By: n0idedalex
Hailey and Jacelyn were lost. The two friends were on a skiing trip they had planned for months. Unfortunately, they had both only just found out that neither of them particularly enjoyed skiing. To make matters worse, Hailey suggested cutting through the forest that separated the two main skiing areas as a shortcut, despite literally every touring and safety guide insisting not to. An hour later, and the girls were still walking through the trees while carrying their skis on their backs.
“Hailey, please, just admit that we're lost already.” Jacelyn moaned as she treaded behind Hailey. Jacelyn was a rather tall lady at around 6’0”. She had shoulder length dark blonde hair, hazel eyes, and a famously large butt. She was usually the more easygoing and relaxed friend of the pair. Though, there were times where her patience ran thin (like right now).
Unfortunately for Jacelyn, Hailey has always been extremely stubborn, and conceding was never one of her strong suits. “For the last time, we are not lost! The forest is just bigger than I was expecting. My sense of direction is never wrong!” Hailey announced as she stepped over a fallen log. One that Jacelyn swore she’d seen three times already.
Hailey, in contrast, was much shorter than her best friend, at around 5’5”. She had long blond hair, blue eyes and a pretty flat butt. She was always the louder and more energetic friend of the group. She also had a tendency to get pretty bratty (like right now).
“Hailey!” Jacelyn snapped. “We’ve been wandering these woods for nearly an hour! The sun’s not gonna stay up forever, and it’s gonna get extremely cold when it goes down. For the love of god, use the damn tracking device thingy!”
The two girls were given a tracking device by the ski resort to be used in an emergency. For example, if they were to get lost in the woods. Hailey had been holding onto said device since they got it. Of course, using said device would mean admitting that they were lost, which Hailey was not going to do.
“I am not using the tracking device thingy!” Hailey exclaimed. “That thing is for emergencies only, and this isn’t an emergency. This is… um… an adventure!”
Jacelyn stopped dead in her tracks. “Adventure? Adventure?! Going skiing was supposed to be an adventure! Not getting lost in a forest and dying of hypothermia!”
“And I keep saying that we’re not lost!” Hailey turned around and screamed. “I know exactly where we are, exactly where we’re going, and exactly where we will be. But we won’t get there any faster IF YOU KEEP COMPLAINING!”
Jacelyn marched up to Hailey and pointed a finger at her. “Hailey, I swear to fucking god if you don’t give me that tracking device right now, I am going to-... What’s that?” Jacelyn looked past Hailey and pointed behind her.
Hailey rolled her eyes. “I’m not falling for that one again.” She raised her eyebrows, however, when she saw Jacelyn walk past her. Her eyes widened when she turned around and spotted a small wooden cabin nestled in the trees.
Only a few seconds later, Hailey’s bravado returned and she stepped in front of Jacelyn again. “A-ha! I told you I knew where I was going! Come on, let’s see if anyone’s home.”
“Wait, what?” Jacelyn blurted out. “You want us to enter a random cabin in the middle of the woods? Are you insane?”
“Of course!” Hailey exclaimed. “The humble log cabin is a time-honored symbol of American… um, safety? Uh, heroic-ship? Look, name a single time someone entered a cabin in the woods and something bad happened to them.”
“Uh-”
“And we’re off!” Hailey shouted as she started to speedwalk to the cabin.
“Hey, wait!” Jacelyn shouted as she chased after Hailey.
Before long, Hailey was standing in front of the cabin door. She loudly knocked it and waited for a response. There wasn’t one. As Jacelyn approached the cabin, she noticed that it looked older up close than it did from afar. That, coupled with the lack of response, led her to a conclusion.
“I think this place is abandoned.” Jacelyn said.
“Perfect!” Hailey shouted. “That means no one will mind us going in.”
Hailey proceeded to grab the door handle and turn it. Amazingly, the door was unlocked and it opened with relative ease. Somehow, the cabin looked even smaller on the inside than it did on the outside. The cabin consisted of a single room, about the size of a living room. Inside was one twin-sized bed, one table, one chair, and a small wood stove. Every surface had a fine layer of dust painted over it. Most surprisingly, the cabin was very warm inside. Strange considering that there was no fire in the stove.
“Well…” Hailey said. “This place isn’t too bad, I guess.”
“Yeah.” Jacelyn agreed as she closed the door. “It’s the perfect place to wait while somebody calls for help.” Jacelyn glared at Hailey.
“Oh… but… but…” Hailey looked around the room as she considered her options, of which there were not many. “Oh, fine.” Hailey pulled out the tracking device from her pocket, pulled out the safety tab and pressed the red “SOS” button. The device beeped once before flashing a red led.
“Good. Nice to see someone come to their senses.” Jacelyn said as she walked past Hailey. She took her skis and backpack off her back, removed her jacket and sat on the bed. Hailey did the same and sat on the lone chair.
“I guess we just wait here, huh?” Hailey asked.
“Yup.” Jacelyn answered while looking at the ceiling.
The two sat in silence for an uncomfortably long time. Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, days turned into…
…
They sat in silence for about three minutes. The silence might’ve gone on for longer if it wasn’t interrupted by…
GGGggggggrrrrrrrrrr…
GGGGGGGGGRRRRRrrrrrrrr…
…Hailey’s and Jacelyn’s stomachs rumbling at the same time. They both had a pretty light breakfast and skipped lunch, and their stomachs were letting their owners know that they didn’t like that.
The two stared at each other for a little longer before Hailey spoke up. “Um… this place wouldn’t happen to have any food in it, would it?”
“I don’t know.” Jacelyn answered before standing up “I guess we could look around.”
Searching the cabin didn’t take long due to its small size, and led to seemingly no results. That was until Jacelyn looked under the small bed.
“Hey! I found something.” Jacelyn said as she reached underneath.
Hailey’s eyes widened as she watched Jacelyn slowly drag out a small wooden crate from under the bed. Jacelyn stood up, lifted the crate, and placed it on the table.
“Please be food. Please be food. Please be food…” Hailey said to herself as Jacelyn undid the latch keeping the lid shut.
Jacelyn opened the lid and revealed its contents. Inside was a can opener, two bowls, two spoons, and most importantly, two cans of chili.
Hailey and Jacelyn both frowned as they looked inside. Neither of them have been particularly big fans of spicy stuff.
“Well, better than nothing, I guess.” Jacelyn stated as she picked up a can.
Hailey picked up the other one and began to inspect it. “Hmm, I don’t know. These cans look… pretty old.”
Hailey kept inspecting the can. Her heart dropped when she found the expiration date.
EXP. Jun, 1994
Hailey squeaked when she saw that the cans expired before both her and Jacelyn were even born.
“Holy shit. Jacy, these cans are over 30 years old! We can’t eat these.”
Jacelyn looked at the expiration date of her can as well. “Oh, shit. You’re right.” She said as she placed her can back in the box. “I guess those are out of the question.”
“Ok, I guess.” Hailey said, still holding on to her can. “Well, if we can’t eat these, then what are we supposed to-”
GGGGGGGRRRRRrrrrrrrrr…
GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRR…
Both girls grabbed their empty stomachs as they grumbled in unison again. They were clearly in no mood to be picky right now. Both girls needed food in their bellies NOW. Even if said food was older than them.
“On s-second thought…” Jacelyn said. “These things are called non-perishable food for a reason, right? As in, they don’t ever perish, I think…”
“Y-yeah.” Hailey agreed. “Th-they should still be good to eat. They're… They're in cans after all. Cans are supposed to stop germs… or something…”
Hailey and Jacelyn looked at each other for a few more seconds. They were both starving, and knew that they didn’t have much of a choice.
“...”
“...”
“I’ll get the stove running.” Jacelyn said as she stood up.
“Good, good. I’ll just wait right here.” Hailey said.
After several minutes of fiddling with the stove, Jacelyn got it running. She cooked the cans of chili in a pot and poured the contents into each bowl once they were done. She placed the bowls on the table and dragged it near the bed so she could use it as a seat. Hailey sat in the chair.
“Welp…” Jacelyn said as she looked down at her chili. “Here’s lunch…”
The chili itself actually looked fine, but with the knowledge of how old it was, both girls were still hesitant to take a bite. Though, the sheer emptiness in their stomachs made not eating not an option.
“Yup. Let’s… dig in, I guess…” Hailey said as she picked up her spoon. She picked up a spoonful of chili, brought it to her mouth, and paused for several seconds. She was still torn on whether or not she should actually eat it.
“Come on, today please.” Jacelyn impatiently commanded.
Hailey closed her eyes and placed the spoonful in her mouth. She chewed for a few seconds before opening her eyes. A small smile crept on her face.
“Hey,” Hailey said with her mouth full. “This is pretty good.”
Relieved that her friend didn’t immediately die upon eating the chili, Jacelyn took a spoonful from her bowl and took a bite. It WAS actually pretty good, especially considering the age.
“Huh. Well, I’ll be.” Jacelyn said with her mouth full.
The pair continued to eat and make small talk for the next several minutes. Before long, both girls had finished their bowls.
LATER
Hailey and Jacelyn were both lying on the small bed. Well, they were trying to. Due to its small size, they were essentially spooning.
“Do we have to be in this position?” Jacelyn asked. “What if they find us like this?”
“What’s wrong?” Hailey asked. “I don’t want to lay on the floor anymore, and you refuse to move. Plus, we’re warming each other up with our body heat.”
“Yeah, it’s just that this is…”
“What?”
“...”
“What?”
“...a little gay...”
“...oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were deeply homophobic all these years.”
“What? No. That has nothing to do with what I’m talking about. I just don’t wanna spoon my best friend!”
“Sounds pretty homophobic to me…”
“That’s not what homo-”
GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRR…
The two girls were interrupted by Jecelyn’s stomach rumbling loudly. Much louder than her previous rumbles. Right after it happened, Jacelyn grabbed onto her stomach and cringed.
“Jesus, was that you? We just had lunch. How are you still hungry?” Hailey asked.
“Um… that… wasn’t a hunger gurgle…” Jacelyn cautiously answered.
GGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…
“Fuck…” Jacelyn muttered. “I’m starting to think that the chili really did go bad.”
“What?! But… but they were non-perishable! They were in cans!” Hailey tried to rationalise.
“I don’t think that matters when it’s been sitting around for thirty years…”
GGR-GGR-GGR-GGGRRRrrrrrrr…
Jacelyn grabbed the bed sheets after her third deep stomach gurgle. As she did so, a haunting realization loomed over her.
“Hailey…” She croaked out. “I… I need to fart…”
“...”
“...”
“Um… O… kay…”
“...”
“Like… like, now?”
“Yes, now. Obviously.”
“Well, I don’t know, can’t you like, hold it?”
“Wha- Why? Until what, the rescue team shows up?”
“I don’t know! Can’t you go to the bathroom?”
“What bathroom? This cabin doesn't have one.”
“Well, I think I saw an outhouse outside”
“Well, I’m not going outside in the cold just to fart.”
“Well, hold on. Give me a second to th-”
“Oh, fuck it.”
BBBPFPBPFFFPFbfprptrprttpttt!
With little effort, Jacelyn pushed out a three second long fart. It had a rather deep sound to it and was considerably louder in the first half.
“Ugh… That’s better” Jacelyn moaned once her fart ended.
“Ew, Jacy, Gross!” Hailey complained and pinched her nose before the smell could even hit her. She didn’t want to take any chances.
“What? I told you I had to-” Jacelyn was interrupted when she caught a whiff of her own gas. “Oh my god… Wow.”
Hailey was right to cover her nose prematurely. Jacelyn’s fart reeked of rotten meat and sewage. Hints of actual food were in there too, but they were mostly covered up by the stench of death that took up most of it. It smelled like Jacelyn ate something that went bad thirty years ago…
Oh, wait. She did.
“Holy shit…” Jacelyn huffed as she fanned her butt. “Ok, that smells really bad…”
“Yeah, I know. That’s why I wanted you to go outside to do it.” Hailey complained, her voice was nasally from her pinching her nose.
“Yeah, actually, you might be right. I should probably go-”
GGGGGRRRRR!
“Oh fuck!” Jacelyn shouted as her stomach roared to life again. This time, her stomach started to painfully cramp as well, and she grabbed onto Hailey’s midsection as a reaction.
“Hey! What the hell are you-” Was all Hailey could get out before…
BBBPFPBFPBFPBPFBFPBPFBPbfprptprtptttt!
An even bigger fart shot out of Jacelyn’s ass. It was a little longer than her first fart, and a little louder too. It sounded more forceful as well, like Jacelyn was pushing with all her might. Of course, she wasn’t. Most of that fart was completely against her will. It did feel exceptionally relieving to let out, though.
“Ohhhh… my god…” Jacelyn moaned through gritted teeth. “Fuck… my stomach…”
Hailey was much less than relieved, to put it lightly. Jacelyn grabbing onto her waist made Hailey briefly let go of her nose. And as a result, she ended up sniffing a good chunk of Jacelyn’s second ass blast. It had the same smell as before, but a little stronger. This was Hailey’s first time smelling it though, so it hit her even harder than normal.
“Holy fuck! Christ, that’s terrible!” Hailey shouted. “Jacy, oh my god, how the hell did you… Why did you grab me?!”
“I’m sorry…” Jacelyn whined. “My stomach hurts so much. I needed to grab something…”
“Well, let go of me! At least let me get to the other side of the room.”
“I can’t. Mmmff… My stomach hurts too much to let go.”
“What the hell does that have to do with anything?! Just let go of me before you-”
BBBBBBPPPPFFFPPRTPRPpprtpbprrptprbprpttPRPRTTT!
Jacelyn’s butt blew up yet again. Even longer and louder than her last fart. This time crossing the five second mark. Just like her last farts, it started off super loud but got quieter in the second half. Though, this one got louder right at the end. The force of this fart almost made it seem like her butt was screaming at the two of them.
“JACELYN!” Hailey screamed.
“I’m soooorryyyy…” Jacelyn cried out as her stomach kept cramping up. “I can’t help it…”
“I don’t care! Let go of me right now!”
Jacelyn mumbled something into Hailey’s back in response.
“Jacy, I swear to god, if you don’t let go of me right now, I am going to-”
GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrr…
Both girls’ ears perked up as the sound of a stomach rumbling filled the room once again. Except, it didn’t come from Jacelyn’s stomach…
“Oh, shit…” Hailey said as she grabbed her stomach.
Jacelyn’s eyes widened as she heard Hailey’s stomach rumble. The cramping in her own stomach seemed to temporarily dissipate.
“Oh. Sounds like the chili’s messing you up, too.” Jacelyn commented.
“Sh-shut up.” Hailey grunted as her stomach continued to gurgle loudly. “I blame you for this… somehow.”
Jacelyn’s grip on Hailey loosened. “Do… Do you need to fart as well?”
“What?! No! I don’t” Hailey lied.
“Hails, if I farted, you’re definitely gonna fart.” Jacelyn tried to reassure Hailey.
“I told you. I don’t need to-”
GGGGGRRRGGGGRGRGRgrgrgrrgr…
Hailey’s stomach roared to life again due to her continuing to hold in her gas.
“Hailey, just fart. Your stomach is gonna hurt if you don’t.”
“But… but it’ll smell…”
“Sigh. You’ve forced my hand.”
Jacelyn placed her hand on Hailey’s stomach and forcefully pushed it down.
“Heyheyheywait!” Hailey shouted before…
BLBLBLbblplbpblblbpPpLsPlPBLPBLPBLPTTT!
Hailey’s ass let rip a four second long fart. In contrast to Jacelyn’s farts, Haily’s were wet and bubbly. It also seemed to get louder the longer it went on for. Hailey grunted and sucked in some air through her teeth right after she ripped it.
“Oh, Jesus Fucking Christ…” Hailey groaned. “That was so gross…”
“Eh, that was pretty bad. Not as bad as mine, though.” Jacelyn joked.
“This isn’t a competition!” Hailey shouted. “Please, this is embarrassing enough already.”
What was as bad as Jacelyn’s, was the smell. Hailey’s farts also smelled of primarily rotten meat, but also decent helpings of garbage and fecal matter. It was a truly repugnant odor, one that was now hitting both girls’ noses.
“Oh! Fuckin-... wow…” Jacelyn commented first. “Ok… that might actually be worse than mine…”
“Holy shit…” Hailey commented second as she covered her nose with her sweater. “There’s no way I just made that smell…”
“You did…” Jacelyn remarked as she fanned the air in front of her. “And you’re probably gonna do it again, I imagine.”
“Oh, hell no.” Hailey said definitely. “I am not doing that again.”
BBBLPLPBlpblbblplbLBPLBPLBPBLbbPLSPLSPSPTTTT!
Hailey’s ass seemed to disagree, as it unleashed another assault on the air, this one lasting five seconds. It was just as loud and wet as her last fart. This time, Hailey stiffened once her fart started, and stayed still for several seconds once her fart ended.
“I… I didn’t even feel that one. That just… came out of nowhere.” Hailey said.
BBPPBRAALLARPPTT! BPBPBPLPLplprlttt!
Two more butt bombs dropped from Hailey’s rear. They were both very short, but still loud and wet.
“Fuck!” Hailey shouted. “What the hell is happening?”
“You broke the seal.” Jacelyn said.
“What?”
“You were holding them in for a while. Now that you’ve farted once, the rest are gonna slip out more easily. I’ve seen this happen before.”
“What? When?”
“Remeber when we went to that Mexican place that one time?”
“Um… barely.”
“Right… um, anyway, get ready for a lot more farts to come out of you.”
“But I don’t want to stink up the whole cabin!”
“Hey, not just you, remember?” Jacelyn said as her grip on Hailey tightened again.
BPBPBPFPBPFPRPBRPFPRRPBPPrrpbprpbprpfprprbprbprptprtptpttttt!
A monster of a fart exploded from Jacelyn’s behind. Just as loud and powerful as her previous farts, this one lasted six whole seconds before suddenly stopping. Jacelyn let out a loud moan once it finished, unintentionally into Hailey’s ear.
“Fuck… I hate how good that feels…” Jacelyn mumbled.
“Jesus fucking fuck.” Hailey replied in mild horror. “How the hell did you do that?”
“Thirty year old chili, we just went over this.” Jacelyn answered while pressing her face into Hailey’s shoulder.
“Right. I know, but still- Holy fuck that stinks!”
The smell Hailey was complaining about had indeed gotten worse. The stench of both women’s flatulence had now joined forces to create a truly toxic miasma. The nearly unbreathable gas was now permeating around the immediate area around the two women.
“Holy shitballs…” Jacelyn said as she pinched her nose. “That is fucking ripe.”
Hailey started to gag at this point. “Fuck! I think I can taste it. I gotta get out of here…”
Hailey slipped out of Jacelyn’s arms and crawled onto the floor. She then proceeded to crawl on her hands and knees to the opposite side of the cabin, worried that standing upright would put her head in the cloud of stink.
“Must… find… clean air…” Hailey chanted to herself.
BPBLPBLRPLTPRTLT! BLAPappapLALPALRTT! PLBLRLRLRLRLLRPRLPTTT!
Hailey’s butt chanted to itself.
“God… Fucking… Dammit…” Hailey cursed after each fart.
Eventually, Hailey reached the opposite wall and sat against it, her hands still clutching onto her stomach. “Fuck… I hate this…” She muttered.
“Wait… let me join you…” Jacelyn requested as she slowly sat up from the bed.
“And stink up my nose again?” Hailey sassed. “No thank you. You can go to the other corner.”
“Oh, come on. It’s not like I’m gonna- sniff sniff -OH My fuck!” Jacelyn shouted as she smelled the air again. “Fuck, it’s even worse up here!”
“That’s why I crawled…” Hailey commented.
Jacelyn began to cough as the smell continued to assault her nose. In doing so…
Cough cough cough. Cough cou-
BPBPRBBPRPBRFRTFRTFRTFR-pltptprtptrprtptptpt-SPELTCH!
Another major ass blast shot out from Jacelyn’s backside. However, right at the end, another sound could be heard. Though brief, it was a much wetter sound than any of Hailey’s farts. Immediately after it happened, Jacelyn stiffened her body and threw her hands straight for her backside. She stood there in place for several seconds.
“...”
“...”
“Uh… Jacy? You alright?
“...”
“Jacy?”
“Hailey… you said that you saw an outhouse near this cabin, correct?”
“Uh, yeah. It’s right outside, I think.”
“Good.”
“...”
“Please excuse me for a moment…”
With that, Jacelyn suddenly bolted for the front door. She flung it open, sprinted outside, and slammed it shut. Hailey watched it all transpire in less than five seconds.
“Damn. That chili really went through her.” Hailey said to herself. “I’d hate to be in her situation.”
Suddenly, Hailey’s stomach cramped up again. “Ugh. Guess I’m still not done.” She said as she leaned to one side.
BLPRBLPRBBRLPBRLSPLSPLSPLRBSSPLR-SPLARCH!
Tragically for Hailey, the exact same thing that happened to Jacelyn just happened to her. Right as her butt was ripping out another beast of a fart, it was suddenly interrupted by a wet squelching sound. It was also accompanied by the warm and wet feeling of something more than just gas escaping her sphincter. Hailey instantly clenched her buttcheeks and flew one of her hands to her butt.
“FUCK!” Hailey screamed to herself as soon as she realized she just sharted.
GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRR…
Her stomach roared up again. This time, she also felt a cold shiver run up and down her spine, along with some sweat forming on the back of her neck. Hailey knew what this meant. She hadn’t felt this since her and Jacelyn went to that Chinese place that one time, but she knew what this meant…
Hailey had diarrhea.
Instantly knowing what to do, Hailey slowly got up, clenched her buttcheeks as hard as she could, and began hobbling to the front door. Hailey burst outside and locked eyes with the outhouse not far from the cabin. Leading up to it, Jacelyn’s footprints were clearly embedded in the snow. Hailey rushed towards the outhouse with one hand gripping her butt and and got to the door. She grabbed the handle and attempted to pull it open, but it was locked!
Obviously it was locked. Did she expect Jacelyn to not be in there?
Hailey banged on the door as hard as she could. “Jacy! Please! Open up!” She desperately screamed.
“I’m sorry…” Jacelyn grunted in response. “I can’t… stop… Ugh! It won’t stop!”
PPLPLPL-CRKLCRKCRKL-PRPTprtpptptptptpt!
Right after Jacelyn responded, her butt did as well. It unleashed a flurry of barely solid logs of hot waste that landed in the deep pit below. Jacelyn’s ass had been like this for the past thirty seconds, and was unlikely to stop anytime soon. Jacelyn had her hands firmly planted on the walls next to her, and was looking down at the ground. There, she got a good view of her heavily shit-stained panties. Those were definitely going to have to be thrown out after this.
SPLUT-SPLUT-SPLUT-SPLSPLRTtttttprtlprtttt!
“F-FUCK!” Jacelyn shouted as her ass began to expel waste again. “It’s so fucking hot coming out!”
To this day, scientists are still unsure why diarrhea sometimes burns the asshole while coming out. All we do know is that when it does happen, it really hurts. A lot.
SPLSPLSTSLPSPLSTSSLSPLTPTPTLPTPTPTptPtptptptptptt…
“W-why won't it sto-o-op…” Jacelen cried out as her ass did its best impression of an upside down volcano.
Meanwhile, Hailey’s condition was not improving. Her urge to defecate was only increasing by the second, and hearing her best friend shit her brains out two feet away from her was not helping. Hailey could feel the massive wave of liquid fecal matter pressing against her weakening sphincter. She didn’t have long before it gave up entirely. At that moment, Hailey had two options. Keep waiting for Jacelyn to finish and risk shitting herself, or run off somewhere behind a tree to relieve herself. She didn’t like either idea and she had never pooped anywhere that wasn’t a toilet since she was toilet trained, so she chose the former option.
PTPTptpptplspltlsptlrpltpttptptptl!
Of course, Jacelyn’s audible anal evacuation was making that extremely difficult. Just like how hearing running water would make someone that needed to pee need to pee more, hearing Jacelyn’s diarrhea episode made Hailey need to shit more. Constantly squeezing her buttcheeks tight was also really tiring for Hailey, and she could feel her body running out of energy.
“It’s ok.” Hailey thought to herself as she tried to calm down. “Just a little longer. You’re gonna make it. You’re not gonna shit yourself. You’re not a baby. You’re not gon-”
BLBLOOORRTTT!
“FUCK!”
BLBspaaplaplaplspslprlptlapplatpprltprltpttpplplbplbplblblppbpblplbpllpll…
Tragically, as Hailey attempted to slow down her breathing, she stopped clenching her buttcheeks for a couple of seconds. That’s all it took for her exhausted asshole to stop holding back the massive amount of shit it was trying in vain to stop. First, a large “blob” of mushy shit plopped into Hailey’s panties. As Hailey reacted, her body tensed and accidentally pushed out the rest of the diarrhea that was in her colon at the time. A hot, runny stream of liquid shit flooded her panties and poured down her thermal pants.
Hailey froze as she felt it all happen. She had just shit herself. A lot of shit at that. A shitload of shit, if you will. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t blink. She couldn’t breathe. She just stood in place as the horror of what happened fully settled into her brain, and the smell of what happened fully settled into her nose. The world faded around her. She didn’t notice the cold or the sound of nature around her. She also didn’t notice the sound of Jacelyn not shitting her guts out anymore. And she barely noticed the door opening in front of her.
“Sorry I took so long. I just… wouldn’t stop shitting! Anyway, you can go now, Hails.” Jacelyn said as she stepped out of the outhouse. Hailey didn’t respond.
“Hailey?”
“...”
“Hailey, you can use the toilet now, what are you- Sniff. Sniff-sniff. -Aw, fuck. You smell like shit. You-” Jacelyn interrupted herself as soon as she realized what happened. “Oh… Hailey, did… did you…”
Hailey didn’t say anything. Instead, her eyes started to fill up with tears and she closed them. She leaned her head forward and placed it against Jacelyn’s shoulder. Jacelyn wrapped her arms around her friend in a half embrace.
“Hey, hey, it’s ok. You’re ok. We’re… gonna get you cleaned up, ok?” Jacelyn said as she attempted to console Hailey.
The two stood in that spot for a couple of minutes. Jacelyn had absolutely no idea how to clean Hailey up after her accident, so neither of them moved during that time. Eventually, both girls heard a sound slowly get louder and louder.
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…
It was a roaring sound (that for once wasn’t coming from either girls’ stomachs). Soon enough, Jacelyn saw a cloud of snow rapidly approaching them through the trees. She then saw a snowmobile suddenly appear from the cloud and come to a sudden stop in front of the cabin. On the snowmobile was a tall woman wearing a bright orange jacket with the word “RESCUE” on the front and back. She got off the snowmobile and took off her white helmet.
“You two set off the distress signal?” The rescue lady asked.
“Uh… yeah. That was us.” Jacelyn sheepishly answered.
“Good. Sorry for taking so long. How’d you two get so far deep in the forest? And-” The rescue lady stopped to sniff the air. “Ugh. What in God’s name is that smell?”
Hailey buried her face deeper into Jacelyn’ shoulder.
“Uh… my friend had a… erm, accident…” Jacelyn started to blush as she vaguely told the rescue lady what happened. “Um, you wouldn’t happen to have a spare pair of thermal pants on you, would you?”
The rescue lady blinked at the two women as she realized the (literal) mess she had to deal with. “Uh… no. I’m afraid I do not.”
Hailey and Jacelyn were lying in their bed in their resort room (getting a single bed room was the only way they could afford this trip). The last several hours were… weird to say the least. They both rode the snowmobile back to the resort, Hailey showered for over an hour, they were both given free hot chocolate by the resort, and the resort manager himself sent a formal apology email to the girls (it was written by ChatGPT and spelt both of their names wrong). After returning to their room, each girl went to the bathroom a couple more times to expel some residual diarrhea. Though, none of those trips were nearly as extreme as their first one.
Jacelyn turned her head to the side to look at Hailey. “Some day, huh?”
Hailey didn’t respond.
Jacelyn turned her head back to the ceiling and sighed. “I’m really sorry I made you shit yourself. I really tried to get everything out of my system as fast as I could. I wish I could go back and let you use the outhouse first.” Jacelyn brought her hand to her chin. “Wait, then I’d shit myself. Hm. How do I want this to go? Do we both use the- no, that’s gross.”
Jacelyn continued to mutter to herself for about a minute. Finally, for the first time since her accident, Hailey spoke.
“Jacy?”
Jacelyn snapped out of it and looked back at Hailey. “Yeah?”
“Next time we’re on vacation… you pick the spot, ok?”
“...of course!”
“Like, the opposite of skiing.”
“Well, duh. That goes without saying. In fact, I already know the perfect spot.
Both girls looked at each other in silence for a few seconds before nodding in acknowledgement.
“Tahiti!” They both said in unison.