anyone who had gas the morning after the binge. She whisked the eggs a bit more in the pan and poured the boiling water over teabags in two mugs, one that she placed in front of me. I drank it despite the fact I never liked tea; anything caffeinated would do at this point. I didn't know what kind of tea it was, but it wasn't half bad. For tea anyway.

I gulped down some more of the tea trying to wake up further as she served the eggs and sat down across from me. We ate in a comfortable silence. After we finished eating, she poured more water over the teabags in our cups. "So, stranger, what's your plan to get home?" Grateful for this safe and tame topic I responded happily "I'll call a friend of mine, he can pick me up. Where are we in town, anyway?" She smiled demurely at me, like a poker player laying down a winning hand as she spoke "We are downtown, about 10 miles away from the docks and east of the city proper." My eyes bugged out, we were still pretty darn close to the club we met at! But that also was a huge problem as the club was about an hour drive from home, at night without much traffic; it would take any of my friends 1 to 2 hours or more to drive here during normal day traffic. Well that plan was nicely put down. No way any of my friends could drive here, pick me up and get home in time for work. She snickered at me "You're cute when you're flustered." I blushed and stuck my tongue out at her (hey if I can't rationally argue back I might as well childishly argue). "Oooh, don't tease me. I might go in there and get it!" That got me to stop sticking my tongue out real quick! She snickered again "So what's your plan?" I sighed and said "Well, none of my friends can drive here and drive back home in time for them to make it to work. So I guess I'll call a cab" "Oh you will not! I'll take you home, I insist!" She blurted out. "That's not necessary Rachel, if I hadn't met you last night I probably would have taken a cab home anyway" "Really Daniel, I insist." Suddenly her stomach made a low moaning noise before a loud PHUUURT! exploded from her rear. "Okay, what's the deal with your stomach?" I blurted out rudely.

She blushed deeply for the first time and mumbled like a rebuked child "I have a chronic flatulence problem... I take medicine for it but it makes me feel so nauseous that I really can't take it daily. I... I'm sorry" God, I felt so ashamed for making her feel bad. She was staring down into her tea like she wanted to drown in it. "No, I'm sorry. It's not a big deal; I was just really confused by it. I've never met someone who ... you know... more than you in my life. I understand, it's a condition that you have very little control over, I'm sorry." She nodded a little at me "I can't hold down a regular job because of it. But that's okay; I make a lot of money as an editor and proof-reader from home." "That's good. I'm glad." She smiled again at me "Aww, you were all worried about upsetting me. How sweeeeet." Goddammit, what is it with this woman and embarrassing me?? I just sipped my tea and said nothing while she smirked in a self-satisfied way at me. She leaned across the tiny kitchenette table, "So you don't mind it huh?" "Well, no not really. It's not a big deal after all; it's just some air" She grinned "Good attitude!" then grunted and let off a low rumbling phruphruphrupupupupsssss "Ahhhhhh... god my stomach reacts so strongly to beer. Normally, it's not nearly this bad in the morning". I felt my face flush again with her smell in the air, god what the hell was the matter with me?? She seemed to notice it too, but merely smirked and sipped her tea instead of commenting on the hue of my face. She hopped up out of her seat and took my plate and hers and her empty mug to the sink then turned around and smiled at me in a cute way saying "Well, I'd better get dressed so I can take you home. You just sit tight." I blinked when I noticed she wasn't looking into my eyes when she said this and looked down to once again be greeted by the sight of a tent in my pants that she was eyeing. Dammit this woman really keeps me off-balance! Well screw that, if she wants to look she can! I spread my legs a tad to make the tent more obvious. "Oooh feeling playful now?" she murmured huskily. "Maybe. Maybe I figured you've already seen the goods and modesty is a moot point?" She gaped at me a little but then smiled adoringly and left for her bedroom.

HA! Take that! Now who's off balance? I finished my tea and put the mug in the sink. I looked around the apartment while she dressed. It was a nice one, though small and cozy rather than spacious and expensive looking. She kept it neat and decorated well. There was a nice painting on the wall of that looked like a snow capped mountain behind a vast forest. Well, it LOOKED like it, but it was in the wrong colors. "It's an original, my friend painted it for me. He could have put it up for auction with the rest of his works, but he's a good friend and he owed me a couple years worth of birthday presents." I turned, she was still wearing the blue shirt, but she also put on a knee-length skirt and a casual pair of shoes. She looked good. "The painting is very pretty, I like it. Very psychedelic" She nodded and waved for me to follow her out the door. I followed her down the hall to the elevator where we rode to the ground floor. She smiled angelically at me as she lead me out a backdoor to a parking lot that I vaguely remembered from our escapades last night and then she clicked a button on her car alarm and a luxurious looking car that I paused for a moment to eye. "It's not as expensive as it looks, but it is still my pride and joy" Rachel said reverently as she patted the shiny hood. I guess she really IS doing well for herself. "Why the car and not a bigger apartment?" I inquired curiously as I sat down in the passenger's side. She hmmm'd after she closed the door then smiled widely at me "An apartment can't do THIS" she revved the engine then nearly PURRED at the noise. "mmmmmh, nothing quite like the sound of an engine ready to go freeway speeds in a heartbeat." I smiled widely at that; she was just so damn cute when she smiled like that! "And I don't need a large apartment, I'm not one for loud parties at my expense and time cleaning up" I nodded in appreciation as she drove us out of the parking structure and onto the freeway. During the drive we chatted. She talked about her friend the artist a little, and about politics and sports. I told her about my friends and we shared a laugh about my concern for my car in THEIR hands. Before I knew it I was guiding her turn by turn into my neighborhood. I really liked this woman, she's funny and sincere and gorgeous. I actually felt regret that we were pulling in front of my home. So I smiled at her gently and asked "You want to come in? It's only fair since I got to see your whole apartment" An absolutely DELIGHTED smile spread across her face as she giggled and said "Sure, please!" She parked the car and followed me up the steps to my small home. When I opened the door she walked in and looked around like a tourist.

My place was rather small, a bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchen and a small "intimate" living room connected to the kitchen. She looked around the living room and then trotted into the kitchen "Hey IT'S CLEAN. This can't be a man's home!" I burst out laughing at her staged outraged voice and explained "I keep everything clean because I can't stand having mold in my place like some other guys can." She came back in from the kitchen all smiles "That's good, I'd hate to turn a plate over to find black and green stuff growing on it" I gestured to the other doorway "Bedroom and bathroom is that way and that's it. It's a nice comfy place." She immediately perked up "OOOH bedroom" and cackled evilly before darting into my bedroom. I quickly followed her because I couldn't remember if I cleaned up this week or not. Keeping the kitchen clean is one thing, but my bedroom is my bedroom darnit! As it turned out, NO, I did not clean my bedroom this week. FUCK. She giggled at the sight of my dirty laundry just lying about and looked around the room then bent over to examine my bookshelf. Phrrrutt! Her butt let off a sqeak as she leaned over " 'scuse me. Whatcha got to read here?" I blushed at how casual she was about passing gas and fought down my arousal when her smell hit me as I answered, "I-its mostly fiction and science fiction junk. Nothing philosophical or ground breaking there." She continued to read the spines of my books and I decided to take the opportunity to stare at her gorgeous ass. It was well defined as she bent over in that loose skirt, I could see some of her panty lines. After a few moments she slowly arched her back and said "If you keep staring at it like that you'll burn a hole through my skirt. Not that I'd mind if you put that hole to good use at least." ooooh no, not in MY home lady; no way am I gonna let you get me off balance in my own bedroom! I smirked and kept looking at her bottom and said "Don't tempt me I just might do it" as I sat down on my bed behind her, not even 2 feet away from her butt. Suddenly she backed up butt first then sat down right on my lap and right on my barely concealed hard on! "And what if I said I want you to do it? What if I said that I've been craaaving it since I woke up, huh?" She twisted around in my lap, grinding her butt against my hard on eliciting a small moan from me and looked into my eyes. "What if I said I want you to fuck me right now?" I didn't answer; I just kissed her deeply and wrapped my arms around her waist. She moaned into the kiss and pulled me down with her onto the bed. I pulled her shirt off and began to massage her breasts. She unzipped my pants and kissed me passionately as she tugged my pants down and off with a push from her foot. I unhooked her bra and began to kiss her breasts gently, teasing her nipples with tiny bites and gentle licks. She moaned deeply and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, keeping me pinned to her breasts which I happily played with. I began to suck on one of her nipples and twist the other with my fingers.

She gasped and moaned softly "harder", I immediately twisted her nipple a little harder and she moaned loudly. She raked her fingers down my back and back up tugging my shirt off, then she groaned and sunk her teeth into my shoulder. I moaned at her firm but not painful bite then tugged her skirt and panties down. I could feel the elastic of her skirt stretching a little too far over her bottom but I didn't care. She made a happy sound against my shoulder and reached down to pull my dick out of my boxer shorts and quickly slammed herself down onto it. I moaned when I felt her velvet walls clutch tightly around me as she slid on top of me. Suddenly a loud grumbling groan came from her stomach; it started out as a blblblbgrgllgl type noise by continued for a full 5 seconds into a near roar. I felt her abdominal muscles clench and moaned loudly when her pussy clenched tighter around my cock right before I heard a loud PHHUUUUURRRRRRRRTSS! She groaned in relief and let her weight rest on my body for a moment before I asked "Couldn't hold it in?" She glared at me and growled "oh shut up, you fucking loved it. Your cock is bigger than before!" I paused for a moment, she was right! Fuck it, why do I care what is normal or not? I grabbed her ass in both hands giving in to everything I was feeling and growled back. "Yeah I know" and thrusted hard into her. She yelped at the sudden motion and another PURT slipped out of her backside. I scrapped my teeth down her neck and whispered "Gonna do it again, huh?" and thrust again up into her. She groaned and dug her nails a little into my shoulder as another phrt slipped out, smaller than before. "Again?" I whispered as I kissed her and slammed my dick into her, no air escaped this time but she began to pound her pussy onto me in complete abandon. I moaned loudly and squeezed her luscious ass as she impaled herself onto my cock repeatedly. "Oh god!" she moaned and I thrusted with her, slamming deeper into her. "MMMH!" I moaned loudly and began twisting both her nipples. She bit her lip hard and whimpered as we approached our limits. I grabbed her hips and twisted so we were on our sides and fucked harder; she moaned loudly and started to kiss me deeply. Groaning with the kiss I came into her as she clenched in orgasm as well. PHRAAPRAPRAPRAPRAPRAPOPOPOPPLLSSSSS her ass roared after she finished. "Aaahhhhhh" she sighed in complete relief and contentment. I squeezed her ass affectionately and she nuzzled into my chest murmuring something unintelligibly. Prrrt! Prrrrt! He bottom continued to talk for a while which I ignored as I massaged her ass. I nibbled her ear and neck in the afterglow enjoying her bottom's repeated exclamations against my hands. She giggled against my chest and murmured " 'scuse me" I just kissed her forehead "Whatever makes you comfortable"
And that was how I met Rachel

I quietly shut the door behind myself as I entered Rachel's apartment. It's been almost 3 months since we met and we've been dating since then. It is almost scary how deeply I am falling for this woman and how much I have come to care for her. Today I decided to randomly drop by after work and spend some time with her. As soon as I took a step into the apartment, I knew something was wrong. The TV was quiet in the living room and I could not hear the clicking of her typing on her laptop or desktop computer anywhere in the living room. I walked past the living room into the kitchen and an odd smell caught my attention, it was familiar but I couldn't quite place it. Before I could ponder what my girlfriend had been cooking I heard her groan in pain from her bedroom. Immediately I ran to her bedroom door and knocked "Rachel, are you okay? I just stopped by, may I come in?" The only response I got was a louder groan so without preamble I opened the door and entered. Now I could identify the smell and my face flushed with arousal from it. The smell of her gas saturated the air of her bedroom and she was on her side groaning and rubbing her stomach in obvious pain. She was wearing nothing but a white shirt and panties I came around the bed so I could see her face; she was pale and in obvious discomfort. "Are you okay, babe?"

She groaned and looked up "NO, I'm not!" she said through gritted teeth. I had a meeting with one of the authors I work with over lunch at a steak house. I don't know what went wrong; I didn't order anything that sets me off like this. Small steak, rice and a salad. I don't know what went wrong..." She groaned again and curled up tighter against her stomach and I sat on the bed and began to rub her back in what I hoped was a soothing motion. She whimpered pitifully and sniffled, my poor girl. I slid into bed behind her so I could reach around and rub her stomach too. She merely moved her hands away and let me rub her stomach for her. Oh wow, she was VISIBLY bloated. Her panties that usually fit snug over her delicious bottom and fine over her stomach was stretched tight and biting into the skin of her stomach. I pulled the front of her panties low on her hips so that it wouldn't press on her stomach so hard. She sighed a little in relief and whispered "Thank you", I kissed the back of her neck and said "Anytime, love. I wish I had got here earlier. Did you take your meds for it?" She growled at me "Of course I fucking took my meds; I took a double dose and called the doctor to ask what was the maximum I can take in one day! I can't take anymore for another 2 hours" She whimpered again and shuddered in my arms. I kept silent and rubbed her stomach gently for a moment when she tensed and grunted "Hrrm..." followed by a brrrt from her butt. She grunted again "Hrrrm!" and her bottom spoke up with a FFFRRRT. Another louder grunt followed by a moist blast BLUUUUUURRRRRRTUTUTSS! from her bottom and she groaned in relief. "Better?" I asked her. "Hardly took the edge off" she groaned as I continued to rub her stomach. Rachel cuddled up against me causing my slight hard-on to press against her bottom. "Are you actually hard??" she asked in an exasperated tone. "Sorry, hun, you've trained me too well to be turned on by your smell" She elbowed me and said "Oh hush, you loved it from the day we met." Despite her tone she pressed her ass tighter against me and turned away to hide her smirk.

I kissed the back of her neck softly and pressed a hand on her stomach right below her navel, I must have pressed too hard because Rachel gasped in pain and leaned forward clutching her stomach again. "Damn iiit" she groaned before I felt a hot quiet breath against my lap. I blushed with the realization that she just farted and I felt it through my jeans. "Ahhh" she sighed and leaned back cuddling against me "That one took the edge off." I nuzzled her neck and whispered "Good, I thought I hurt you for a moment there." She put her hand against the back of my neck and twisted a little in my arms and kissed me. I felt her stomach gurgle angrily when she pulled herself tight against me, "You didn't hurt me, just another cramp bubbled down right then. I just feel so bloated." I kissed her cheek and said "I know I can feel your stomach", suddenly she stiffened in my arms. "Excuse me??" I blinked "Um, what?" "Did you just say you can FEEL how bloated I AM?" Uh oh; damage control. "I didn't mean that you felt bigger honey, but when I'm rubbing your stomach I can't help but feel the way your stomach isn't as firm as it usually is." Crap, she's not buying it. "NONONO, that is not what I meant. I know I look like a blimp! I just don't care. But for you to say you can FEEL how bloated I AM is just rude. Apologize." I glared at her. Apologize for saying something so innocent? I don't fucking think so, Ms. Crabby. "No. I didn't mean it that way and you know it." "Oh really? Is that your final answer?" she asked coyly. I nodded and glared at her as she spoke "Hmph. Well this is for your own good." Suddenly she whipped her legs up together and pivoted on her hips up and over onto her knees from her side and she quickly planted her knees against my arms and her butt right against my face. I squirmed and shouted "What the hell, Rachel??"

"Shut up, Dan. You're learning to never assume you know how my stomach feels." and with that she grunted loudly for a long moment "HRRRGH", I felt her stomach push as she strained then FRPRPRPRUPUPUPPSSSSssss her ass roared at me. I could feel her hot gas pass over my face and nose and mouth. It smelled like overripe fruit and curry spices and made my eyes water a little despite being closed by her bottom. "What the fuck, get o-" she slid forward a little bit quieting me by planting her panty-clad pussy over my mouth. I squirmed as hard as I could under her ass but all I did was wedge my nose further up her crack. "I'm gonna show you just how much gas my stupid stomach can make when it wants to..." she growled as she shifted into a squat still pinning my hands down with her feet."Ahh that fits better" she giggled as my nose slipped up perfectly between her bouncy cheeks against her anus. I refused to be easy on her though, I bucked and squirmed and writhed but she had caught me in an awkward position while I was half on my side and had pinned my hands down good. I really didn't want to hurt her by literally kicking her off me, but she was heavy and my nose wasn't meant to support her! "Stop it!" she growled at me and another quiet breath of air whoosh from her bottom. I felt her asshole stretch again right up against my nose before frrrrp escaped from her. "Ugh now it's ALL moving, see what you did??" She groaned and leaned forward over her stomach, taking the weight off my nose and making me groan in relief. PRRT her ass said angrily at me. PRRTUTS! It spoke again before she planted my nose tight in her ass again. "Sniff that. The room already smells bad enough without adding to it, so get it good" And I did, it's not like I had a choice about it; it was either breathe her air or not breathe. I felt a little dizzy from breathing in her fumes so close to the source and squirmed weakly. She giggled in a self-satisfied way while she bounced her ass against my face for several minutes.

Rachel leaned forward again and I jerked when I felt a light scraping against the crotch of my jeans and tried to wiggle my hips away but the scratching persisted. She was using her nails to scratch against the fabric of the crotch of my jeans sending a slight tickling vibrating sensation up my privates. At first it felt ticklish and strange so I squirmed, but after a minute or two I felt my face flush as the sensation became more arousing than tickling. Prufffss her ass whispered at me as she continued to "tickle" me, between her smell and the sensations she was giving me I really turned on. I moaned piteously at her and she simply giggled at me and stopped to instead rub her stomach. Prruut! Phrrrtotss! Blort! She let off a strange 3-toned fart. "Ah! Did you hear that? My ass just said 'I love you', I hope you appreciate that!" Rachel said as she burst into a fit of giggles. My eyes watered more as my nose was assaulted by this fresh addition of gas to my breathing air. The smell of her everywhere, not just her gas but the musky smell of her arousal, it just set me off like nothing else, like it always did. I opened my mouth and began to suck on the front of her panties and her outer lips they were covering. "EEH!" she squeaked loudly in shock. I rubbed my tongue up and down the front of her panties then sucked hard again. "Mmmmhhh" She moaned then slid her panties down, and with a quick hop pulled them off her hips stretched between her thighs. "If you're gonna do that, do it right" she growled at me. Good, now she has to push her weight forward off my nose for me to properly eat her out. I slid my tongue up and down her outer lips before pushing forward and pressing my tongue lightly against her inner lips. I flicked my tongue up and down again as firmly as I could against her inner lips eliciting a drawn out moan from her. On impulse, I teased my tongue into the gap between her inner and outer lips and traced all the way around her pussy slowly. Rachel began to moan and pant softly; she must have really liked that. I pulled my tongue back and scraped my teeth against her outer lips firmly before pushing my tongue back into her slit.

"Ahhh!" She gasped and began to grind her pussy against my tongue and lips. Ffffffsssss a hot breath of wind crept out of her bottom and rushed against my nose and forehead. She wasn't even pushing it out; it just came out under its own pressure. I kissed her inner lips and finally pushed my tongue past them and rimmed the opening of her pussy, first one way then the other before drilling my tongue into her. "Hnmmm" she groaned in pleasure and stopped grinding to let me have free reign. I squirmed just a bit as I pressed my tongue against her inner walls and freed my hands, then reached up and began to rub her clit. She gasped and moaned loudly as soon as I touched her clit. Good, now's my chance. I grabbed her thighs and grunted loudly as I lifted her off my face a little then slid out from under her. "Hey, HEY, I didn't say stop!" She whimpered at me just before I sat up and flipped her over onto her stomach, spread her legs and returned to my ministrations. She moaned happily and lifted her hips to give me better access "Good boy", she patted my head patronizingly. I licked her clit gently, but just as she moaned I pulled back and nipped her butt cheek for her comment. "OW!" She shouted even as I went back to pushing my tongue as deep as it could go into her. She growled playfully at me "Don't get feisty with me, mister!" phhrrrrRRRRRRTUTUTutssss she pushed mid-release to blast me soundly. I ignored her loud ass except to squeeze it gently as I continued licking. She started to really moan now, gasping and clutching at her pillow. "Ah! Ah!" she moaned and began to squirm. I grabbed her thighs to steady her and slowly licked her clit with the entire length of my tongue. "OOoooOOH!" she moaned before I pushed my tongue back against her inner lips. I reached around her thigh and began to rub her clit again. Rachel pressed her hips down against my hand rubbing her clit and began to rub in time with my fingers. "Mhmmm MMH!" she moaned and tried to restrain how loud she was getting with her hand. Her juices were flowing so freely that some dripped down my chin and neck. She began to moan into her pillow and I could feel her tense up. I poked the tip of my tongue against her clit and around it in a firm circle. As my tongue completed its second circle of her clit, I slid 2 fingers into her and slowly twisted them clockwise and back inside her.

In a drawn out moan she came, nearly wrenching my fingers with how tightly she contracted around them, then sighed and limp against the bed as I licked my fingers clean. "Mmmmh that was nice, honey." I cuddled up with her again and whispered in her ear "Except for the part when you nearly crushed my nose. At least your after-sex gas should ease some of the tension for you." She groaned in embarrassment, "Oh shut uuup, you know me too well, darn it!" I kissed her ear "Don't be embarrassed, it's just your body telling me that it had a good time." Even as I spoke, already her stomach started making funny noises. She pressed herself tightly against me while I idly drew little circles around her hips and side with my finger. For a while we just laid there happily until Rachel groaned and clutched her stomach again, sending a spear of guilt through me. "Maybe I shouldn't have done that?" I thought as she groaned and curled up around her stomach again. All the twisting and contracting from making her cum always pushed a little air out of her, but maybe now was not the time to try that tactic. I tried to reach in and rub her stomach but she had hunched over too tightly for me to get at it, so I settled for patting her back. I guess we're back at square one now, my poor girl. She whimpered and shuddered horribly and I began to panic at her obvious pain. FFFFRRPPTPTPTPTPRRRUPRUPPUTUTUTUTRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSsssss A gargantuan fart simply exploded out of her for I don't even know how long, I was so captivated by her ass watching it bounce and shake a little with the sheer force of her gas. When it finished off in a burning hiss Rachel sighed contentedly "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, oh my GOD that felt like I lost 10 inches off my waistline!" she whispered out huskily as she stretched out and pressed herself back against me purring with relief. Tentatively I poked her stomach "Ow, stop that" she mumbled. I pulled her into my arms and asked "Still blimped up?" she sighed and nuzzled her head under my chin. "Yeah, a little. But at least now I think I can stand up to open a window, phEW it smells! You, mister, did NOT do a good job sniffing it up" I nibbled her ear while she spoke until she asked "So you think you can open that window now? Pleeaaase?" "Oh and what was all that talk about feeling good enough to do it yourself?" Prrrrt her bottom growled at me as she said "Oh come on, pleeeeeaaaase?" Rachel whined. I sighed and opened the window for her then crawled back onto the bed next to her. She twisted around and kissed me twice "Thanks for being such a good sport" she whispered "That was a lot of fun for me, we should do that again sometime" I blushed at that idea and she smirked as I spoke "So long as we figure out how to do it without breaking my nose, it really hurts now." She kissed the very tip of my nose sweetly and said in a playful voice "Sorry, nose. I'll be sure to shove you in deeper next time so my weight is on his cheeks instead" I rolled my eyes and began to rub her stomach again.

She shifted a little bit then whispered "No, I think now I'm good enough for some of those real massages you learned." Ah, I was wondering when she would want me to get mean with her stomach to get her gas out. The first time she had a real bad gas attack, the following day I went out and bought half a dozen books on massage techniques and muscle relaxation and have since been supplementing the books with online demonstrations. I wasn't anywhere near professional level, and sometimes the techniques require I press down too hard for her to bear it, but it usually worked and for that it was worth all my time. "Okay then, roll onto your front first." She did so and I straddled her thighs, leaned over and began massaging up and down her spine slowly relaxing her tensed up back. After a few minutes when she was relaxed enough I got off and rolled her over myself onto her back then straddled her thighs again. She looked up at me giving me the most loving smile I ever saw, I just had to lean down and kiss her. She kissed back, slipping me a little tongue but then poked my chest and ended the deep kiss with "Massage first, nookie later." I smiled and nipped her bottom lip before I dug my fingers into her abdomen, pushing and following the shape of her large intestines from the beginning to the end. Her stomach made a few bubbly gurgles and Rachel's face twisted up in discomfort, I had to press down hard or else I wasn't moving anything. A few minutes of pressing and pulling at her skin listening to her stomach growl before finally PRRRT prrrrt plplplplplup came out of her as she sighed and whispered "Keep going" I nodded and started again from the beginning but jumped when Rachel gasped in pain and pulled my hands away. "Keep going" she said again after a moment, I didn't press down quite as hard pushing and still she gasped in pain. Deciding to try it from a different angle, I slid off her thighs and lifted her legs and began stretching her legs up against her stomach, out, back together, then against her stomach again. Soon I was pressing her legs into her stomach and pushed a flrrrt from her, I pressed her legs down once more and another flrrrrrt popped out of her. Just to be funny I stretched her legs again then when I brought them back and pressed down I bounced her legs into her causing a blurrt...rrrt...rrrt to come from her. We both laughed at the odd sound she made. "Stop playing with me like that" she giggled as I slid down between her legs and kissed her on the lips. Mid-kiss she suddenly pushed me off her, I sat up as she did and asked "What? What's wrong?" she shook her head at me and held her stomach for a moment before she opened her mouth and belched loudly. I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. Even as she hit me saying "Stopitstopit, it's not funny!" I kept laughing. I pulled my poor, cute gassy girl into my arms and hugged her as she settled down. "It's not funny" she grumbled at me as I held her hand.

She pressed against me with her breasts then kissed me firmly on the lips as she pushed me onto my back straddling me. She deftly unzipped and unbuttoned my jeans then tugged them down to my ankles before she spoke, "You were a good boy today. You got a lot of that nasty gas out of me and even tongued me out without so much as a whimper for your own turn. And I just KNOW" at this word she ground her pussy hard against my dick through my boxers "-that you were dyyyying for your turn. I KNOW -another grind- how much it was turning you on". She unbuttoned my boxers and my hard on jumped out of the open gap causing her to smile in a feral way before she sat on it and pushed it right inside her without a word of preamble. "Mmmmh", she moaned softly into my ear then spoke again. "You are such a good man, you know that? I love you" I pulled her down and kissed her lips before whispering back "I lov-" suddenly she contracted her pussy hard around my cock causing me to gasp and moan. "I'm sorry I couldn't hear you quite well, what was that honey?" she huskily whispered as she nibbled my ear. "I loOOVE you", I managed to get the words out despite the sudden rush of pleasure as she contracted again. She whispered in my ear again "Your dick in me... it's pushing some gas around...can you feel it?" I shook my head no, "Push it out" I said. "No. I want to see how much bigger it'll get." Again she contracted, sending a lightning bolt up my spine causing me to moan then glare at her "Are you going to move or just taunt me?" she grinned at me "What? You're a bigboy; you don't need my permission to do something." I growled as I pushed her over onto her side and began to thrust into her as hard and as fast as I could. "GAAHHHH" she gasped and wrapped her legs around me and pulling me on top of her. I squeezed her breasts tightly in my hands and rolled her right nipple between my fingers. I continued to fuck her as hard as I could while I leaned down and sucked on her left nipple eliciting a strangled moan from Rachel. She wrapped her arms tightly around me, pinning me against her breasts which still wobbled against me with each thrust. I bit down on her nipple firmly causing her to dig her nails into my back in a drawn out moan "aaaooh!" She panted and began to thrust up with me in time. After a few moments I ran my hands all the way down her sides and began to squeeze her ass and hips as I pounded her. Suddenly I felt both our bodies clench in orgasm as one, or maybe she came first and it sent me over the edge wasn't too sure because I was too distracted by Rachel rolling us over again so she was on top and immediately placing my hands firmly on her buttocks. She nuzzled my chest for a moment before grunting out a PLAPLAPLAPRRRRtssss against my hands and sighing dramatically in relief.

I kissed her on the nose as whispered barely articulately "You're the greatest" as I fell asleep with the woman I love.