By: JustAnotherGasWriter
February 5th, 1991 1132 AST, Baghdad governorate, Iraq.
Helen Park lit a cigarette to calm her nerves as the smoke was clearing around Saddam’s palace located about an hour south of the country’s capital city. The Rook had hit the palace hard several hours prior much earlier in the morning. While they did not find the dictator's home, they had made a quite decisive victory for the Rogue Black Ops and their NATO allies. Her heavy boots got her footsteps to echo loudly out in the hallways of the grandiose home, now totally empty as troops had begun to withdraw from the site for now and the security force was totally defeated. Park however was looking for something quite simple; the bathroom. A diet consisting of rations and MREs often gave her some terrible constipation and the poor British woman had not been able to do her business for two or three days at this point. All of the commotion this morning however or the massive stress off of her shoulders or some other factor had flipped some sort of switch in her body, and now priority number 1 was finding a bathroom as it all hit her at once!
“Shit… shitshitshit,” She thought in her head desperately as she sucked her lips in, looking through every room she encountered in the hallway. With how many rooms and hallways there were in this grandiose place, how the hell were there no bathrooms?!
Eventually and inevitably, however, she would find the Holy Grail of toilet spots; Saddam’s bedroom. Peeping inside the room, she saw the vast and liberally decorated room. From the pure gold accents on everything to the frilly curtains and bed covers to the expensive art lining the walls, she may have hit the jackpot as she spotted something in the corner… an open door that led to what looked like just what she was looking for. The agent looked around before stepping into the room with a head on a swivel. The room had definitely been cleared through earlier during the firefight but there was no being too safe here. She wasn’t too keen on one of her allies bearing witness to what was about to happen anyway! After clearing the space out, Park hurried over to the room. She confirmed just what she thought; she had found the dictator’s private bathroom! It was arguably even more grandiose than the bedroom as the walls were studded with jewels and the shower was massive to what looked like the crown jewel of the place; a golden toilet! Parker gasped when she saw it, but her stomach roaring interrupted her thoughts and snapped her out of it all and back to the reality that she needed to shit. Bad. She waddled over as fast as she could manage without risking a messy accident, already undoing her belt and pulling her pants down by the time she reached the door into the posh pooper. Her pants and panties were down below her knees right after, and her pasty white ass made contact with the fancy toilet. The seat was cold as hell, getting Park to suck her lips in when her booty made contact with it. It was a strangely powerful feeling; sitting on the toilet of a dictator she had helped just about overthrow.
PPLLLLRRRFTT–bbrRRRARRBBBTTTTT
The poor gal groaned as she felt like she was being torn in half, her guts moaning loudly to release the hefty burden that had been weighing them down for days now. The fart reflected off of the metal of the toilet bowl and the water, adding a nice and toasty updraft up against Park’s ass crack.
“Son of a bitch…” she muttered, sighing and drooping her head as she could finally do her business without having to worry about making a mess in her combat pants. This would surely be an experience she would look back at some time and probably laugh and perhaps even brag about someday. She was one of the only people on Earth that had ever taken a shit in a golden toilet, let alone the golden toilet that belonged to the dictator of Iraq!
ggrrrlllrrrg-gggFFT
Park’s legs flexed and then crossed as a particularly awful stomach gurgle emitted from her distended tummy; it was clear that any foreplay or wait leading up to the main event was over! She closed her eyes tight and leaned forward while hugging her own midsection. Her teeth bore down on her lower lip, drawing some blood from them. Behind her, the British woman’s butthole parted open to make way for her pent-up dump.
BBBBRRRUUUMMMBVT-CRSHKT
Her gaping anus blew out a large fart before a thick and fat shit log poked out of her rotund rear end. The fecal stench filled the bathroom quick; the toilet bowl did nothing to capture or contain any of it due to both how thick and nasty it was but also with the way she was hanging on to the toilet towards the front of the seat meant that there was an open lid on the back part for the smell to waft up and contaminate the room. Park blushed as she picked up on her own MRE-induced power crap, draping a sleeve over her nose to shelter herself from her own punchy smell as quickly as she could to minimize personal suffering. In all of her years, she had never let something out of her body that was this vile… and the first log hadn’t even dropped out of her asshole yet!
PPLURRP
It finally dropped out of her rear end and into the golden toilet with a triumphant splash that got the brunette to jump up in shock. Her asshole didn’t close all the way and the second load of scat was already on the way out. This one at least felt smaller to her; either that or Park’s asshole was so stretched out by the first one that the true size of it didn’t register in her brain.
ccfffkksht…
A gentler pop came out from her bum and the log inched out at a nice pace from her, soon joining the first turd down in the bowl with a nice SPLRSH of its own!
“Ahhhaugh… bloody rations they give us here…” Park grumbled under her breath, recovered enough from her urgent stomach ache that she could at least sit up on the toilet now and pull a cigarette out to destress herself further. She made sure to ignite her Zippo away from her face to make sure there wouldn’t be any flare-up due to the methane hanging in the air all around her, lighting her cig up after seeing it was clear. The nicotine rush in her head took the rest of the edge off and she sighed and leaned back. She could still feel pressure in her bowels, but it wasn’t nearly as urgent now.
PPLLLRRRVVBBTT-PLRRPPT
Two back-to-back airy farts slipped out and blew harshly against the forming shit pile in the golden toilet bowl, Park taking a drag of her smoke as she let out the feral fart.
“Park… where are you? We are packing out to go home. Over,” A familiar voice popped in over her radio, snapping Park back to attention when she heard it. It seemed like Adler and the rest of the team were getting impatient waiting for her to go home!
“J-just finishing business up… it took a few minutes to find the head. I will be out momentarily. Over,” Park stuttered into her radio, nervously puffing on the cig. She didn’t want them to come looking for her and find her like this!
“Copy, the bird is ten mikes out… LZ is the front lawn of the palace. Hurry it up. Out,” Adler replied back, giving Park a hard deadline to finish her poo up.
“Fucking shit; we spend five days doing nothing, but there is always a hurry when I actually need the time…” Park huffed in frustration. She smoked her cigarette as fast as she could, pushing down on her tummy to force out the rest of her crap load. A third turd crowned out of her puffy asshole, curling out until it joined the rest of the mess down below!
BBRRARRRPPPBBSHHHT
Park made a face as some more intermittent gas forced its way out, sending little bits of now much softer shit in all directions inside of the bowl.
“One more good push… then I think it is all done…” she talked to herself like she was coaching up for the final run to the finish line. At least it felt to her like the remaining waste stored up in her colon was nice and soft so there would be minimal issues squeezing it off! Park put her cig to her lips and closed her eyes, drawing the last of it in as the ember burned down to the top of the filter. As she did so, she put up her one nice, good push. Her butthole spread open for the last time, soft serve texture shit curling out of her behind to be a good topper for the much thicker and more rock-solid pile she had dropped off at the beginning of this whole ordeal. It was soft and easygoing, but there was plenty left as the next two minutes completely consisted of Park taking a healthy soft poo into the toilet below with no interruption or break.
PLLRSKT-PLLRRRPPPHT
The messy fart blew the last shit chunks out of her body, marking the end of the gnarly crap. Park groaned as it was finally over; she felt several pounds lighter easily as she finally was able to offload the spare cargo that had been bogging her down for days. She wrapped toilet paper around her hand several times to give herself a generous and plentiful amount to wipe with, swabbing the multi-ply poo paper against her dirty asshole until she was finally nice and cleaned up several swipes later. The paper was tossed atop of the scat mountain and Park stood up and pulled her pants up. Finally, she turned around to give the mess a flush… and holy shit there was a lot of… well, shit in the toilet! Her eyes widened in disbelief when she spotted how much had truly come out of her body, but the clock was still ticking and she gave the handle a quick tug or two to wash it all away. To her dismay, however, the toilet did not even try to swallow her massive shit load. She not only had the privilege of using such a prestigious toilet, but she had broken it on her first try with what really was little effort! Park pulled on the flush handle several more times, her face getting red, and her tugs became more desperate as the attempts piled up. She had to go however and she knew it; the Brit begrudgingly leaving her monstrosity of a dump to just rot in the mouth of the golden throne. It took a few minutes for her to get outside, and by then their ride was finishing the loading process. Adler was waiting outside of the bird for her, waving Park over before loading with her so they could take off.
“Took you long enough; what gives?” Adler questioned her once they had their headsets on in the heli, looking at Park with what felt like a rather icy stare behind his slick aviator shades.
“Look… I couldn’t find a bathroom for most of that, okay? Sorry, I held everyone up…” Park protested with a half-truth, her voice tired and defeated.
Adler looked at her with an expression of distrust, though his lips curled to form a smirk after a moment. “No need to lie; we all have those moments in the field… still, I didn’t take you as someone that needed nearly an hour to shit,” He laughed, calling her out bluntly.
Park’s blush gave her grift up right away, though she did speak up again in her own defense. “Listen, I had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,”
Adler raised a brow in interest, taking a good guess at what she meant, “You shit out Saddam’s crapper?”
Park’s face remained bright red as Adler again asked in his blunt manner, but nodded yes. Adler laughed as she confirmed this, offering her a fist bump.
“Took the man’s palace and then broke the man’s bathroom… that’s an assertion of power I think just about anyone can respect,” Adler told her, still chuckling as he couldn’t fathom Park of all people doing something like this.
“Just please… don’t spread that around too much,” Park asked him with a sigh.
“Don’t worry sweetheart, your secret is safe with me,” Adler shrugged, looking off to the horizon. With that, the two joined the rest of the passengers, closing their eyes and finally getting some well-deserved sleep as they headed back to the post from a mission well done.