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The Fall of Canterbury
Author: Closet Fetishist

Written: September 15th, 2016

I watch Machete from across the street, as I sit on the stoop of the old fire station. She's so beautiful, even in her leather armor. But she'd never waste her time with a kid like me. Even in this tiny town, she doesn't even know I exist.

She looks over, noticing me; she smiles and starts to walk over towards me.

Or maybe she does...oh shit...what am I supposed to...

"Hi...Derek, right?"

I nod, softly. I shake nervously but try to hide it.

"I've seen you leave town, heard you go all the way to the Republic of Dave, is that right?"

I nod.

"Wow! You must be really brave."

I shrug.

She smiles, "Don't talk much, huh?"

I shrug again.

"Well, I have a little adventure for you, if you think you can handle it."

I sit and think for a moment. This could be a chance to impress her; chance like this probably won't come by again.

I nod, enthusiastically.

"Okay! Follow me."

I stand and follow closely behind Machete, smiling for the first time in a while; it hurt a little at the corners of my mouth, it had been so long. I couldn't help stare at her ass a bit as I followed, it was shapely and stuck out a bit through her pant leathers.

Together, we climbed up over rocks and stones; we came to a sewer grate at the top of a hill.

"Here it is," Machete says, in front of the grate. She pulls out a lock pick and starts working at the lock until it flings open.

"Got it!" She pulls off the lock and opens the grate. "After you," she motions me forward.

I walk ahead of her and she follows close behind, closing the squeaky grate behind us.

I cautiously open the door ahead and step forward into a dimly lit area, cinderblocks stacked up haphazardly against the stone walls. Big lanterns light the way down the narrow corridor.

A few steps further and I felt a hand suddenly on my shoulder; I turn, expecting to see Machete but instead I see the bulbous red eyes of the AntAgonizer!

I can't stop myself from saying, in awe, "Wow!" Impressed to be face to face with my most favorite comic villain.

"Hello!" She proclaims loudly, "Looks like I've caught a little spy in my throne room, how lucky for me."

She grabs my arm and drags me along with her; I look around but I don't see Machete anywhere.

She pulls be along to her throne and she carelessly throws me at the foot of her chair. Then she steps over me and sits. I look up at her as she gets comfortable; she smirks down at me and lays her heavy armored boots in my face, pinning me down against the dirty cloth that acted as her rug.

"So, what's a young boy like you doing in my lair?"

I don't respond, my mouth pressed up against the floor anyways.

"You must be working for The Machinist, no?" She says, pressing her foot a little harder on the back of my head, pushing my face further into cloth on the hard ground.

Muffled, I reply, bravely but shaking, "No but he will defeat you!"

The AntAgonizer laughs, "That's cute. He was a friend of yours, right? Named Scott?"

I stay silent, not wanting to give away his secret identity incase she was fishing for information.

"Not talking now, huh? Well that's okay. We don't need to talk about The Machinist because, frankly, he's irrelevant. Really, it's you I'm after."

Her boot raises up a bit as I lift my head to meet her gaze, my vision blurred from being pinned to the floor. What did she mean...

"See, I realize my fight with...Scott, is pointless and unending. But you, you're the mayor's nephew; with you and your uncle out of the picture, I can finally destroy this town once and for all.

My eyes go wide with surprise..."But...why?"

"Because this town his a shithole!" I hear from behind me, a familar voice.

It's Machete...she...she was in on this...

She came behind me with a rough rope and tied my wrists together, behind my back. "Tanya and I want the same thing, to loot and destroy Canterbury Commons."

"But...I were good," I say, weakly to Machete.

She smirks, "What is 'good' in the Wasteland? There's no 'good,' just survival and Canterbury is on its last legs; we're just going to finish the job, something your uncle is too stubborn to do. And your little superhero friend only slowed things down."

The AntAgonizer stands, stepping her heavy boot on the back of my head as she does, "So we went to the source; the comic book obsessed, loser and fake nephew of the mayor," she laughs. "Aww, and I sure am sorry to hear about your parents dying by raider attack. My parents died from fucking ants! Do you have any idea what it's like to watch an ant rip your parents to shreds as you watch, powerless; horrified? The inhumanity of nature and its destruction? Now I harness that power! But it's funny..."

"Yeah, I'm gonna go take care of Roe if you're just gonna monologue," Machete interrupts.

"Fine. Go," the AntAgonizer says flustered, "Now where was I...oh, yeah, it's funny that, before I became the AntAgonizer, I considered another power of mine as my moniker but the AntAgonizer was too much like is me!"

She turns me over onto my back, my eyes wide with fear and confusion...what was going to happen to me here?

"I still have this...power, and it's quite strong," she says as she lifts me up until my head rests on the seat of her throne. "Perfect," she proclaims, looking at me.

Then she turns, quickly, the cloth of her costume pulled down as she lowers her nude butt down onto my face as I shake my head to try to avoid it but it's no use as she sits down, shifting my face back towards her butt crack, wedging my nose in there. Her crack was nasty, crusted with old, poorly cleaned waste from dumps long ago.

She sighs, loudly, as she sits, "There now, this is how a villain such as myself should sit, don't you think?"

I buck and kick, trying to free myself but it's no use under her and her heavy armor.

"Still, not quite enough about..."

She grunts a bit before...BRRRRRRrrrrraaaaaauuuuuuuuuupppp!

"Ahhhhh, there we are; now you are to smell that fart, my dear seat," she chuckles.

I wheeze and huff as the potent, noxious fart floats towards my nose as my tortured lungs beg for air. The stinging stench of her gas felt like a punch and left my senses dizzied.

"See there's no comic villain I could find that possesses my...unique abilities. So I settled for the AntAgonizer; I guess my farts will just have to come as a surprise to anyone who crosses me."


"Do you think their strong enough, my slave?"

"Please..." I beg, muffled and crying.

"That doesn't answer my question."

I feel my vision blur as my brain feels like it's going to explode; feeling lightheaded...


A dark spray splattered my face from her anus...

"Lick that up and answer me!" I heard her bark as things went black.


I wake with a fright; a nightmare. But as I look around at walls of a tiny cage in the same familar cavern, I realize it's all too true.

Down near my feet, I notice a tape. I pick it up...unlabeled.

I stare at the tape for a long while. Then I load it into my PipBoy, close it and press play.

- - - static - - -

Machete: "It's really a shame it had to come to this."

Uncle Roe: "Please don't..."

His voice becomes muffled as if covered with a mask or his mouth gagged.

Machete: "What a shame."


Uncle Roe: *moans* - - -unintelligible- - -

Machete: *sighs* "You know, it didn't have to be like this; you could have just disbanded the town and left. It was so simple."

Uncle Roe: *muffled screams*

Machete: "It's a bit strong, isn't it, Roe? Especially with the mask." *laughs*


Uncle Roe: *whimpering* *thrashes*

Machete: "Starting to feel light headed yet?"

I stop the recording, my eyes already soaked with tears as I cry into my arm on the cold floor of my cage.

I don't know how long I was lying there before Machete reappeared and opened the cage; maybe she was there the whole time.

"Let's go, we're moving out."

"Where?" I ask, wiping the tears from my face.

"You don't ask questions, you just obey, got it?"

I hesitate for a moment, "But why are you taking me? I thought you were going to kill me, I thought that's why you gave me the tape."

Machete smiles, "As much as I'd love to, Tanya thinks you're more useful as a toilet, and we gotta shit somewhere, right? I'll look forward to using you as well during our long journeys."

She grabs my arm and pulls me from the cage. Behind her back, she pulls out a metal collar which she quickly puts around my neck and latches it shut. "There we go, now you're official," she laughs.

"What is this?"

"A slave collar, idiot! Don't you know anything? If at any time you disobey a command, we can explode your head, make sense?"

I was stunned stiff...was she serious?

"I told Tanya you were too pathetic to disobey orders but she insisted. Honestly, I think it suits you perfectly! Shall we?" She says, leading me ahead of her.

Outside, the AntAgonizer waits with a pack brahmin; she approaches me with a chain as she sees me coming, a big smile on her face. "I picked a very special place just for you."

She attaches one end of the chain to my collar and then pulls me along towards the brahmin, then just behind the brahmin, near its backside.

Then she tugs me a little closer, until I'm inches away from this odoriferous creature's anus.

"There, that should do it," I hear the chain clink as it locks and I am stuck, unable to get more than two inches from this animal's potent backside. "I know it's nothing like mine but it'll do, right?" She laughs and so does Machete as they order the brahmin forward and start the long journey to the next town over, my face apparently destined to be bound to an animal's butt for the trip.

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