Juliet and Katie: Roommate Gasses
by Lauren3222

In the dead of winter, on a cold January evening, the lone soldier finally returns home. Her stomach growling as she treks through the snow to the front door of her tiny apartment. Juliet’s been away attending basic training for the past week, and she’s more than ready to drop all her bags and sprawl out on her couch. While basic training is hard, Juliet has very few complaints, in fact her only complaints would be about the food they serve in the mess room. On this particular week, they had been served a standard MRE every day, which by the end of the week, began to make the poor recruits stomach turn. Her stomach made another disgruntled whine, and with that she opened the door. She was greeted by the warm tungsten glow emanating from the lamp on her coffee table, the orchestral music from the soap opera on the tv, and a nervous smile from her lovely redheaded roommate Katie.
“Oh hey Juliet! Welcome back!” Katie jumped. “Hey Kit Kat, I’m good, glad to finally be ho-Ugh! what’s that smell?” A heavy fog assaulted Juliet’s nostrils, it seems Katie had gotten pretty comfortable in Juliet’s absence… “Oh yeah, sorry, I figured I had a little more time before you got here. That and I didn’t expect it to be that.. potent..” Katie blushed as she caught another whiff of her own offending musk. It was incredibly sour, with hints of pork and oddly enough week old bananas. Needless to say it was rather unpleasant. “Bleugh. It’s fine, I mean I’ve smelled worse gas in the barracks” Juliet managed to say through a pinched nose. And while it was true that she had suffered through many gas clouds while sleeping in her bunk, none were quite as nasty as the fog that was currently escaping the redhead’s cheeks. “You sure it’s fine?” Katie asked, with a little hopeful spark in her eye, she had a plentiful amount of gas that she was hoping to release, and it was beginning to hurt her to hold it in. “Yes Katie, bombs away.” Juliet didn’t put a whole lot of thought into this response, but she was too tired to care, and half jokingly added “Just let me know when it’s safe to come out” “Oh thank god, see you in a bit Jules!” *Pffffffffssssssssssssssssssssst* While silent, Katie’s farts were nothing short of deadly, so Juliet quickly shut the door, hoping to keep the air quality in her room breathable.
“Finally, home” Juliet crashed down into the mess of blankets and pillows that she called a bed. Excitedly grabbing her ipod and immediately jamming out to Violent Femmes on her Spotify. And in the moment she was finally at bliss. But what a short moment that was, for Juliet was about to find that the air was about it get a lot less tolerable. “Oh fuck, are you serious?!” Juliet’s eye’s began to water, as she heard another twin “prrrrrts” from her living room. Katie had continued to blow it up in Juliet’s absence, enough to the point where the whole apartment was becoming uninhabitable. Juliet’s stomach, who was already upset due to her previous MRE fueled week was turning even more now. Another misty waft made its way from Katie’s ass to under Juliet’s doorway causing her to gag. “Katie what the fuck?! That’s so nasty!” Juliet belted from her room. “Ha! Isn’t it though? *pfffffsssssst* Oh gosh this ones gonna stink!” Katie was having a ball, hearing her roommate choke on her fumes was weirdly empowering, especially since Juliet was such a tough chick.
Tough as she was, Juliet’s stomach had enough of the offending odors, and decided to take matters into her own hands. She had two options, either vomit her guts up, or release the pressure in a more gaseous fashion. The little soldier smirked, her counter attack was ready and with the lift of her right leg, she began to execute her biological warfare. *Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaffffffffffffffffffffffffffppppppppppppppt*
It was loud, it was proud and oh so foul. This blast was fueled from a cheap pork sausage patty, paired with an equally as cheap serving of hash browns and bacon, followed by a sweet glass of orange tang. This combination created a disgusting meaty gas that smelled so strongly of sulfur, that even dung beetles would fall over choking and gagging on the girl’s noxious scent. But to Juliet, this was lovely, we all dig our own brand, and she was no exception. Basking in her hot box of a room, she opened the door, allowing her tainted air to flow into the rest of the apartment with the sole purpose to overpower her opponent’s stench, and achieve a swift stench soaked victory.
Almost instantly, Juliet’s fog overtook Katie’s mere mist, the poor house plant they kept in the hallways was now wilting as the eggy military ration fueled cloud choked every remaining spark of life it had left. Juliet wasn’t surprised at the sight of the poor plant, she new just how bad her gas was, and it only made her more excited to see Katie’s reaction, as both her and her stench made their way to the redhead. “Oh hey Juliet, enjoying my perfume?” Katie, still joking around, had next to no idea what Juliet had cocked and loaded for her. “Katie, I’m going to give you one last chance, surrender now and stop stinking up my apartment.” Katie was a little taken aback by Juliet’s choice of words, and was now getting annoyed.. “Oh it’s YOUR apartment? Last I saw, BOTH of our names were on the lease.” “I’m warning you, I’m getting pretty sick of your stink.” Katie grinned “Stink? Whatever are you talking about Juliet? I don’t smell-*Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft* ahh, *sniff sniff* Oh, you mean that stink?” Katie burst out laughing, and began wafting her stench over to Juliet, whom had clearly had enough.
“I warned you.” Juliet locked eyes with Katie, and with all her might, Juliet let loose.
*BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSS*
Juliet’s toxic ripper lasted for a tremendous 15 seconds, starting out as an ear popping zipper ripping bomb and then finally trailing off into a silent suffocator. The force of her gas was so powerful that a thick green fog began to ooze out of her shorts and wasted now time claiming space in the room, included the space inside Katie’s lungs. “JULIET OH MY GOD, I CAN’T BREATHE!” The redhead found herself on her knees, choking on her roommates rancid ass gas, wishing that she hadn’t tormented her with her own brand. She had no idea Juliet was capable of such an overwhelming scent. “Can’t breathe? Really?” Juliet took a hearty whiff of her own stench. “I think it smells pretty good! Can’t you smell those hints of pork and bacon? Doesn’t it just smell like breakfast?” Juliet laughed with an evil smirk. “YOU’RE INSANE!” Katie gasped out, now dry heaving. “OPEN A WINDOW PLEASE!” She begged.
“Alright Katie, I’ll open one of the windows, on one condition.” Juliet was enthralled, forcing her roommate into submission was quite the thrill, and watching the redhead beg was just the icing on the cake. “ANYTHING” Katie pleaded, she was now nearing unconsciousness at this point. “I’ll open the windows IF you can withstand one of my farts at point blank!” Juliet was now reveling in her roommates defeat, wanting nothing more than to rub it in her face, literally. Katie’s face went white, “ARE YOU SERIOUS?! JULIET THAT’S CRAZY! I WAS ONLY CROPDUSTING YOU! PLEASE I JUST NEED AIR!” “No face fart, no air!” Juliet demanded, as three more killer farts escaped her rear end. *Brrrpt* *Frrrt* *Parrrp* “I’d make a decision quickly, if I were you!”
The poor ginger now feared for her life, her roommates ass was killing her with its noxious fog. She was becoming so light headed and her lungs were so desperate for air, and after receiving the smells from Juliet’s latest barrage, she caved. “FINE” Katie choked, “ONE FACE FART, THEN OPEN THE WINDOWS, PLEASE!” As soon as she uttered those words, Juliet spun around in a single swift motion, and before Katie knew it, Juliet’s ass was sat firmly on her poor freckled nose. Juliet couldn’t keep from smiling, victory never smelled so sweet. Katie’s face might as well be Hiroshima, and the horrendous gasses that Juliet has waiting for her are no less lethal then the hydrogen bomb. Speaking of bombs… “Alright Katie, bombs away”
*PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTT*
Not with a bang, but a whimper, Katie was down for the count, knocked out by the sheer stink. Without a hint of remorse, Juliet got up in a fit of laughter, she had finally gotten her revenge. Katie will dare not to stink up the apartment ever again, for Juliet’s ass is far too powerful. And with that, Juliet retired back to her bedroom without opening a single window, leaving the whole apartment a horrific eggy stinking hotbox.