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Aina: The First Date It was just another spring day at the local grocery store. I was browsing through the shelves, weighing over whether I’d want a loaf of wheat bread or white bread to waste over a week in my lowly apartment when I saw her. The first thing that stood out to me was her dark green hair, something that tends to stand out in an area of mostly black and brown hair. Even the other patrons at the store took note of this one girl’s hair. Clearly a rebel, they must have been thinking. Having moved past the initial look at her unusual choice in hair color, the next thing that I naturally looked at was her body. It wasn’t one of those kinds of bodies that was overly exaggerated in a particular area but rather was well proportioned across the majority. There was an ample amount of fleshy buttocks that filled out her dark denim jeans to appear modestly plump in comparison to the normal butt, not quite bubble butt material but definitely enough to grab and squeeze onto. At least that’s what it looked like. And when she finally put away a can of tomatoes in her cart, she turned her cart around and let me look at her incredibly youthful face. It was the face of a fourteen-year old with flawless skin, something the rest of her gave no indication of. An innocent and naive pair of green eyes - accompanying her green hair and even her green shirt that covered a modest pair of breasts - looked towards the rest of the canned vegetables to figure out what else she’d need to pick up. She even raised up a finger to her mouth in self-contained thought, as though she were deciding whether to grab the kernel corn or the sweet peas. I was head-over-heels for her almost immediately, whether she knew it or not. Some people might knock the belief that love at first sight is a tool in fairy tales told to children to make them happy, but if I’d never heard of the phrase, I would’ve made it up on the spot to describe what I was feeling towards her. I was in a love that Aphrodite would’ve envied. Now I’m not exactly what you imagine as the “ideal man.” I’m a recent college graduate in a bad economy with no parents to help support any lavish luxuries I’d be inclined to have. I’m as close as you can get to being homeless without losing your home. I am by no means in the same league let alone the same class as this girl, but I’ll be damned if I wasn’t going to find something about her to connect with. I monitored her trek throughout the grocery store, making sure to appear in aisles near her or at least next to the one she’d be in so as not to arouse suspicion. I’m one of those paranoid fellas that feels like stalking a girl before going up and talking to her cause I’m too damn shy to be that brass individual who charges in dick-first to ask her out on a “date,” as you might’ve guessed. I watched her grab some more items - you know the kinds, milk, lettuce, cheese, beans, pasta, some meats, real basic stuff to make sure you’re not losing any nutrition in your diet. Now I’ve a right to be a paranoid fella, especially given my particular inclinations. I’m one of those “fart fetish” fellas that likes imagining what a fart coming out of a girl’s butt would be like, and let me tell you, there were some wild fireworks going off in my head. What if she’s lactose intolerant? What kind of farts come from that meat she pulled? Is she gassier with the veggies or the beans? You never know what effects food can have on a human body until you see it for yourself. Finally after several minutes of “debating” whether or not to buy some milk, I saw her head towards the front, and that’s when I knew exactly what I would do. No hesitation, I marched straight down the aisle and towards the front, and just as I turned the corner, BAM! Right into her cart, dropping the milk carton I was carrying right into the cart. “Omigosh! I’m so sorry!” She sounded just as young and innocent as I’d imagined. There’s just nothing about this girl that isn’t a ridiculously adorable bundle of mmph, ya know? Play it off, slick, play it off- “Aww, that’s alright. Lemme just grab my stuff out-“ “Are you okay?” “Yeah, yeah, nothing that bad, maybe a bruise or something that’ll wear off in a couple of days.” “Haha, yeah, guess I should watch where I’m going.” …well, that was awkward. Better go grab that milk- “Don’t worry about it, no big deal.” Make a note of what’s in the cart- “That’s some nice groceries you’ve got there.” “Oh, yeah, they sell that stuff here.” What a silly thing to say about food in a grocery store. “You planning something big?” A baiting question. Gotta make sure there’s not another guy in the mix, right? “Nah, just getting the food run.” “Yeah, I hear ya there.” Debatable it seems. “Alright, well, nice running into ya, Miss…?” More baiting questions. “Aina.” And successful name catch! “Miss Aina. I’m Freeman.” “Nice to meet you, Freeman.” She turned and began heading towards the checkout. Better act fast- “Hey Aina!” “Yes?” “Maybe we could hang out sometime.” “Oh.” She seemed a little surprised about that remark. “What do you mean?” “Ya know, hang out, like chillax, catch a movie, find an arcade, something like that.” Always a risky thing to ask someone you only just met. “That…does sound nice.” “Might help if we’ve both got phones.” “Oh! Yes! One second.” Now I know what you’re thinking, cause I was thinking the same thing as she was pulling out her phone: this is way too easy. And you’d be right! Most of the time that never works! But whether it was the way I said it or her way of apologizing for “running into me” - cause it definitely wasn’t my devilishly handsome looks - that’s how I managed to grab her number. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. ———— It didn’t take long for us to figure out what we’d be doing to hang out. Aina wanted to head towards a park and walk around it, and I hadn’t been to a park in forever. So it was that we ventured into one of the larger parks nearby, Swanson Park. We walked around the trail and talked about each other’s lives and such. She turned out to be quite the conversationalist actually. Aina was a recent graduate herself, as it turned out, and she was looking into working as a professional hair dresser. Not a bad profession, in all honesty. She liked reading and video games, she’s really into visual novels. She adores cats - apparently she’s got two back at her family home - and she likes just about any kind of food. Apparently she’d even eaten a great meal before we walked - an omelette with all the good stuff like peppers and cheese and mmmmmmmmmm, just thinking about it makes me salivate to try some. Her cooking might be one of her most attractive qualities. Now this is the part of the story that gets surreal. The day became night as we walked over towards the small lake at the edge of the park, a nice spot especially when the moon is full like it was on this night. It was just the right level of light to make anything that catches it radiantly beautiful, and looking over at Aina as we approached the lake and watching her light up underneath the moonbeams is something I can only describe as magical. There’s just no comparison to seeing a young beautiful girl illuminated by the moon. We sat down on the bank leading up to the edge of the lake and continued our conversation. We’d learned so much about each other already, and it felt like a connection was being formed, one that could run deeper than friends. We laid down on the cool grass and looked up at the moon in its shining glory and all the little stars that dazzled the sky, just sitting in a moment of silence. This was without a doubt one of the best nights I’d ever ha- Grrrrrruuuuurrrrrglllllllllllllleeee …eh? What was that? I looked over at Aina who had put a hand on her stomach, a look of discomfort on her face. My first brain thought was perhaps she was getting hungry again or maybe it was a stomachache; my first dick thought was that she had to fart, and from the sound of it she had to fart real bad. “You okay?” “Oh, yeah, it’s nothing. Just my stomach acting up. Happens every now and again!” “Yeah, I hear ya. This one time I was at a Mexican restaurant, I had some kind of chili there. Man, I was up half the night farting it out again!” Master fisherman sends out more bait for his fish to bite onto. “Ha ha ha, sounds about right.” …hm. Perhaps she’s adversed to talking about farting? “Freeman.” “Yeah?” “There’s something you should probably know about me.” “What is it?” GRRRRROOOOWWWWWWWLLLLLLLL That time Aina visibly curled up around her stomach, sitting straight up with her hands around it. I sat up too as I heard her mutter something, something like, “Not now.” “You sure you’re okay?” GUUUURRRRRGLLLLLLLEEEE “I have to go.” “I think there was a restroom somewhere nearby.” “No, I mean, I have to go. I’m sorry Freeman-“ She got up surprisingly quickly for someone with both hands wrapped around their stomach as though to prevent an alien from bursting through. I had to nearly leap out of my position in order to dash after her as she waddled away, her stomach growling, gurgling, and bubbling even more. “Aina, wait! What’s going on?” “I’m sorry, Freeman, this isn’t supposed to happen-“ “What’s not supposed to happen? What are you talking about?” “Just leave me alone, I swear it’s just-“ “Aina it’s really not that big a thing-“ “You don’t understand, it’s bigger than you’d imagine-“ “What is it-“ “I can’t-“ “Aina-“ “Freeman-“ And at that moment, something curious happened to both of us. As if by some great twist of fate, while quickly waddling and jogging next to each other, we tripped over the exact same tree root that jutted out of the ground, tumbled down a hill, and ended up somehow back at the lake, just at a different part. Aina appeared to be alright, but I landed rather hard on a particularly thick tree branch. She managed to see this and seemed almost instantly to forget about her own plight, coming straight for me and bending over. “Freeman! Are you alright?” “Yeah, just gonna be a little rough-“ Prrrrt. At that moment, we both registered the small two-second trombone noise that came from dangerously close by. Aina froze, her face contorted in a panic as though she’d just gotten in front of the entire city to make a speech and realized she was missing her clothes. I was stunned for a moment; actually, that fart seemed disappointingly small for the sounds her stomach was making. But then I laughed, amused at the thought. “Is that all that was? Aina, you had me worried there!” That’s when I realized what Aina was doing: pulling her pants down. It happened so fast I almost didn’t register it, and she did it as though she had no shame though her face was twisted into a horrified and embarrassed frown. I couldn’t help but be extremely aroused as she dropped her pants and panties to the ground, leaned on top of me, and pointed her lovely derriere upwards. “I’m sorry, Freeman.” “For what?” At that moment, the floodgates opened to one of the greatest and most monumental moments in my short life. Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr- It started out as the same low trembling trombone sound from before, an extended and perfectly tuned F note that as the fart went on descended slowly down an entire octave throughout its course. And as it went deeper, the sound only got louder- -rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR- I watched Aina scrunch her adorable face, contorting it in a strained expression as she continued pushing out this behemoth. She took a moment every now and again to breathe before pushing even more, her fart never once stopping and instead making an audible change of going up and down in pitch and in volume as though it were revving up for the race it was about to run. -RRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRR- This had already gone on for nearly a whole minute before a new sound was thrown into the mix, as though someone had just picked up a bucket of water and began pouring it straight down into the trombone that Aina was playing. All I could do was sit there, absolutely stunned, terrified, amazed, and getting my mind blown as Aina’s fart began with a wetter tone- -RRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrsssshhhhhaaaaAAAAAAAArrrrrrlllllllllAAAAAAAAA- The melodious sounds of this fart was almost a symphony in its own right. I felt like I had a front row seat to one of the greatest concertos ever performed by the anal sphincter - and the performance was just getting to its second movement at about a minute and a half in! The wet sounds were an indication of much more than gas to be expelled; some liquid even started to drip down from her butt as Aina continued to strain even more. -AAAAAAAAaaaaarrrRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaarrrrrRRRRRRAAAAAAA- If you were to come up to me and tell me that there was a person - nay, a girl - in the entire world who could rip a two minute fart, I would have called you crazy and walked away. Now that that barrier was broken, I would’ve down right searched for this girl to the ends of the earth until I found her and gladly devoted my life to being her eternal servant. And to think that she was right here in front of me, currently relieving herself of all of this gas in front of my eyes. -AAAAAARRRRRAAAAACCCKKKLLLLLLlllllarrrrrrrRRRRRRR- And finally at about two-and-a-half minutes in, Aina groaned and bent down closer, her head pressed against my chest as she expelled a new type of rectal matter. It started out as mere flecks of brown splattering out into the lake, and as I lay there witnessing a goddamn scientific breakthrough, the flecks became drops became a shower became a torrent of liquid feces spraying out like a broken fire hydrant on a hot summer’s day. I doubt many people would want to splash around in Aina’s hydrant on such a day. -RRRRRRRRRUUURRRLLLLLLLLAAAAAARRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAA- Her fart remained an ever-lasting constant in this concert, the lead singer in a band of gaseous anomaly and fecal absurdity. I almost felt like I was dreaming, with Aina’s presence being the only thing that kept me convinced that yep, this was a real thing, this was actually happening to me. Either that or this was the best lucid dream I was ever going to have in my life. -CCCCRRRRRAAAAALLLLLLCCCCKKKKKkkkkuuuurrrrraaaaacccckkkklllllllll- The fart began to draw back in volume as the shitstorm sprayed out into the lake, dirtying the waters for nearly a minute. Never mind that the fart continued on throughout this, drawing out to nearly three-and-a-half minutes of constant gaseous blasting from her butt. I realize I’ve been vague about the smells present throughout this ordeal, but I also find it nearly impossible to describe the odor. Rotten eggs, spoiled cheese, a diaper that’s been overused, a skunk’s spray, that weird gunk that sometimes clogs your drains, a cow’s poop, the city dump - these are all terrible-smelling things, but even their scents combined paled in comparison to this monstrosity. I’m certain the ozone layer grew another hole out of this. -AAAAAAAARRRRRRRUUUUuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrlllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaa- Four minutes. Aina’s shit stream was tapering off, but her fart continued onwards. It began to dull down, its solo already being more monumental than anything I could have hoped to find on the internet. I could probably find a fictional story about a fart of this length, but why would I need to now that I’m seeing it first hand? -aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- A new sound showed up. Some how this fart was still getting through, but it was muffled now by something. I was almost horrified and in awe at what could muffle Aina’s exposed anus before realizing she wasn’t done. The concentrated look on her face accompanied with her moan of displeasure was almost too much for me, let alone what was to happen next- -mmmmmmmmMMMMMRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR- The muffled growling grew louder as the fifth minute passed, as though her fart was angry at being restrained by what could have only been Aina’s shit. She whined and pushed hard, the strain visibly marring her youthful face with deep wrinkles, until finally- BOOM!! A cannon sounded off, blasting a large football-shaped turd out over the lake and unleashing- -RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA- There’s a certain magical charm to a girl being seen amidst the moonlight, but there’s a far more curious charm to seeing a large turd spiraling out across the lake followed by a long trailing rope nearly two inches in diameter stretching out for almost an unreal ten yards. If you had told me there was a girl who could shit a football out of her ass and pass it to an open mate all the way across the widest part of this lake at thirty yards, I would’ve called you insane and walked away. That night, I believed she just scored a touchdown. -AAAAARRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA- Aina joined in her butt’s choral crescendo with a primal yell of pleasure and relief. I continued to watch dumbfounded as the fart and shitstorm continued past the fifth half-minute mark and came into the final movement- -AAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrraaaaaaa- Six minutes. It hit the sixth minute at long last, and I looked down as Aina’s shit spluttered out behind her, arcing down to only a few feet before us and piling up as her fart began to tone down and drift into a lulling sweet musing note- -aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllrrrrrrrrrooooooooooo- Aina had come down from her own relieving yell into a pleasant moan as her shit stream trailed back to us and cut off a couple seconds after piling some loose turds behind her. Her fart continued into its seventh minute, and Aina finally breathed in and bore down, expelling out the rest of it and ending it on a brilliantly loud note- -aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPP!! And that was it. With the final string of gas out and a spray of shit to top it off, Aina collapsed on top of me, exhausted beyond belief and yet smiling with relief. I just lay back on the grass, wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly, noting that she was a bit moist from sweating. That must’ve taken a lot out of her. After a few minutes of breathing in what could have classified as a biological hazard, I looked up and surveyed the damage. A distinctly yellow tint was in the air, as the moon appeared more like a harvest moon now rather than the wonderfully bright white moon it was before. Before us was the lake, now a bit darker in some spots where the shit had flown into. I squinted my eyes hard to see that yes indeed, there was that shitty football lying on the other bank, splattered yet still maintaining half of its body. I looked closer at the shit pile that Aina had poured out in the later movement, and if I hadn’t witnessed it I would’ve wondered where the elephant had been at the time it took its dump right in front of us. That had to have been a solid amount that could fertilize the whole park. I’d make that bet. And right in my view, Aina’s glorious pale butt blaster. I would never have thought something as tremendous as this would come from that butt. I reached over and grabbed those cheeks, causing Aina to jump a little but she was still too exhausted to really do much. I massaged them for a bit and gave them a nice pat. There were just as glorious to feel as I imagined, and they put up quite a performance there. I felt like that butt was the star performer, and I was the encouraging couch congratulating it on a grand performance. I reached down for Aina’s pants and panties - a cutesie striped green-and-white pair with a light green band around the holes - and pulled them up to cover her bare bum, still risen up from her explosive expulsion. With Aina covered decently, I lay back down on the grass and closed my eyes, dozing off with Aina on top of me, the both of us smiling. ——— I woke up later to Aina’s soft nudging. She was rosy red, I could tell even in the midst of the still tainted air and the soft moonbeams. But she was also smiling a curious heartwarming smile, the kind that makes you melt into a puddle with a cute face like that. I could’ve died in my sleep and been in heaven looking up at that face…wait… “Am I dead?” “No, you’re fine, silly.” “You sure? You look like an angel.” “Not after all of that.” “You’re beautiful.” She playfully smacked me and laughed. “Sorry about all of that. I don’t normally do that in front of people.” “Yeah, I can see why.” “Shut up.” A beat. We looked right into each other’s eyes. Then I reached up and caressed her cheek with my thumb. She leaned into my hand and put her hand on top, still smiling that beautiful smile of hers. Then she leaned in to me, and I sat up to meet her in the middle. And with that, we began to make out right by the lake amidst the radiant moonbeams and the tainted air, a three foot pile of shit resting nearby as our only witness. |
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