By: throwback1704
“Are you alright? Natasha asked frantically. She was calling her mother Melina. It was the day of the snap. She was so glad to hear her answer.
“Yes, yes.”
“Who did you lose?” she asked, her throat quivering at the morbid question.
“Many of the girls, and…”
“and who?”
“Alexei”
“Oh my god…” she began tearing up again, “What about…” she choked up, “What about Yelena?”
“She’s okay, she’s here.”
Yelena grabbed the phone from her mother, Melina.
“Natasha, Natasha” she said worried sick, “Are you alright?”
“Yes, yes, I’m alright. Are you?”
Yelena couldn’t really answer. Natasha could hear her tearing up on the other end of the line.
“It’s alright, it’s alright.”
Two Weeks Later…
Natasha is again on the phone with her mother. “I’m coming to visit you”
“Darling, you don’t have to do that”
“I want to do that. I want to be with my family.”
“I’m already on my way. I’ll be there tomorrow. We can just have a nice family dinner with the three of us and talk about everything.”
“Alright darling yes. We can do that”
The next day…
Natasha arrives to the house. She sees Melina and Yelena waiting for her at the front door. Just seeing eachother makes them tear up. They begin sobbing as they reach the door. They hug and cry in each other’s arms for a moment. Eventually they bring Natasha inside and wipe each other’s tears. They sit down for dinner. Melina sits at the head of the table, Yelena on her left, and Natasha on her right. They begin dinner talking about the loss of Alexei and the girls.
“As much as Alexei was not the greatest man” Melina started, “We did love him. And he did love us.”
“It is so strange how we can miss someone who tried to control us so much”
Natasha added.
“I never saw him that way” Yelena said, “Not until much much later.”
“It was probably hard for you to see that as such a little girl” Natasha replied. “But he did control us a lot, right mom?”
Melina responded, “Oh yes, you cannot even begin to imagine. The list of things we were allowed to do was much shorter than the things we weren’t allowed to. But I understood why. We were undercover. What annoyed me about your father is the things he wouldn’t allow us to do under the name of ‘American Culture’…”
“Like what?” Yelena asked.
“Well, namely, this…” Melina leaned over a bit in her chair and let rip:
BBBRRRRRRRRTRRRTPPPPPPPTTTT
“Mom!” Natasha said in instinctual disgust. Yelena and Melina, however, were laughing at the flatulence.
“That’s disgusting!”
That’s when the smell hit Melina. “Oohhfff” Melina said, fanning her hand around her nose.
The smell only made Yelena laugh harder.
Natasha was annoyed. She said, “Really? At the dinner table?”
“Oh Natasha, you sound like your father.” Melina said, “It’s my table now. My table, my rules.”
Yelena interjected, “Well, if that’s the case…”
Yelena leaned forward, squinting her eyes to let out:
BBRBRBRBRBBRBRBRBRBBRBRBRBRRRRRRFFFFTTTTTTFTFTFTFTFT
Melina and Yelena erupted into more laughter. Melina made out, the words, “Good one!” to Yelena, still hysterically laughing and waving her hand around her nose.
Yelena’s nasty fart reached Natasha’s nose, and Natasha gasped in disgust. “Good lord, you two are pigs!”
“Oh please!” Melina said.
“No, you’re right, pigs are more polite.” Natasha replied.
Yelena silenced her laughter to say, “Natasha, don’t lie to us, I know you want to do it too!”
Natasha replied, “What?”
Yelena turned to her mother and said, “When Natasha and I shared a room, we would have fart competitions every night. Now she’s too robotic and uptight to participate I guess…”
Natasha’s competitive spirit came in, and said, “First of all, we called them ‘Fart-Offs’, not ‘fart competitions’. And secondly, I am not uptight!”
“Really?” Yelena teased. “Maybe you just know that me or mom would beat you…”
“Wow! The only time you EVER won ‘Fart-Offs’ was when I let you, and I’m not playing because it’s a game for little kids.” Natasha said.
“I think you’re just afraid of this!” Yelena turned around, so her butt was facing Natasha, and ripped:
FFFFFBFBBBBFBFBBRRRRRSSSSRRPPSSSTSTSTSSTSTStstFFFFFTftffSsfstststsfsfstssssss
Natasha smacked Yelena’s butt away with a napkin, “Oh, you are gross!”
Melina simply applauded Yelena’s monster. Yelena turned around and gave a bow. “Whoof, that one is really bad!” she said. Natasha felt a churning in her stomach, and started warming up to the idea of playing the game with them.
“My turn!” Melina said.
BRBRBBRBRBRBRBRBBRBBRBRBBRBRBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBRBRBRBPppppTTt
ttT
Melina’s fart rumbled deep into her chair, garnering applause from Yelena.
“Still scared of losing Natasha, or are you going to play?” Yelena asked.
“I’m only scared of how bad you two are at playing this game!” Natasha said.
“Oh really? Prove it!” Yelena said.
Natasha looked up with her eyes, and leaned ever so slightly forward and ripping an 11 second monster.
bbbbrbrrrrrrbrbrbrbrbrbrbbrBRrbRBRBBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBFBBF
FFFTFTFTFTFTFTBFBFBTBBFBTBBTBFBBTBFBFBFBFBPPPPPPPPPTPPTPTPTTt
“Didn’t sound like a losing fart to me.” Natasha said confidently
“Pshhhhh, you got beginner’s luck. Get ready for this one…” Yelena replied, squeezing out a:
PPPPRPRRPRPRPPRPRPRPRPPPRRRRRRPRPPRPRPPRPRPRPFPFFTFTFTFTFTTTTTTFTFT
TFFFFFFTFFTFTFTPFPFPTFfffftftftftftt tt t f ft f f PFPFPFPFPRPRPRPPPSFFfftf
Yelena sighed of relief getting that one out. Natasha and Melina applauded. Natasha said, “Not bad… Can you top those, Mom?”
“You underestimate your mother…” Melina responded before leaning over just a bit so that her butt was raised off her chair and let go the longest, and loudest of the night:
BBBRBRBBRBBRBRBRBRRRRRRRRRPRPRPPRPRPPPPPPPPPFFFFPFPPFPFPFPFPFTFTFTF
TFFFFTFTFTFTFDFFFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFFSSSSQQRRRRPRPRPRPRPPRPPRPQQQRRRR
RRTTPTPTPTPTPTPPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTP
Yelena and Natasha’s jaws dropped in astonishment. Yelena started chuckling, as they clapped for the absolute monster of a fart. Melina delicately pushed her butt back into the chair.
“Wow, where have you been keeping that one mom?” Natasha asked.
“Just saving it to show you two which one of us has been farting the longest. It’s your turn… Natasha….“
“I know, I know,” Natasha replied.
“Well go ahead, or are you all out of gas?” Yelena asked competitively.
“Just give me a moment…” Natasha said, as her face squirmed. She let out a short breath, and her eyes rolled back a bit. “Ah” she said, as if she just relieved something.
“Well are you going to do it?” Yelena asked
No response. Natasha looked at her mother and Yelena with a devious smile.
“What are you waiting for?” Yelena asked again.
“Do you two smell popcorn?” Natasha asked, taking two quick sniffs in.
Yelena and Melina looked at each other for a second before sniffing in. Natasha had ripped one of the nastiest Silent But Deadly farts of all time. It was absolutely rancid, smelling like nothing else they had smelled before. It was horrible. Melina and Yelena started choking at the smell waving it away from their faces. Natasha only laughed at their pain, and at her perfectly timed question.
“Whoo, that one was good!” Natasha said happily.
As Melina and Yelena were still waving the scent away, their eyes watering, Yelena made out the words, “Okay, that one was good. But… It’s my turn now.”
Yelena turned completely around in her chair and got on her knees in the seat so that her butt was facing both Natasha and Melina. She squeezed out absolutely everything and let go:
BRBRBRBRBBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBBRBRBFFFTTTFFTFTFFTFFTFTPF
PFTPFTPFPFPTPFPFTPFTPFTPFTPFPTPFTPFTPFTPFPFFFFFFTt t t t t t DDDDDDRRRRRTTTTPPPPTPPPFPTPTTPTPTPTPPTPTPTPPFPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPPSPS
PSPFFTFTFTFPTPFPTPFPPFPFPFPFPPFPTPTPPT
She sighed again, throughout the fart, relieving tension. Melina and Natasha applauded the huge fart. “Very impressive I must say”, Natasha said, “Mother? Anything to add?”
Melina looked impressed. “Only this…” Melina turned around as well so that her butt was facing her daughters, and let go:
BBRBRBRBRBBRBRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTFFFTTPPTPTPPTPTPTPTPTPTPPTPTPT
PTPTPPPPPTPTPTRRRBRBRBBRBRBRBBRBRBBRRRRRRRRPRPPPPRRPRPRPPPPPPPRRR
RRRPPPPPPPPPPPFPPFFTFTFTFTFFFTFTFTFFFFFFTtTTTtTttttTTTTTFFFTFFFPPPBBRBRP
RPRPPRPFFTFTFTTTFTfftf
Another enormous fart, which her daughters again applauded. “Good one Mom,” Yelena said. “Natasha?”
Natasha smiled another devious smile. She slowly turned herself around so that her beautiful butt was facing her mother and sister and let go:
BRBRBRBRBBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBBRBRRRRRRRRRFFTTFFPFPPFPFPFPFFPFPPTPTPFPFPF
PTPPTPPBBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBBRBRBRBRBRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRPRPRPRPRPPRPRPRPRP
RPRPPRPRPFPFPPFPFPFPPTPPTPTPTPTPPTPTPFPPFPTPFPTPPFPTPPFPFPFPPTPFPPTPF
PPFPFPFPFPFPFFPFFFFFSFFSSFSFFSSFTTSSTSTSTTSSSSSSSSQQQSQQSQSQSRRRPRPRP
RPRPPRPPRPPPPPPFPPFPPFPTPFPPFPTfftftfff
A 20-second behemoth, just as smelly as her last. During the fart, she shoved her butt closer to her sister and mothers’ faces and moaned in relief for the longest fart of the night. Melina and Yelena were gagging and choking. The close proximity of the gas attack and its god-awful smell took them so aback. They were disgusted.
“Now that’s just gross.” Yelena said, getting up from the table.
Melina plugged her nose, got up too and said, “You need to learn some manners young lady!”
As her family walked away, Natasha was confused.
“Really guys?!?!” Natasha said.
Yelena, now in the other room cried, “I CAN STILL SMELL IT FROM HERE!”
“You guys are babies…” Natasha said to herself, before leaning over for a final:
BRBBRBRBRBBRRfFFfTTSFFT
and a sigh of relief.