69-50/50
by American Wonton

WARNING. THIS STORY CONTAINS FART/BUTT DOMINATION, SCAT, AND SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

I’ve always been wary of the warnings of the internet. I mean if you don’t know what you’re getting into, you probably shouldn’t be on there. But trust me, that doesn't mean that life won’t throw you a few curveballs. I found that out the hard way.

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Being a horny, young 15 year old, I was desperate to lose my virginity. Truth be told, I’m not THAT bad looking, but I have the charisma of a house mice. Thus, I turned my sexual deviance to the internet. Yes, porn and cam sites, but I had always wanted to try it for realzies. So one day, I swiped my mom's credit card, got me some bitcoins, and decided to go shopping.
Craigslist and the like turned up the usual suspects. Ugly, desperate freaks like myself propped themselves up for some prostitution, but they were all too old,(or too creepy for my tastes). Low and behold, I found one girl on Tinder who happened to be my guardian/deviant angel! Or so I thought.

“So, DTF?” So romantic, I thought typing. Her name was Jessica, a plump 18 year old with nary a description on her page. Sometimes that DTF was a yes for these girls...and sometimes they got offended. “Yuppity yup,” came her reply. Obviously romance wasn’t an issue here. “I’m free today. Taco Bell?” And so, the transaction began.

Jessica was a little pudgier than her photos led on. Think Amy Schumer, with a little more love handles...and a LOT more cushion for the pushin. I stood at the door to Taco Bell, watching her like a Craigslist creeper. God, was this how I wanted my virginity to be lost? I was desperate I mean, not looking for Megan Fox here. But still- “Over here Mark! Don’t worry, I’m only biting the food.” I sucked in the last of my fear and went over to meet her. I saw her thick rimmed glasses shield a pair of bright blue eyes. Over the glasses poured long, dark hair, with red streaks running as braids. She could pose as a tumblr model...best not to compliment her with that. She smiled when I sat opposite her. “Alright Mark, let’s get down to business.” she said, smiling. Jessica scanned the empty eating area for a second. Then, she took a bite of her chicken quesadilla and raised a leg.

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FRRRMMMMPPPBBTT! A fart that sounded both wet and solid erupted against the back of her denims. She smiled and took a whiff of her brand. “So, what do you think? That gross you out?” My dead stare and shock turned to disgust when the smell hit me. The “Mexican cousine” certainly did it’s trick. I contemplated standing up to give her space, but my gentleman manners kept me glued in my chair. “I, uhhh,”. She stopped me, scooting in her chair to lift her cheeks towards me. BBLLLLBBBBBBBBTTT! “How about that?” she asked. This time I could hold it in no longer. I covered my nose as her second fart somehow excelled in stink above the first. “Oh my...STOP!” I whispered, as she bent around to let another one loose. “So we’re in agreement? You don’t like them?” she asked, rubbing a finger along her crack. “No, what the hell?!” I said. I stood, checking to make for SURE that no one was around to hear or smell her gas. I’m sure if an employee was nearby we’d get thrown out. Jessica laughed then threw her trash away. “Good, then follow me to my car.” she said, heading out the door. “You want that sex, right?”

The coarse nature of her sentence aroused me and confused me. I chose to follow her. The worst decision of my life.

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“So my- hold on,”. FFRRRLLLBBBBPPTT! I groaned and tried to roll down the windows. She had child locked them. Clearly her flatulence wasn’t at a standstill in the car. “So like I was saying, I’m down to fuck.” Began Jessica again. “But I have a few negotiations in mind. If you want to do it, I expect you to follow them. To the letter.” BBBRRRLLLBBBB! I covered my nose; I could taste the beef and Hot Sauce leaking out her ass. My sexual deviance for her was sprinting away. But she must have read my mind. “I know you're desperate. You're a virgin, right?” I sighed, not wanting to make myself anymore of an embarrassment. Then again, I had a lot of dirt for her farting on me. “Yeah, I am,” I said. “And I want to have sex. It’s just..what do you have in mind?” FFFLLLOOOORRBBBTT! “Oh my God!” I cried. My head was now tucked in my shirt, but it seemed her farts had a way of finding me. “Oh shut up,” she said, punching my shoulder.

“I have a few fetishes of mine. The farting is one of them. Obviously. I’m a dominatrix; you're a virgin, but I know you have the internet, so I geuss you might already have looked down that alley? Doesn't hurt that you’re a bit younger than me either...and smaller.” I hadn’t even thought about that. She was 18 and bigger...and I was 15, and smaller. There’s a statutory case in there somewhere, right? “But long story short, I fart on people and they sniff it. It turns me on,” she continued. I smelt a horrific eggy smell. Jessica giggled as my shirt went deeper against my face. “I see what you mean.” I said.

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So long story short, everything was falling into place. Jessica’s parents were gone, we went up to her room. No romance involved indeed. “Strip naked. All the way.” she said. I shook as I did so...this was a big first to me. “Oh come on, pussy. You think I haven’t seen balls before?” I sighed and removed my hands from my genitals. Jessica frowned at my crotch and shrugged. “Eh, not important right now.” she said. Ouch.

Jessica grabbed my neck and forced me against her jean pants. “Ow, what-!” PPRRRLLLBBTTTT! My head flung away as the fart followed my nose. “Ah ah, no! Remember what we talked about?” said Jessica. She shook her cheeks and I sighed. The bean and spice flavored fart increased exponentially as my face finally made contact with her ass. BBBLLLRRRBBBBB! “Good boy,”.

This went on for a couple minutes. Jessica was very vague about how long I was “servicing” her. Finally, she reached for her belt and undid the buckle. I watched the jeans fall and was now staring at her naked, white cheeks. I felt my weiner tingle...this was nothing like in the pornos. BBBRRRRRPPPPP! “Sniff,” she said. Despite the smell, my face buried into her asscrack. “I can stick my penis in here...soon.” I mumbled quietly. FFRRRRPPPPTTT! “No talking,” she barked. “Only sniffing.” I suffered another 10 or so minutes against her ass. It was hell...and a little bit of heaven. This wasn’t my exact wanted relationship with her ass. But for a first, it was pretty mindblowing. BBBLLLOOORRPPPTT! I coughed as a wretched fart blew past me. It smelled of sulfur and methane stew. Jessica sighed sexily, pleased with my discomfort. I watched in amazement as her asscrack opened to a sexy cavern of horrendoues stench. Her butthole was raw, stained brown with little specks of what I prayed to christ was dirt. PPLLLLLLPPPPPPP! Little specks of hair fluttered in my direction as her bubbly fart rippled out...but I didn’t care. I was mesmerized by her pink hole, reaching out to me, just asking to be held and caressed. “Lick it,” said Jessica. BBBLLLRRRBBTT! A harsh fart vibrated out her asshole and I was once again reminded of that organ’s purpose. “No!” Her sexy cavern closed and Jessica bent down for her clothes. “Wait I mean...fine.”

Jessica smiled and leaned in my direction, slowly spreading her cheeks with her hand. I leaned in closer for an inspection. BBBRRRRLLBBB! “Oh gross!” I cried. The fart kissed my lips, tasting of all her tacos rolled into one shitball. Jessica laughed. “Oh so now it’s gross? Come on kid, you’ve come this far.” With great sexual passion and courage, I leaned in further, my eyes closed and my tounge outreached. When I made contact, we both shivered-her out of lust and me out of disgust. Her asshole was all her farts reincarnated in an oatmeal mesh form. BBRRLLLLLLLRRRRR! A sly fart tooted past my tounge and it took all my willpower to keep it outstretched.

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This went on for a solid 20 minutes. I counted, trust me. Jessica finally deemed me worthy to join her naked on the bed. “Lay face up, and don’t move.” she said. I did so, ready for my sexual treatment. To my horror and not so much shock, Jessica turned round to sit on my face. “Hey no! You said once we were done we could have sex!” I said. “This IS sex,” said Jessica. “We’re just speeding it up a little. It’s called the 69-50/50. Ever heard of it?” I shook my head no shly. Jessica crossed her arms in a huff. “You and I are going to 69 each other. You eat me out, smell a little farts, and I suck your cock. 50/50. Comprendo?” I wanted to protest to traditional sex...but it seems like she had already made up her mind. I watched her butt once again cover my vision and her familiar rank asshole stretch out at me. FRRRRRBBBPPPTTT! “Ah, there we go. The sooner you get started, the sooner I get started,” she said, adjusting her rump to fit around my head. My eyes glittered to her perfect, cameltoe pussy lips. Slowly I pressed my tounge along the edges, then sunk inside. “Ah, there we go, fartboy. Let’s begin.”

Her pussy was almost as gross as her asshole. Almost. At least here, there was some sort of sexual deviance instead of pure waste being launched at me. FFRRROOMMMPPTT! Spoke too soon. With my mouth wide open I took every inch of her frothy fart particles. This did NOT seem 50/50. Until she wrapped around my cock. OH MY GOD. I don’t know if she was an expert...but it certainly felt like it! With an iron grasp her mouth glided along my cock, wringing it silly. I could practically feel my sperm fizzzing around like a soda can. Suddenly, it stopped. PPPRRRLLBBBOOTT! I coughed as a raunchy fart of bean cheese burrito lunged at me. “Are you gonna stare and drool like a monkey or get licking? Remember, 50/50?” FFRRRRPPPPPTTT! Her rancid farts grimly reminded me of my duty to her booty. I pressed on.

PPRRRBBBBTT! FFFLLLLLBBPPT! PPSSRRHHHHTTT! Her farts grew more aggressive and frequent as time went on. I felt like I was digging my own stinkhole. My vision became blurry. I didn’t know if it was the added methane or the blood rushing to my dick. FFFLLRRRBBBBTTT! God that cheesy fart really did it to me. But I almost ignored it from her mouth. It seemed like it and her mouth had an inverse relationship. Every Time her mouth went in-FFRRRBBOOOOT!- her asshole went out. Whenever her mouth sucked up along my dick-PPPTTTTTTTTTBB!-her ass crashed down to blast me with a fart. BBPPTTTSSHHTT! The thick fart juice shot at my closed eyelids...but that wasn’t all that was wet. It seems my tonguing only went so far, so now Jessica was slamming her pussy down on my mouth...and her cheeks on my face. BBRRROOOOTTT! FFFLLBBBBBTTT! Seriously! I felt like her booty would give me a concussion and I’d have a seizure if I had to keep smelling this shit. But god...oh god was it worth it. Her teeth ran along the tip and she gave gentle kisses on top...then slurped down the shaft. ALL THE WAY. BBBBRRRROOOOTTT! The airy toot gave way to the veins in my dick about to burst. I could feel them surging. “aawwhhrr! I’m gunna curm!” was all I could manage to say. Again, I’m a gentleman. A gentleman who has seen pornos, but she deserved SOME warning. Right? But she didn’t give me one.

All at once her mouth removed itself from my cock; my dick stood upright against the now chilly air. She rose, my tounge sliding out her pussy. Before I could protest, she spread her asscheeks above me. “Open your mouth. NOW!” I got caught up in the moment. I quickly agreed and she smiled back on me deviously. My eyelids closed as her asshole aligned with my lips. BBBRRROOOPPLLBBTTT! The fart ran circles around my teeth and ended down my throat. My eyes burned and I could feel my gag reflexes kicking in. I tried shutting my mouth, but her asshole created a bridge for her fart particles to keep on crossing. BBBRRMMOOPPT! FFLLOOBBRRRBTT! PPTTTOOTOTOTT! I coughed against her asshole but my protests were only met with harsher, dryer farts pushing down my mouth hole. She sighed sexily. She just sat on me for a few seconds, taking in the dominance of the hot breath of her asshole fighting against the desperate gasps of her playmate. This was NOT how I wanted my virginity to be lost. Very dizzily, my hands fought to push her off me...but I was soon met with another battle.

PPRRRMMMMMPPTTT! I gagged as a 5 second toot sent the taste of her Gordita crunch into my stomach. I would have puked, but I felt like her asshole would have just pushed it back down. Hell, I could barely manage breathing at this point! “Ohhh,” came a grunt from her. Then, I felt her asshole separate and a slimy texture unleash. PPSSHHHTTTT! A tiny wet squeeker corked out a river of shit pouring into my mouth. My tounge and teeth had no natural instinct but to let this assailant past. I felt my stomach churn as my brain and nose process what they were allowing to go into my body. “Oh yeah...50/50, baby.” said Jessica, smiling down at me. She winked, letting out a petite ripper...then another layer of her sludge. My mouth was now filled to the brim as her asshole continued it’s sewage trek into my stomach. PPSSHHRRRT! She rose, letting her shart be the finale of shit spewed across my face.
I couldn't’ move, only focus on breathing through my nose. Jessica, on the other hand, went to go throw my clothes at me. “Alright fartboy, I think that’s enough for today. Now I know what you’re thinking and I’m here to tell you not to worry.” This bitch had NO idea what kind of insults my mind was forming right now. If my mouth wasn’t still swallowing her shit, I’d share them with her. “Don’t worry. Today was just your initiation. I let my slaves get to know my ass before fully engaging with its...complexities.” She bent near her bedside to pick up her clothes. BBRRRMMPPPTTT! I turned my nose away all too late, almost puking up her shit from the added smell of her shitstained farthole. “Oh don’t get so testy. You’ll get your sex, in due time. Hell, I’ve even let some of my slaves do anal.” She climbed upon the bed again, laying on the other end and spreading her cheeks. “Is that what you want, fartboy? Do you want to fuck my little pooper?” BBBLLLLLTTT! I stared into her shit-blackened asshole as she spoke. I really didn’t know what I wanted. Especially after that ordeal. But the way she blew me was...mind blowing. My head reacted before my brain did. I nodded.

Jessica smiled and leapt from the bed. “Get dressed,” she said, picking up her own clothes. We became clothed and Jessica even allowed me to wipe off my face. I emerged from the bathroom, totally cleaned from the situation. At least, on the outside. Her farts and shit still clung around my teeth...and my physique. “Oh, I almost forgot,” she said. I watched her pants descend again and she spread her cheeks. “A parting goodbye gift. I want you to display your loyalty.” My eyes teared up as her butthole pushed inward and outward. I hallucinated a log popping right out of there. “C’mon Mr. Virgin. Don’t be a pussy. I don’t bite, remember?” I took one look into her smug eyes and dove down to her waist.

Her asshole was not generous. BBBLLLPPPPTTT! Another recreation of her diarrhea blew past me. I tongued onward, swallowing the clinging remnants of her shit. She had me broken, I admit it. But I didn’t care. Next time I would fuck her silly. FFFLLLLPPPPPTTT! “I have your number. See you next time fart boy.” I watched Jessica’s asshole become replaced with the middle of her jeans. I stood there crouched as she walked back into her room. I sighed, then walked home.