"Chris!"

Maybe if I just don't respond she'll give up.

"Hey....Chris!"

Just be still.

"Chris stop jerking your little baby dick and get the fuck in here!"

Chris sighed while getting up from his desk and opened the door.

"Yes?" he groaned.

Jackie looked at him with a strange expression.

"Wait...were you really..."

"NO!" Chris exclaimed, face slightly red. "No Jackie I was not doing...THAT."

"Oh PHEW," Jackie said with a relieved sigh. "cause I know you straight guys get all bent out of shape when your porn is interrupted."

Chris shook his head. "Why straight?? Wouldn't anyone get annoyed if they were interrupted doing...ugh, what do you want?"

"Uh, it's FRIDAY? I just got FIRED, remember?"

"Oh right," Chris grimaced. Rent was going to be a struggle for a while now.

"...so, let's celebrate! Drink with me faggot." she said as she punched him in the arm.

"Celebrate your firing? What??"

Jackie walked over to the cupboard and got out her handle of vodka. She was 5'4", wore black jeans, a small leather jacket and a pink sleeveless top that had a skull on it. She was olive skinned, possible Croatian and maybe Latin, Chris wasn't quite sure. Her butt was definitely her greatest feature; for such a thin girl she really had some plump cheeks. She had a short tomboyish hair cut that chris actually liked. He had a weakness for tomboys.

"Uh, duh?" Jackie said sarcastically. "You think I wanted to work at Robeks? Loud ass blenders? Bitchy ass customers? 'Are your smoothies vegan?'" she said in a mocking white girl voice. "I don't know bitch, is this vegan?"

brRAAAmp

From across the room she turned her butt slightly to face Chris and cut a short loud fart while biting her lip. It had some weight to it and echoed in their kitchen slightly. Her tight black jeans amplified the sound of the butt blast and Chris could feel his penis move in his pants slightly.

"Nice," Chris rolled his eyes, despite absolutely loving her fart. "Real classy."

She sighed and laughed.

"Fuck em, I'm gonna work for my uncle at his car shop."

"You hate cars.."

"I hate you too, faggot! Now drink with me."

******************************************************************

"I should be studyinggggg.." Chris groaned, now 3 shots in.

"Fuck that," Jackie said as she took her 4th shot. "Stop being a faggy little bitch boy."

"Jackie, you can't say that..."

"What word."

"The fuh...you know, the F word."

Jackie brought her nose right up to his. "You mean the FAGGOT word?!"

"Augh, YES. WHY?!!"

"Because I am allowed to say it. It's not a big deal to me. If you say it? I'll beat your ass." she said, punching him in the arm again to prove her point.

"Owwww...god you're such a bitch."

Jackie looked at him for a second, then shifted on her right cheek.

"I'm not just a bitch, I'm a gross bitch."

bRRRRRRrrruummmP

Jackie let loose a long bassy, warm fart that rumbled the couch and Chris's waist. This was the first time a woman had directly farted on him and internally he was losing it. Of all the luck in the world, Chris happened to have the gassiest roommate known to man and she was a hot tomboy lesbian.

"Aughhh.." Chris groaned, pretending to hate her fart. "that was a big one."

"Yup," she grinned. "breathe it in, bitch," she laughed as she wafted it from the crotch of her jeans over to his face.

"You fart so much."

"Yeah, I am lactose intolerant. But I had nachos and milkshake today because," she paused to lean over again. buuurrrrrrfff "-ungh, because fuck it."

"That one sounded deep." He then took a small sniff. It smelled of sour milk and cheese.

Chris was then silent as he realized he wasn't even trying to pretend to be grossed out anymore. They were both drunk and this could be his only chance.

"Um...Jackie."

"Hmm?" she mumbled as she poured herself a mixed drink.

"You don't like guys at all...right?"

"Uh, duuhhhhh. That's what lesbian means."

"Right right. But what don't you like about it? I mean, about guys."

"Guys are like....ugh. I don't like the masculine thing. So many guys are such macho shit heads." she let out a large burp. "Oof, and dicks. Get that shit away."

"So," Chris started to say as he took his 4th shot, becoming more confident. "so you don't want a relationship or sex with a guy. Could you do anything with a guy?"

She thought for a moment. "Ehhhhhh....maybe I could bully a guy. Like humiliate him. I like humiliating girl partners."

"How would you humiliate them?"

"Idk...make em smell my socks, sit on their face."

Chris felt his dick move again. He was so close.

"What about like...I don't know, what if you like farted on a guy?"

She looked at him with a strange expression and laughed. Chris could feel his cheeks turn slightly red again.

"Huh....fart on a guy...." she thought.

"I mean...you fart like..ALL the time...."

"Hmmm...maybe that would be fun."

"A-and the guy wouldn't like touch you or anything, he would just have to sit there and take it." Chris clarified, stammering slightly.

She looked at Chris with a playful smirk. She took a big gulp, then leaned over slightly.

puUUMmmp?

As she out a cute, smaller bassy fart she studied Chris's expression. Chris's heart was pounding. She knows, fuck, she knows. She brought her face right up to his with a huge grin.

"Are you saying that you LIKE my farts, Chris?"

"Uh well....I mean...it could be f-fun.."

Jackie let out a yelp of a giggle and fell back on the couch laughing.

"wait wait wait...this WHOLE time...you been jerking off to the sound of my FARTS in your room?"

Chris's face was red as a strawberry. He couldn't even form a thought, his mind was frozen.

Jackie drunkenly put her arms around him and pulled him in close, giving him a childish kiss on his cheek.

"Chrisssy likes my farty wartys?? does Chrissy like them??" she mocked in a baby voice. Chris sighed.

"....yeaaaaahhhhhhh...." he groaned sheepishly.

"ohhhh myyyyy god," she said laughing again. "that....is kind of adorable. I can't even lie to you. I want to call you a faggot right now but that is just too cute." She said kissing his cheek some more.

She shifted her butt again and tried to fart but nothing came out.

"Awww, fart boy! I'm out of gas! You must be heart broken!!"

Chris put his face in his hands. He was never going to hear the end of it.

******************************************************************************************************************

"Dexter, you have to ignore your dark passenger!"

Chris rolled his eyes. This show had really taken a turn for the worse.

He flipped through the channels looking for anything good. Calling out of work after last night's drinking had proved to be extremely boring and these shit channels were not doing anything for his hangover.

SLAM

Chris jerked his head around and looked over to see Jackie storming though the apartment. She was wearing black jeans, a light blue tanktop and her leather jacket and she looked pissed. When Chris had woken up this morning he had found himself on the couch and had no memory how the night had ended. He did remember telling her about his kink but everything else was a blur. Chris gulped as he knew this had the potential to be super awkward.

"Fucking piece of shit mother fucker!" Jackie growled, going to the fridge and angrily opening a beer.

"J...Jackie what's wrong?"

Jackie snapped her head around, now aware that Chris was still home.

"Oh, you're here? What, you called out?"

"Yeah I was fucking go-"

"Good, I can use you." She walked over to the couch, sat back and opened her jean clad legs spread eagle.

"Get the fuck over here"

Chris stared for a moment and then got off the couch and got on his knees in between her legs. What was she trying to..?

Jackie grabbed his hair and shoved his head into her crotch.

"I'm so fucking mad at my uncle right now, fuck!"

She grunted and then let out a violent ripper of a fart on chris's nose.

bbbbbrrrrrrAAAMmmmmbrrrrap-brrrapt!

"Ungh, fuck that felt good," she groaned.

Chris was inundated with the strongest smelling fart he had ever sniffed. They smelled like poop, beans and cheese. He began to blush and his heart was pounding well over 100 beats per minute.

"I go down there, to his auto shop, just like I told him I would. And he was just sitting on his fat ass doing nothing, wow go figure-"

She paused to let out a followup fart on his nose.

brAApppt

"-and I tell him hey uncle I could help around here, you need a secretary, and he tells me he's busy? and I say busy doing what-"

pOOOOOooont

"ungh, and he says 'busy working' and he closed the door to his office. What the fuck kinda shit is that?!"

Chris was almost delirious. 3 hot stinky farts in his face for no reason.

"Do those smell good, fart faggot?"

"Yes....holy shit yes"

"Good, cause I have a lot more and I'm really pissed off. I mean the fucking balls on that dude, jesus"

Chris continued to sniff her stink and muffled a "thank you".

"Don't thank me loser, you're still paying for my groceries like we agreed."

Chris stopped and looked up at her.

"you don't remember? I said I'd fart on you if you buy my food. I don't have a job you fuck".

This must have been deep in the throes of their drinking because Chris didn't remember any of this.

"Just shut up and sniff my fart,"

bOOOoooooOOommm-P

Jackie unleashed a bomber of a fart whose pitch went up and down several times before ending with a thump. The smell was horrific and Chris actually had to cough slightly.

"Fuck that felt amazing! All that stress and I can let it out on your stupid face."

Chris sniffed deeply. He didn't care if she made him sign over his first born child to her as a human sacrifice. These farts were more than worth it.