GASSY MS. GARNER AND I
by sibon13

Perfect. Just perfect. For the first time ever I'm stuck in detention... and for what? Just because I had the 'audacity' to defend myself against those jerks. Not only did they deny that they threw the first punch but also convinced everyone else to say that it was I who started it. What a load of bull. 

The other benches are empty. Except for Ms. Garner, I'm the only one here. At least I have something pretty to look at while stuck in this prison. She's a bit chunky but that's alright. I've always liked bigger girls anyway. It's funny. Every time she accidentally knocks down something with her plump butt, I'm the only one not laughing and she always give me a warm smile when that happens. She's so darn adorable.

That ass she has. It's out of this world. Not size wise but its shape is just amazing. Don't get me wrong, each cheek is big as my pillows at home, but as I said, there's something about their shapes. Perfectly round and firm yet they quiver like jelly with each step she takes. Obviously I haven't touched them but I bet that they are very soft and smooth. Ah well, back to studies--"

*BLLRRRFRT*

What was that? Did Ms. Garner just rip one? Her chubby face is so red and she looks so embarrassed. That's just so precious! Not the fart but her reaction to it. I think--"

*PRRFFLRLRLRRRRFRBLRPT*

Another one?! Jeez, I've never seen her so ashamed before. Holy hell, the smell has made its way over here. Damn, it reeks! Worse than anything I've ever smelled. What does this woman eat during the day? Just keep your composure and relax! Twenty minutes to go, you can do this! If I pointed it out, she'd probably be even more embarrassed and I don't want that to happen.

"M-Matthew?" Oh god, she's talking to me. It seems hard for her to speak. Heh, she's even trying to hide behind her tangerine bangs. Nawww, I want to see her pretty blue eyes. They're so-- wait, what are you doing, you damn fool?! Answer her!"

"Yes, Ms. Garner?"

"...sorry."

"About what?" Just hide it, despite the gagging feeling. Just hide it, despite the urge to cough. Just hide it, damn it! She can't find out that I'm bothered by it.

"Oh... nothing." It seems like she bought it. What a relief. Last thing I want to do is to explain to my teacher that her farts are horrifying. Phew... ah well, back to--"

*BLLLRLRRRRRFFRFRRRoooOOOORRRRFFFRRRRRPPLLLRRRFFRPLLARPFT* "Oooh no..."

Oh my fucking god! Is she kidding? How can a cute thing like her create such terrors? Hell, I can even see a puff of green smoke rising from her back. Nononono! Don't fly over here, damn gas! Notebook, to my rescue. Blow away this nasty stench! Oh no, she's looking at me again. She's biting her lower lip and a sweat drop is running down her forehead. Why does she look so content? 

"Ms. Garner, are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine... just fine. Wh-why do you ask?"

I DON'T want to get into a conversation talking about her flatulence. Not in a million years. Quick, change the subject or come up with an excuse! Uhm, 'you look a bit pale?' No... hmm, how about 'did you hear something?'. Nah, that's just stupid! Wait, I know...

"Can you please help me with this equation? I just can't figure it out."

"Sure!"

Good, that got her to stop thinking about it. Her beaming up like that is one of her best qualities. It is amazing how much you can cherish helping others. While she is a bit ditzy and scatterbrained, there's no denying that she's a very kind young woman. It's a bit silly but I'm having a bit of a crush on her... to be honest, I've liked her even since I started high school.

"It's this one..." When she bends over like that to get a closer look, there's no way I can resist leaning back to watch her rump wobble about. She's like a happy dog, wagging it back and forth like that. That jean skirt sits so tight. Oh, it's hugging her skin so beautifully. I just want to give it a slap... if it wasn't reeking like a sewer plant.

"See, Matthew. You're supposed to move that number there and--" *PRRRRFFFFRRRPRAAFRT* *BLLRRRRRFOORRFFRPLRT* "...and... and... that B shouldn't be used until--" *PRFT* *PFFRRRRRLLLRRRooORRRRFFFRRRFFRFRRRRRFRLRRALRPT* "... and... n-no, that's not r-right..."

Lord almighty! Where does all that gas come from?! It just keeps spewing out of her like a damn fountain. This is beyond awful, beyond disgusting! It's getting hard to breathe. My nostrils can't handle this kind of torture. Is she doing it deliberately or is it just accidental? Why does it matter?! It's not making things any less gag-inducing.

Her face is redder and sweatier than ever. All the vibration from her butt just caused her whole body to twitch, as if a surge of pleasure was running through her. Is she really enjoying it? But, if that's the case, why is she acting so embarrassed about it. Man, now I'm curious...

"Ms. Garner... c-can I ask you something... *cough* ...p-personal?"

"Wh-what is it, Matthew?"

Just ask, damn it! Come on. "Do you like to fart?" Wow, couldn't you make it a tad blunter, you stupid twerp? Why did I open my mouth to ask that? Jeez, just wonderful. Now Ms. Garner will never look at me the same way again. Just look at her, the poor woman is shivering like a leaf.

"W-well, wh-what... why... uhm... I dunno... do you?"

FUCK! NO! No frickin' way! No matter how cute or sexy a girl is, I'd never go so far to liking her farts. Even when she looks at me with those glimmering eyes and smiles with those plump, moist lips... wait, no! Despite that, I'll NEVER enjoy--

*PLLRRRRRLRRRRooOORRFFRPLPRAT* "H-how about that?" 

Wait, is she seriously trying to get me to like them? This must be some kind of sick joke. There must be a camera hidden here somewhere. Not there! Not there! Maybe under my desk? Nope! My super-hot teacher is asking me if I enjoy the smells exploding out of her ass. It HAS to be a joke!

"Ms. G-Garner, I don't--"

And there she wiggles her butt again. It's so entrancing, so hypnotizing. It almost makes me forget about what she's preparing to do. No doubt about it. She's trying to seduce me.

*PRRRRRBBLRRRFFFRRRRoooOOORRRRFFFBLLRLRLPT* "Do you l-like them... wet? Like th-that one?"

Where's a friggin' gas mask when you need one? For the love of bunnies on a pogo stick, this woman has problems! I'm not even remotely showing interest, yet she continues. It's like some sort of twisted horror flick. 

"Ms. Garner, please! I have no-- mmmph!" And now I'm suddenly trapped between her cheeks? What the hell! She's got some serious ninja skills for someone her size. I shouldn't really complain being this close to dat wonderful ass but this smell... it's atrocious. Ewww, there's even a brown spot here. Fuck, this is too much. It's not worth it!

"I've n-noticed how you've l-looked at me..." *BLLRRFRPT* "... I know you're a lot younger than me, but--" *PLLLRRRFFFRBBLLRRAAARFLPT* "I don't mind… you can look at me and smell me as much as you--" *BLRRFPT-PRRRRFFFRRRRROooOORRFFRRLLLLRRRRAAARRRPPLRT* 

Vision… getting blurry. Sense of smell… gone. I can't taste… anything. Is she trying to kill me?! If so, she's doing a great job so far. This can't go on! I have to draw the line RIGHT NOW! Just push her away and give her a piece of your mind. Look her straight in the eyes and say… those magical glistening innocent eyes--NO! Focus! She's just farted in your face, man! Can you really let her get away with forcing this foul stench into your lungs?

"Ms. Garner!"

"Y-yes, Matthew?" That sweet voice would be able to melt even the coldest of hearts. Lips… widening. Can't resist to… smile! Her whole face is just so… D'AWWW! She's like a sweet little child. You just can't be angry with her.

"I-It's five PM…"

"Oh, well then… Matthew, you're (unfortunately) free to go. I have to excuse myself for my… odd behavior. I don't know what got over me all of a sudden. It's just that… I… I…"

"How about we just… uhm, don't talk about it."

"S-sure… Matthew?"

"Yeah?"

And once again she leans in, her innocence just gleaming more than ever. God damn it, I know what she's gonna do but for some peculiar reason, I don't care. Might as well give her the pleasure to do it one more time before I leave… 

*BBRRRLRLLRRRRFRFFRFRFRFRFRFRRRRRRLLLRRRRRPPRPRRAARRRPPT* "Mmm… see you tomorrow, Matthew."

"Sure, Ms. Garner…"