Farting Ghost Girl
by Unknown

"Meh. Being a ghost sure is boring...usually, I'd daydream about how cool it'd be to be able to turn invisible and walk through walls and scare the living daylights out of people, but UGH! This sucks." I floated around my abandoned house and then flew half-heartedly out the front door. "Maybe I'll go people watching...AGAIN." I floated down the main road that led away from my house, watching people on the way. "Everyone looks so happy. Wish I could be happy, too." 

My name's Honoka. Honoka Otomo. Up until recently, I was your average highschooler. Beautiful, long black hair and big, dark brown eyes. I was pretty, popular, and I got decent enough grades. Life was everything I wanted and more. Then, all that was taken away. One day, after school, I ended up ditching my friends because I had family matters to attend to. I tried saving time by taking a shortcut home, but on the way there...I was the victim of a hit and run driver. "B-Bastard..." My voice was shaky and I tried punching the nearest streetsign, my hand phasing right through it. "Ugh..." I kept floating along, looking for something to take my mind off it, when suddenly...

"Really, Tatsuya? You're staying THERE?" A short, red-headed girl was talking to someone who I guess was her friend outside of a fast food restaurant. A boy with slightly spiky blonde hair. "Yeah. I was planning on it. Why? I don't get why the place has all those negative reviews. Haunted? Yeah, right." My eyes widened. "H-Haunted...?" They walked into the restaurant and I followed quickly. They stood in line while they talked, and I eagerly floated behind them. The girl spoke again, this time a bit quieter. "B-But, Tatsuya, you can't...what if it's for real? What if you get possessed? Or w-worse..." He shrugged and closed his eyes, seemingly trying not to laugh. "Listen to yourself, Mika. Possession? Death? You're sounding like a little kid." And just like a little kid, she pouted and went to go sit at a table. Tatsuya shook his head and pulled out his phone. I looked over his shoulder and saw the name and address of the place.

"Huh...Yorokobi Inn...if this place is haunted...maybe I can make some friends...?" For the first time in a while, I smiled a genuine smile and set off for the Inn. Within 15 minutes, I was there. Being a ghost sure has its perks. But ugh. I see why the place got those negative reviews. It's big, sure, but it's in the middle of nowhere, and there's almost no indication that this is a hotel. I flew in and almost changed my mind instantly. This place was much better looking on the inside. A large, well-lit lobby with huge staircases leading to grand-looking doors. "No sign of ghosts, though..." Just then, a young couple walked up to the main desk and the man started talking loudly. "Yeah, so you gonna fix that damn smell in our room or what?" The lady at the desk looked dismayed. "Sir, we just took care of it yesterday. If the problem has come back..." He cut her off. "Y-You sayin' that it's our fault?! Well that's a bit fuckin' rude, don'tcha think? Lemme show you how I deal with rudeness..." 

He immediately clenched his fist and raised it, preparing to hit the lady. I gasped, and instinctively flew forward trying to tackle him. Instead, I phased right through him, making him shiver violently. "K-Ken...? What's wrong...?" The girl with him asked. He regained his composure and he looked around, a bit panicked. "S-Shit...those fuckin' reviews were right...this place is haunted!" He grabbed the girl's hand and pulled her out the front door. I looked at them as they left, and then looked at my hands. "D-Did I just...?" I blinked a couple times and then started to think. "Even though I'm d-dead...I can still communicate with people...? I wonder..." I flew up to the second floor and picked a door at random. A young couple was having sex. "Ugh." I instantly got upset just thinking about how the guy looked like the guy I was dating. I was about to leave when I noticed how similar he looked. "W-Wait a minute...that can't be..." It was. I caught a glimpse of his face for a couple seconds. "H-Hiroshi..." I wanted to die. Again. 

As much as I wanted to leave, I couldn't. Here with some bitch was my Hiroshi. The guy who did everything with me. He was such a good guy. They finished up, and I heard them speaking. "S-Shit, Asuka. That was amazing." She cuddled up next to him. "Oh yeah, your ex. Honoka, right? You guys never fucked, right?" He shook his head. "Nah. Wanted to save herself for marriage or some shit like that." They both laughed, and she continued. "Bitch probably stunk down there and didn't want you near it." They both kept laughing, and I felt betrayed. I did the only thing I could think of. "T-That fucking bitch. She thinks I smell? I'll show her!" I flew over the bed, turned around, and stuck my ass in her face. "Here goes..." Before I could change my mind, it happened. I let loose a long, violent sounding fart then and there. It was long, too. I don't know if they'd experience it, but damn, it felt good. 

"Hiroshi!" She screamed as she covered her nose. "Why the hell did you do that?" He sat up, covered his nose as well and retaliated. "Me? I thought that was you!" She got up and walked to the bathroom. "You're such a fucking pig. What? Mad because I brought up your ex?" He didn't get to reply. "You're an immature asshole!" She locked herself in the bathroom as he sat in bed. I bit my lip and then flew out of the room. "Oops..." I flew to the room across the hall. It was empty. I "sat" on the bed, and thought. "I didn't know I could still interact with people. Well...in a way, I guess. But wait. I'm a ghost. M-Maybe the rules don't apply anymore...?" I tested my theory the only way I knew how. I let loose another fart, this time longer than ever. It sounded really wet. Something you wouldn't expect from a cute girl like me. I cut it at about 15 seconds. It was horrible. The room stunk bad, and I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. To make matters worse, the door opened, and a young man walked in. He immediately sniffed the air and recoiled in disgust. "What the hell is that? Smell like something died in here!" He went to open the window, and I just watched. "Oops, again."

Back in the lobby, I watched people leave and enter. I couldn't help but keep thinking, though. I had to find out what I could and couldn't do. Communication with the living is still something I want. And even if I can't do it directly, anything is better than nothing. I wonder if they can hear me, too...? I went to the women's bathroom. Two stalls next to eachother were occupied. I chose one and went in. "Ugh...this is disgusting..." I thought. But I had to get answers. I waited a bit out of nervousness, but then let loose some more gas. It was loud, and it stunk. The woman I was in the stall with looked surprised, and I heard the woman next to us burst out laughing. "I-I guess they can hear me too...?" I was beyond confused. Maybe it had something to do with my intentions. "Who cares? I'm starting to actually have fun with this..." I left the stall with a huge smile on my face.

Reaching the lobby, I realized some workers were setting up food at a buffet for dinner. People were starting to make their way down from their rooms, and some were just arriving. "I wish I could eat..." I poked my stomach, and watched them until they were finished. "N-Nothing stopping me from having a little innocent fun, though, right...?" I waited and watched until people started sitting in the dining area. I flew over to get ready, and looked to pick out a target. "That guy!" He was sitting by himself, getting ready to start his meal. I went over and waited until he was about to take his first bite, and then I quickly turned around and let loose right in his face and on the food he was about to eat. He started gagging and cursing under his breath. "O-Oops...guess I got some in his mouth..." Another couple sitting off in the distance were taking turns feeding eachother. I was still in a sour mood from before, so I targeted them next. As they were eating, I positioned my ass inches from their faces and let a couple farts rip. "Ooooh..." I moaned softly. "Those felt good. Hope they were extra stinky." Judging by their disgusted expressions? They were.

I was overwhelmed with joy. I haven't had this much fun in awhile. I kept on throughout the whole dinner. The best part about this? I'm a ghost, so I don't run out of gas. The entire lobby carried the light scent of my farts, with the dining area obviously being the most affected. The few people that were still there (why?) were gagging occasionally, but kept eating. Most other people left. The trash was almost filled with all the food I farted directly on. It was a disaster zone, to be blunt. But I loved it. I was a dominating presence even after death. I loved being the center of attention. And in a twisted kind of way, I still was. It was getting late, though. And most people were sleeping. Looks like I was going to be bored for another 12 hours or so. Or was I...? I picked a room and random and went in. An older man sleeping by himself was all that the room contained. "Meh. Poor guy." I grinned, and "laid" next to him. I planned on letting loose until morning. Wanted him to have something to wake up to, you know?

I didn't disappoint. Throughout the night, between roaming the halls and checking other rooms, I made sure to come back every few minutes to drop another bomb. I kept them silent out of consideration, but holy shit the room stunk. Worse than the dining area, easily. I stayed watching him until he woke up just to get his reaction. It was totally worth it. He stumbled around the room complaining about feeling sick to his stomach. I followed him as he left the room and to the front desk. I felt a little bad hearing him complain about the smell, although the lady probably didn't care after that little event from yesterday. He eventually returned to his room, leaving me to find someone new. I looked towards the entrance and saw Tatsuya, the boy from yesterday, and Mika, the girl who was with him, making their way in. "You didn't have to come with me, Mika." He said coldly. "I know! But if something goes wrong, I want to try and prevent it..." She squeezed his hand and followed alongside him. "Ugh." I left them to get settled in.

I went back to the room Hiroshi was in. He was alone, now. Probably left alone by that skank from yesterday. I watched him go to the bathroom and start the water for a shower. The bathroom steamed up pretty quickly and he got in. I remembered everything that happened yesterday and I got pissed off again. I went into the shower with him, crossed my arms, and farted. Over and over. It took a bit, but he noticed. Who wouldn't? The steam and heat from the water intensified the stench. He started coughing and cursing before getting out. "What the hell is with this place...? First, Asuka, and now this...? Fuck it, I'm out of here..." I felt bad...but not THAT bad. good riddance. As he started packing up to leave, I went back to the lobby. I started thinking of more things I could do before I left.

I went to the laundry room. A few washers and dryers were running. Perfect. I phased my ass into one of the dryers and let out some nasty, wet-sounding farts. I did that with all the dryers that were on. "Whew. Hope that's enough gas to last until the clothes are picked up. Might have to wash them again, though..." I smiled mischieviously, and continued on my way. "I'm running out of ideas. As fun as this was...I think I'm overstaying my welcome..." I poked my fingers against eachother and started thinking about how boring it'd be to go back to my empty house now. "M-Maybe I could make those rumor-filled reviews true and just stay here..."

A few days later, Honoka had made her decision. She was at a nearby diner, watching a news report about the Inn. "This is Takashi Iwata, reporting on the Yorokobi Inn Rumors. The Inn has been plagued with bad reviews over the past few days. Excuse me, can you please tell us the cause for this?" He was interviewing a formally-dressed man, most likely the manager. "Well, yes. We don't know the exact issue, but guests have been complaining about sudden sicknesses and unknown odors emanating from different parts of the Inn." The interviewer nodded at the man as he spoke. "Do you think the issue will be resolved sometime in the near future?" The waitress turned the TV off and grumbled. "Never liked that place. Looks like it finally might be going under." I bit my lip and then smiled. "Yeah. If I have anything to say about it...it just might..." I left the diner to head back to the Inn, ready to unleash my gas again...