Fart Mart
by Kandor

It was the thighs that caught my eye long before the smell. I'd come around a row of cars in the parking lot with my grocery cart when I saw them, the backs of them, long, thick and white, oozing fleshily from a pair of tight denim cutoffs, very short and which barely covered the cheeks of her bountiful ass. The owner of those thighs was bending inside the back of her van, putting bags in. She backed out and I noticed then she was a young woman, short blonde hair framing a dour face. She was pretty, but did not look happy. She was one of those pear-shaped women, very normal above the waist, billowing out sexily to a thick, round ass and beefy, but shapely and hard legs. On her calves she wore short white socks and on her feet, a pair of black sneakers.

She grabbed more bags and bend back inside, the shorts riding higher on her creamy thighs. Just as I found myself fantasizing about those thighs, the smell hit. It was acrid, sharp, sweet, nearly chemical in nature. My nose wrinkled in the direction I thought it coming from - which I placed to be near the woman. The trunk of my car was one spot over from her and even as I popped the lock and started shifting bags from cart to car, I heard the noise over the sound of rustling plastic, loud, low, rumbling and wet. It was unmistakably a fart. It hit me then what the smell was and I looked around expecting to see a child, or several, farting and laughing at the noise and stench. My gaze took me in the direction of the young woman whose robust thighs I was looking at again when I heard BRRRRRRRSPLLLLT!!! - and coming directly from her thick ass. My mouth hung open and I couldn't look away, even as she turned to look at me, this time rubbing her belly. She looked annoyed. "Unless you want to use that open mouth as a cork to stop these fucking farts, I suggest you shut it, asshole," she growled, throwing the last bag in the van and slamming the door. "I have intestinal problems. Care to help with them?"

I couldn't stop staring and smelling, it was a thick cloud by now and it was nauseating. I shook my head to snap out of it and mumbled her way as I turned toward my car. "You could wait until you got in the van, save us all a little nasal flesh," I grumbled. I turned my back, chuckling at my little slam at her, and never saw her coming. She jumped up and wrapped her stout legs around my sides from behind and full nelsoned my neck and arms. She hissed into my ear, "Oh, I'll save it for the van - and you!!" She bulldogged me to her side door and somehow slid it open, bringing us both inside. I was on my knees, the big blonde's legs still scissoring my sides as she sat on my back, leaning over to shut the door. The smell in here was already like I'd smelled outside - only worse. "Have a seat!" she cried, grabbing my ears and powering my face between the front seats and directly into the driver's. "I've been fucking farting like a shit wind machine all day, this oughta be nice and ripe!!!" It was, and then some, as scores of old farts billowed up from the worn seat. She rammed my face deep and hard into it, dribbling my head like a ball, and the fart d'jours of days gone by rippled up to greet me. I gagged and tried to fight, but her tight legs were sapping my strength, as was the poison air I was forced to breathe. "OK, now it's time to inhale it from the source," she barked. She flipped me over, face up in the seat, my body twisted back and to the side, painfully. She leaped over me and crashed to my face. "How's my ass smell?" she roared, wiggling on my face until the tight fabric of her shorts ribboned up between her ample cheeks into a blue jean G-string.

Her asshole was right at my nose, bending it to an agonizing degree but not so much that air wasn't coming through and with it, the stench of her fart-swollen asshole. Her butt thundered, loud and strong and wet, a BRRRRRRRFLISSSSST!!! sound, a sibilant, baritone butt sonata played directly on my face. Pure methane, stinky and acidic, straight from the shitter, devoured my head. I screamed into the backs of her thick thighs. She laughed, wiggled and farted again. Making it all worse was the fact that it was a hot day and she had the windows up.

"My doctor says I have to live with my gas problem," she said, hands on the wheel as the fart waves slapped at my face. "So I like sharing it with people. Especially assholes who stare at me for farting!!!" I couldn't move, I was paralyzed by the smell and weight of her on my face, so I was powerless to stop her as she hauled me to the back of the van and laid me on the floor next to her groceries. She slithered out of her tight shorts and lay back, legs in the air, a thick tuft of wet blonde hair around her pussy and a smaller rim of fuzz ringing her greasy asshole. "Stick your tongue into my asshole and pull those farts out," she ordered, holding her legs up behind the knees and looking down at me between them. "Do it now." I was hypnotized and unable to disobey. I leaned forward from my prone position and inserted my tongue into the milky O of her ass. The tang was bitter and harsh.

She sighed and slid forward, impaling her asshole on my tongue. My nose slipped into the cheesy folds of her pussy, fucking her hole. She rocked back and forth on it, double face fucking me and moaning. "Here it comes," she hissed. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" My tongue was clamped tight in her muscled shit walls as she unleashed a blistering torrent of ass gas that raged around the protrusion, like the winds of a Southern California brush fire around a cement wall. I convulsed from the smell and overall raunch. She laughed. "Think that's bad, try this!" she bellowed, shifting to slip my nose down inside the fetid wound of her rectum and securing me there by scissoring her hammy thighs around my temples so only the top of my head was visible in the clamp.

The farts came freely and often now, her asshole an open conduit to the methane tank in her gut by virtue of being held open by my nose. I groaned in nausea against each "Blup....blup...blup..." of her acrid ass, the farts coming out in anal burps that splashed and stung my eyes, even as I closed them tightly. She dominated me in her foul ass wash for a good half hour, the sweat soaking me and her to the skin inside that hot van. Her fingers danced on her clit, unleashing a thick river of cunt cream that sluiced down her pussy lips and into my nose, which I had to snarf in by the lungful, the otherworldly butt breezes filling my chest with poisonous air. She finally unhinged her meaty pipes from my head and I fell forward, wet face first to the carpeted van floor. "I gotta go home and put away these groceries before they spoil," she said, laughing and kicking me toward the back door. "Next time you see and hear someone fart, think of me. And keep your mouth shut. You never know what someone will put in it." Staggering outside, I was nearly overcome by fresh air. I stood, desperately rubbing my face to rid it of the stench the thick-thighed blonde had put on me. It was then I saw a pretty young woman rounding up grocery carts. She wore tight, store-issue black pants, a white shirt - and a sly smile as she looked at me. She turned her ass my way and let fly a long, wet fart. I cringed. As she walked toward me, I began to cry involuntarily....